The Student Room Group

LONELY! No friends at sixth form

So basically, I had a group of 3 friends. The first girl fell out with me because I called her out for lying to me, the second girl called me a slut and the third girl apparently 'felt sorry' for me but I wasn't 'fun' for her anymore, so she had to 'focus on her self'.

I really try to be a good friend, I always try my hardest to be as kind and honest and open as I can.

I have friends outside of SF, but I don't have any to eat lunch with, go on school trips with etc. I'm just alone.

I do have health issues; I am thinking they might have all left because they thought I was a burden on them or something? I don't really want to notify any teachers that I don't have friends because frankly they're useless at dealing with things like this (I know from previous experience).

Any advice you can give on how to deal with this? I feel really lonely and trying to make other friends is very difficult as everyone has their already established friends group.

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Reply 1
I forgot to mention I am in year 13, so I only have a few months left until I leave anyway.
I have a few school trips soon and I really don't want to be the only one having lunch alone.
Reply 2
I'm sorry to hear that.
You are not a burden! How old are you? Do you study well?
By the way, does making online friend also help?
Reply 3
Original post by Dalpx
I'm sorry to hear that.
You are not a burden! How old are you? Do you study well?
By the way, does making online friend also help?

Hi,

I am 17, so I am in year 13.

I do try to study as best as I can, due to health problems it's very difficult, but I get good enough grades.

Making online friends does help, but I can never seem to make any, they ghost me after like 3 weeks.
Can you message me? I’ll help. Cos uno it’s never nice being alone. So message me and stuff I’ll chat to you quickly
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

I am 17, so I am in year 13.

I do try to study as best as I can, due to health problems it's very difficult, but I get good enough grades.

Making online friends does help, but I can never seem to make any, they ghost me after like 3 weeks.


What health problem do you have? (You may PM me )
I’m sorry mate.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Can you message me? I’ll help. Cos uno it’s never nice being alone. So message me and stuff I’ll chat to you quickly

Hey, I can message you, but I don't know who you are because you messages anonymously.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
So basically, I had a group of 3 friends. The first girl fell out with me because I called her out for lying to me, the second girl called me a slut and the third girl apparently 'felt sorry' for me but I wasn't 'fun' for her anymore, so she had to 'focus on her self'.

I really try to be a good friend, I always try my hardest to be as kind and honest and open as I can.

I have friends outside of SF, but I don't have any to eat lunch with, go on school trips with etc. I'm just alone.

I do have health issues; I am thinking they might have all left because they thought I was a burden on them or something? I don't really want to notify any teachers that I don't have friends because frankly they're useless at dealing with things like this (I know from previous experience).

Any advice you can give on how to deal with this? I feel really lonely and trying to make other friends is very difficult as everyone has their already established friends group.


Teachers never did, in our history ,have any choice over their students friendship choices! Sixthformers rarely have true friends, they have acquaintances that disappear at the end of sixthform when its time for uni or to get a job! That is the truth. Ask your parents or people in their twenties!
Widen your interests and hobbies and just give life your best shot and don't worry too much; people will never be completely perfect!
Reply 9
Original post by mgi
Teachers never did, in our history ,have any choice over their students friendship choices! Sixthformers rarely have true friends, they have acquaintances that disappear at the end of sixthform when its time for uni or to get a job! That is the truth. Ask your parents or people in their twenties!
Widen your interests and hobbies and just give life your best shot and don't worry too much; people will never be completely perfect!

I was just saying that in case anyone said to talk to my teachers. I know that they probably couldn't do anything.

It's just frustrating that everyone has someone to eta lunch with, someone to revise with, someone to go on trips with etc. I am literally the only one who's alone.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I was just saying that in case anyone said to talk to my teachers. I know that they probably couldn't do anything.

It's just frustrating that everyone has someone to eta lunch with, someone to revise with, someone to go on trips with etc. I am literally the only one who's alone.

But it is good that you have friends outside of SF. Can't you arrange to meet any of them at lunchtime or in the late afternoon.
Those people in your sixth form that you fell out with are no longer your friends.
It is good training for you if you ever go to uni!
Just enrich your after school/college life by connecting with your own friends and your interests and hobbies.
You are not in college for long are you?
Put on some headphones with your favourite music at lunchtimes/breaktimes and find a quiet place to relax and chill!
You want see these people again un 12-18months time so don't worry or beat yourself up about their attitudes! Being by yourself is better than having toxic "friends!
Original post by Anonymous
So basically, I had a group of 3 friends. The first girl fell out with me because I called her out for lying to me, the second girl called me a slut and the third girl apparently 'felt sorry' for me but I wasn't 'fun' for her anymore, so she had to 'focus on her self'.

