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Girlfriend and religion?

My family, grandmother and dad are from a country which is hated by student body, academics and left politics.
and while I acknowledge my roots, I was never able to speak about it openly because the university I went to was radically left wing and I was attacked with slurs during my first year.

I ended up joining the radical left wing group to protect myself from hate and so far have been successful as nobody treats me badly. I just pretend or hide the fact that I have nothing to do with my country.

However, all my friends are extremely "anti my country" and can very well be hateful of my religion. They also support those people and groups who actively hate my people.

While I never dated any girl from my friend circle, I am now dating one. This happened all of a sudden. I knew her but wasn't interested in her until we started hanging out and had sex etc.

Shes the same views and while everything is okay for now and went to meet my mother , my mother didn't like her and blatantly said that my group of friends and her will never accept me for who I am.

Which is true because they I like me because they think I'm "different".

She also said that suppressing my identity and feelings for a charade isn't the best way to go.
I love my mom and I do agree with her because I do know that once I stand up fro my views, these people will not really be friends with me.

I'm second guessing my choices now. What do you think?

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Good grief, what country could you be from that makes you so reviled? I've never heard of such a thing! What slurs were used against you?

I think you should make your views clear and make friends who share them. But also, it can be nice to have friends who don't share your views, as long as they're civil about it, because nobody's ever completely right, and talking with people who disagree with us is how we grow intellectually. So I guess what I'm saying is - talk with your friends and girlfriend about these views that you think they might not like, in a calm and civilised way, and see how they react. Building friendships and relationships on false pretences is a recipe for messy breakups later.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Good grief, what country could you be from that makes you so reviled? I've never heard of such a thing! What slurs were used against you?

I think you should make your views clear and make friends who share them.Y But also, it can be nice to have friends who don't share your views, as long as they're civil about it, because nobody's ever completely right, and talking with people who disagree with us is how we grow intellectually. So I guess what I'm saying is - talk with your friends and girlfriend about these views that you think they might not like, in a calm and civilised way, and see how they react. Building friendships and relationships on false pretences is a recipe for messy breakups later.

You are so much valuable man. Thank you for sharing this information.
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Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Good grief, what country could you be from that makes you so reviled? I've never heard of such a thing! What slurs were used against you?

I think you should make your views clear and make friends who share them. But also, it can be nice to have friends who don't share your views, as long as they're civil about it, because nobody's ever completely right, and talking with people who disagree with us is how we grow intellectually. So I guess what I'm saying is - talk with your friends and girlfriend about these views that you think they might not like, in a calm and civilised way, and see how they react. Building friendships and relationships on false pretences is a recipe for messy breakups later.

Israel. My grandmother and dad side are from there. And all my friends and gf are anti Israel and can possibly be antisemitic
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Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Good grief, what country could you be from that makes you so reviled? I've never heard of such a thing! What slurs were used against you?

I think you should make your views clear and make friends who share them. But also, it can be nice to have friends who don't share your views, as long as they're civil about it, because nobody's ever completely right, and talking with people who disagree with us is how we grow intellectually. So I guess what I'm saying is - talk with your friends and girlfriend about these views that you think they might not like, in a calm and civilised way, and see how they react. Building friendships and relationships on false pretences is a recipe for messy breakups later.

In my first year I was attacked with antisemitic slurs as the uni I was at was extremely anti israel. I just decided to hide my roots and pretend I have nothing to do with it . Rarely mentioned my grandmom side and joined the extreme left group of people so that I didnt face any more hate.
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Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Good grief, what country could you be from that makes you so reviled? I've never heard of such a thing! What slurs were used against you?

I think you should make your views clear and make friends who share them. But also, it can be nice to have friends who don't share your views, as long as they're civil about it, because nobody's ever completely right, and talking with people who disagree with us is how we grow intellectually. So I guess what I'm saying is - talk with your friends and girlfriend about these views that you think they might not like, in a calm and civilised way, and see how they react. Building friendships and relationships on false pretences is a recipe for messy breakups later.

