had a rough couple of days. bf is being unsupportive, and called me a whore

the past few days ive been having really bad mood swings. spent a couple of days away from home, maybe 4, 5. binge drinking, partying, overdoing it a little with benzos and other stuff. my bf's so furious with me.

but i needed space. all he said to me today was "get out of my sight, you whore". i have some pretty obvious marks on me, so i couldn't even deny it. but i just couldn't think clearly. i felt like a different person. and i still feel a bit ike that. plus the drugs/alcohol combo. i barely even remember doing it. i know i need to get tested, becaue i'm noe sure if they even used protection. i just feel like they took advantage me me due to me being so out of it.i want himto knw the full story. but he won't talk to me. i just don't know how to get through to him?

(edited 4 years ago)

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All power to him.

I'm not sure what advice you want to hear because you've been unstable in previous relationships but you probably might want to get professional help?

Reply 3

1582

Volunteer Team

Give him space for now.

Reply 4

Ciel.

Original post by UWS

I'm not sure what advice you want to hear because you've been unstable in previous relationships but you probably might want to get professional help?

idk either.. but i don't want to talk to my irl friends about it because it's too humiliating. 'professional' help doesn't do **** if you have high levels of self awareness..

Original post by The Mogg

All power to him.

what do you mean?

Reply 5

username47781

I am afraid not much we can say here

Reply 6

username2657095

He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, especially when you’re in a vulnerable state. Get professional help, alcohol and benzos are a disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention how awful benzo withdrawal is.

Reply 7

username4937028

Oh how the tables have turned.

Reply 8

Ciel.

Original post by sinfonietta

Give him space for now.

i'm trying to but it's awkward, because we live together.

Reply 9

guong

you should definitely have communicate with him like, listen im going through something (or explain it all) and i don't expect you to understand but please i just need you there as support you mean sm to me etc

"i know i need to get tested im not sure if they even used protection" just clarification, sex?
if it is sex, then i can understand your bf's side more because you just cheated on him, whether you meant to or not, you did it

dont spam or overcrowd him, just send him a message explaining everything and asking him to be there for you and then leave it
he's sure to read it, but don't spam him

Reply 10

username1539513

So you basically got raped whilst you were out of your head on benzo’s and alcohol?

Reply 11

Lewito

Original post by Ciel.

what do you mean?

I mean, all power to him. As soon as you cheat you lose all leverage on deciding what happens next, what he does next is solely at his discretion, and if I was him I know what I would do without a doubt.

Edit: Reading over it again, if it was in the area of rape then that's a different matter entirely.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 12

guong

all you can do is respect him, do your best to explain to him but don't force him to listen, just calmly tell him please just listen, or message him
and if he doesn't want anymore than that then
you cant do anything

Reply 13

Ciel.

Original post by Rock Fan

I am afraid not much we can say here

what's the point of commenting then

Original post by byeongkwans

i know it's a dangerous combo, but i know how to do it right. i'm not even addicted, so there's no risk of withdrawal etc.

Original post by guong

we ive together tho. and yeah, it was sex.

Reply 14

username47781

Original post by Ciel.

what's the point of commenting then

because so many times we give you advice but you slap it back in our faces, any wonder many people have no sympathy anymore

Reply 15

MidgetFever

I wish there was something I could say that would be of some use, but your relationship judging by previous posts sounds quite complicated. All I can say is that I hope it works out for you, and if it doesn't and you need to vent to someone then I'm more than willing to listen.

Reply 16

Ciel.

Original post by HAFIZ M.BiLAL

I am Muslim in Pakistan

why should i care

i don't want to call it that. my memory is all fuzzy, but unfortunately it's very possible that i encouraged them in some way, etc. i can be very flirtatious when i'm drunk. so i don't want to make any serious accusations like that. but imho, it's just not okay to have sex with a very drunk/drugged person

Original post by The Mogg

ah. i see.

Reply 17

strictlylover

you need professional help but you won't seek it. not much we can do here.

Reply 18

username1539513

Original post by Ciel.

If you were a girl most people would say it’s rape so I don’t see why it’s different just because you’re a guy. You probably got raped, if you were out of your head to the extent you don’t remember coming on to anybody or sex itself

Reply 19

username2816962

TIL; Men can be called whores.

But anyway, you seem to keep running into problems with this guy, to the point where being together doesn't even sound enjoyable in the slightest. My girlfriend and I have had a bad few weeks too, due to her worrying about her non existent weight problem, but we still always enjoy talking and have never had a serious fight over it, name called or upset one another. Disagreements and arguments are normal, and it would be really weird if you have been in a relationship where the two of you never disagree or have a few conflicts, but it is how those are dealt with is what matters most. If there is name calling, lack of trust, communication and constant issues then that seems like a pretty flawed relationship to me.