I really try to be a good friend, I always try my hardest to be as kind and honest and open as I can.

I have friends outside of SF, but I don't have any to eat lunch with, go on school trips with etc. I'm just alone.

I do have health issues; I am thinking they might have all left because they thought I was a burden on them or something? I don't really want to notify any teachers that I don't have friends because frankly they're useless at dealing with things like this (I know from previous experience).

Any advice you can give on how to deal with this? I feel really lonely and trying to make other friends is very difficult as everyone has their already established friends group.

try to make friends or conversate with the people. theres not long till the end of yr 13 so it doesnt realy matter about friendships. focus on your work and yourself, friends might distract you from being successfull. message me if you want to speak about anything. x
Original post by mgi
But it is good that you have friends outside of SF. Can't you arrange to meet any of them at lunchtime or in the late afternoon.
Those people in your sixth form that you fell out with are no longer your friends.
It is good training for you if you ever go to uni!
Just enrich your after school/college life by connecting with your own friends and your interests and hobbies.
You are not in college for long are you?
Put on some headphones with your favourite music at lunchtimes/breaktimes and find a quiet place to relax and chill!
You want see these people again un 12-18months time so don't worry or beat yourself up about their attitudes! Being by yourself is better than having toxic "friends!

You're right. I am beginning to do that. I guess I just have to be comfortable in myself so that I can relax without the need for anyone else.
Original post by Thereturnsanaaxo
try to make friends or conversate with the people. theres not long till the end of yr 13 so it doesnt realy matter about friendships. focus on your work and yourself, friends might distract you from being successfull. message me if you want to speak about anything. x

Thanks, I will do.

I appreciate everyone who has offered me their help =)
Original post by Anonymous
So basically, I had a group of 3 friends. The first girl fell out with me because I called her out for lying to me, the second girl called me a slut and the third girl apparently 'felt sorry' for me but I wasn't 'fun' for her anymore, so she had to 'focus on her self'.

I really try to be a good friend, I always try my hardest to be as kind and honest and open as I can.

I have friends outside of SF, but I don't have any to eat lunch with, go on school trips with etc. I'm just alone.

I do have health issues; I am thinking they might have all left because they thought I was a burden on them or something? I don't really want to notify any teachers that I don't have friends because frankly they're useless at dealing with things like this (I know from previous experience).

Any advice you can give on how to deal with this? I feel really lonely and trying to make other friends is very difficult as everyone has their already established friends

These girls are obviously not your ‘friends for life’ to begin with. Sorry that each of them cut you off in their own way. Usually this happens before a big jump in your teenage life - going to 6th form or uni. Some people change. It’s not really anyone’s fault - apart from the one who called you a slut... that’s kinda out of order and down to interpretation 2bh so whatever she has labelled you as, is just her opinion - not fact!

I think you should stop trying - sounds like you’re trying too hard and too much.

It sucks when the friends you have aren’t in the same school or uni or job as you. I feel you. You’re not alone trust :smile:

i was the same same way for a few months in year 12 but eventually randomly reconnected with a few old buddies from Year 9! And it worked. We became a group. And the old girls who kinda drifted from me had also made new friends - and we all just sorta moved on I guess. I never looked back! I watched a lot of YouTube videos for video games and Kpop cuz I was just getting into Kpop. I would read or do studying at lunch or during free / study periods. I mean the most important thing right now is you cuz you never get 6th form back so use this isolation phase to your advantage and just study study study. Your education is your armour.

And eventually trust me, you’ll find your tribe.

Maybe get closer to people in your classes? You probably have team projects or have to work with someone for at least one of your subjects? Use that as an excuse to study during frees or study periods together. Or go round each other’s houses after school or on weekends. Try and find something you both have in common and use that to spur up conversations. Eventually the other person you’re trying to make friends with will come around. If not then move onto the next person.

2bh during our parents’ times they didn’t have mobile phones to keep them busy. So imagine their feeling of loneliness lol. They probably got lost in a comic or a book or did puzzles. I do a lot of puzzles to keep my head sane when I cba to talk to anyone @ lunch that’s also another idea.

if you find you’re not making friends as quickly as others, do not let it affect your confidence or self esteem. There is nothing wrong with you! You’re fine :smile: it’s just those girls were not your tribe to begin with probably. Their loss will be someone else’s gain.