I was born in Norway so I'm claimed myself to be Norwegian and from Norway :frown:
From my experience, they actually hate the Israel Govenrment and not Israel itself. It’s similar to the Anti American hate. It’s towards the government and not the people themselves. Just the fact, a girl is dating proves my point. If she did hate you, she wouldn’t have had sex with you in the first place.
Original post by Professional G
From my experience, they actually hate the Israel Govenrment and not Israel itself. It’s similar to the Anti American hate. It’s towards the government and not the people themselves. Just the fact, a girl is dating proves my point. If she did hate you, she wouldn’t have had sex with you in the first place.

I think the point is, she doesn't know he's Israeli yet.
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Original post by Professional G
From my experience, they actually hate the Israel Govenrment and not Israel itself. It’s similar to the Anti American hate. It’s towards the government and not the people themselves. Just the fact, a girl is dating proves my point. If she did hate you, she wouldn’t have had sex with you in the first place.

She basically had sex and they all like me because I dont associate with Israel. I always acted like I had nothing to do with it. Other jewish people at the uni had to face issues with these types of people because they owned up to their roots
I simply hid it or never talked about it, and hung out with them hence I'm liked.

And no, they dont hate the government. They hate everything associated with it. And very well can be antisemitic.
Original post by Anonymous
Israel. My grandmother and dad side are from there. And all my friends and gf are anti Israel and can possibly be antisemitic


I'm so sorry to hear it! I'm not a huge fan of how belligerent the Israeli government is acting but I see Israel and Palestine as kind of as bad as each other - and I definitely don't blame or think the less of their populaces. It's a shame your friends seem to take a more generalising stance >.>

Yeah, I'd steel yourself, and stick your neck out and talk it through with them. If you're lucky, they're basically misinformed, reasonable people, and you, an example of a non-hateful, friendly, Israeli person will help them to reconsider. Otherwise prepare to find new friends and romantic prospects. If it comes to that, keep in mind that it was never going to work out in the long term anyway, and it was better to get it over with!
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I think the point is, she doesn't know he's Israeli yet.

She knows I'm jewish but I associate with norway bot israel in front of my friends.
I have mentioned my grandmom but I usually just avoid talking about it.
Not all Brits hate Israel and if they think the average citizen of Israel is responsible for the actions of the IDF they’re stupid
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I'm so sorry to hear it! I'm not a huge fan of how belligerent the Israeli government is acting but I see Israel and Palestine as kind of as bad as each other - and I definitely don't blame or think the less of their populaces. It's a shame your friends seem to take a more generalising stance >.>

Yeah, I'd steel yourself, and stick your neck out and talk it through with them. If you're lucky, they're basically misinformed, reasonable people, and you, an example of a non-hateful, friendly, Israeli person will help them to reconsider. Otherwise prepare to find new friends and romantic prospects. If it comes to that, keep in mind that it was never going to work out in the long term anyway, and it was better to get it over with!

Thank you!

They are equally bad I agree but my friends and gf are pro Palestine, pro BDS, believe israel is apartheid state and really for academic boycott of israel. They are extremely intolerant and they only allow people in the group who say as they say.

I am liked because I simply hid my roots or never associated with it in front of them due to past experiences.

They also support leaders who have openly said antisemitic things too and this includes my gf
These people aren't British. They are mostly laying Americans, spanish and French. Plus the girl I'm dating is Spanish.
Latin Anerican
Well they’re as stupid as those who think ISIS represent all Muslims; pay them no mind
Well these are my friends and gf unfortunately.
I’m sorry to hear that; maybe try taking them to Israel and show them how beautiful and westernised the country is? People tend to have negative preconceptions about Israel which can be dispelled by actually going
They are pro boycott Israel. They support people who have said israel doesnt deserve the right to exist and should be erased from the map.
Honestly you can be Jewish and pro-Palestine, does your and your gf's beliefs differ? I can't ever imagine hating an Israeli person based on the terrible acts of the IDF because it doesn't represent them as a person

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