Should I forgive?
I found out my ex was cheating the whole time we were together (3 years).
It's been a year now since I blocked him but I can't seem to get past the things he did to me when he tries to get in touch with me. I end up telling him " you did that, you did this etc.."
Last week he called me from a different number telling me about some great news about his life and pretending that everything was ok between us. I wanted him to show remorse for what he did.
It feels like each time I talk to him, I want him to feel bad for what he did.
It made me upset.
It's been a year now since I blocked him but I can't seem to get past the things he did to me when he tries to get in touch with me. I end up telling him " you did that, you did this etc.."
Last week he called me from a different number telling me about some great news about his life and pretending that everything was ok between us. I wanted him to show remorse for what he did.
It feels like each time I talk to him, I want him to feel bad for what he did.
It made me upset.
Just ignore and block. If you're not willing to hire a hitman to kill him then why bother feeling sad if he isn't sorry? Just forget and move on.
Original post by CyproFenol
Just ignore and block. If you're not willing to hire a hitman to kill him then why bother feeling sad if he isn't sorry? Just forget and move on.
The thing is he did apologise in the past. It wasn't a proper apology but I wonder why I cannot accept it and forgive.
I get a hard time forgiving people even my closest family and I wonder sometimes if I'm wrong for not forgiving him. I don't have any feelings for him anymore but still feel hate towards him some days.
Normally I would completely say no since that person clearly didn’t respect you [shown by cheating - bottom of the barrel type of ****].
But you appear to want to talk to him? I don’t see why - maybe there are feelings still? Whatever it is, it’s not my business tbh. But before you start talking to him again, you need to ensure he apologises to you first. Have a serious talk with him about what happened and reach a resolution/conclusion about how to move forward, so you’re not longer holding the burden of the past.
But I would really reconsider rekindling a relationship/friendship with this person. Your relationship was toxic and they clearly left you w horrible memories, hence you can’t forget what he did... even as friends, are they are good for you? do you really wanna put yourself in a position to be hurt again?
But you appear to want to talk to him? I don’t see why - maybe there are feelings still? Whatever it is, it’s not my business tbh. But before you start talking to him again, you need to ensure he apologises to you first. Have a serious talk with him about what happened and reach a resolution/conclusion about how to move forward, so you’re not longer holding the burden of the past.
But I would really reconsider rekindling a relationship/friendship with this person. Your relationship was toxic and they clearly left you w horrible memories, hence you can’t forget what he did... even as friends, are they are good for you? do you really wanna put yourself in a position to be hurt again?
Original post by Anonymous
The thing is he did apologise in the past. It wasn't a proper apology but I wonder why I cannot accept it and forgive..
Just saw this ooos. So he has apologised. You don’t have to forgive him and sometimes our intuition is right when it makes us reluctant to forgive. Perhaps that’s a sign you shouldn’t let him back into ur life?
But also you seem to be unforgiving. Personally I would NEVER forgive anyone that’s cheated on me - so I understand in this situation. But the other cases [like family] indicate that you hold on to things and sometimes that leads to built up resentment, anger and frustration. I’d suggest letting it go and moving on, but being judicious with what you let back into your life.
Original post by Anonymous
Normally I would completely say no since that person clearly didn’t respect you [shown by cheating - bottom of the barrel type of ****].
But you appear to want to talk to him? I don’t see why - maybe there are feelings still? Whatever it is, it’s not my business tbh. But before you start talking to him again, you need to ensure he apologises to you first. Have a serious talk with him about what happened and reach a resolution/conclusion about how to move forward, so you’re not longer holding the burden of the past.
But I would really reconsider rekindling a relationship/friendship with this person. Your relationship was toxic and they clearly left you w horrible memories, hence you can’t forget what he did... even as friends, are they are good for you? do you really wanna put yourself in a position to be hurt again?
But you appear to want to talk to him? I don’t see why - maybe there are feelings still? Whatever it is, it’s not my business tbh. But before you start talking to him again, you need to ensure he apologises to you first. Have a serious talk with him about what happened and reach a resolution/conclusion about how to move forward, so you’re not longer holding the burden of the past.
But I would really reconsider rekindling a relationship/friendship with this person. Your relationship was toxic and they clearly left you w horrible memories, hence you can’t forget what he did... even as friends, are they are good for you? do you really wanna put yourself in a position to be hurt again?
I don't want to be friends with him or even talk to him.
I'm asking this question because I'm wondering if not forgiving him hurts me more. When I say forgiving, I mean forgiving from a distance.
And if so, how can I do that? I seem to feel hatred/disgust whenever I think of him.
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