Its only december so maybe come the new year, things will change. As exam period comes people would want to form study groups and that way you can make friends - just make sure people aren’t fully there just to use you and your smarts tho. Always have a guard up - but obvs don’t be paranoid lol.

Also feel free to PM me any time during these periods you feel lonely. Or if you need any other advice. I have been in your shoes and most likely loads of people have. Remember loenlines won’t kill you - it’ll just make you stronger .... it’s good that you have friends outside of school otherwise it would be more difficult. Make sure you make time for these people to discuss your worries with - hanging out with them on weekends will suppress the loneliness you’re feeling during the week :smile:
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
You're right. I am beginning to do that. I guess I just have to be comfortable in myself so that I can relax without the need for anyone else.


Yes, rspecially because year 13 ends in 6 months anyway. There is never any need to "beg" others to be your friend! If they did agree then the relationship would be based on disrespect anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I can message you, but I don't know who you are because you messages anonymously.


It’s ok dw message me ill send you my insta asw
Original post by 21ForEva
These girls are obviously not your ‘friends for life’ to begin with. Sorry that each of them cut you off in their own way. Usually this happens before a big jump in your teenage life - going to 6th form or uni. Some people change. It’s not really anyone’s fault - apart from the one who called you a slut... that’s kinda out of order and down to interpretation 2bh so whatever she has labelled you as, is just her opinion - not fact!

I think you should stop trying - sounds like you’re trying too hard and too much.

It sucks when the friends you have aren’t in the same school or uni or job as you. I feel you. You’re not alone trust :smile:

i was the same same way for a few months in year 12 but eventually randomly reconnected with a few old buddies from Year 9! And it worked. We became a group. And the old girls who kinda drifted from me had also made new friends - and we all just sorta moved on I guess. I never looked back! I watched a lot of YouTube videos for video games and Kpop cuz I was just getting into Kpop. I would read or do studying at lunch or during free / study periods. I mean the most important thing right now is you cuz you never get 6th form back so use this isolation phase to your advantage and just study study study. Your education is your armour.

And eventually trust me, you’ll find your tribe.

Maybe get closer to people in your classes? You probably have team projects or have to work with someone for at least one of your subjects? Use that as an excuse to study during frees or study periods together. Or go round each other’s houses after school or on weekends. Try and find something you both have in common and use that to spur up conversations. Eventually the other person you’re trying to make friends with will come around. If not then move onto the next person.

2bh during our parents’ times they didn’t have mobile phones to keep them busy. So imagine their feeling of loneliness lol. They probably got lost in a comic or a book or did puzzles. I do a lot of puzzles to keep my head sane when I cba to talk to anyone @ lunch that’s also another idea.

if you find you’re not making friends as quickly as others, do not let it affect your confidence or self esteem. There is nothing wrong with you! You’re fine :smile: it’s just those girls were not your tribe to begin with probably. Their loss will be someone else’s gain.

Its only december so maybe come the new year, things will change. As exam period comes people would want to form study groups and that way you can make friends - just make sure people aren’t fully there just to use you and your smarts tho. Always have a guard up - but obvs don’t be paranoid lol.

Also feel free to PM me any time during these periods you feel lonely. Or if you need any other advice. I have been in your shoes and most likely loads of people have. Remember loenlines won’t kill you - it’ll just make you stronger .... it’s good that you have friends outside of school otherwise it would be more difficult. Make sure you make time for these people to discuss your worries with - hanging out with them on weekends will suppress the loneliness you’re feeling during the week :smile:

Thanks for pointing out that I try too hard. Sometimes it's hard to notice when you are tbh. I just thought that I would be as nice as I could to whoever wanted to be a friend to me. I probably just need to chill out a bit lol.

Sure, I will PM you, thanks for offering =)
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for pointing out that I try too hard. Sometimes it's hard to notice when you are tbh. I just thought that I would be as nice as I could to whoever wanted to be a friend to me. I probably just need to chill out a bit lol.

Sure, I will PM you, thanks for offering =)

Yes, think about it: " begging for friends is disrespectful to yourself first ,and to them" It should be mutual voluntary choice!
Original post by mgi
Yes, think about it: " begging for friends is disrespectful to yourself first ,and to them" It should be mutual voluntary choice!

I wouldn't say I beg, I don't have such little self-respect. But, maybe I just try to change myself to match their interests more than I should. I should change myself less for others.

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