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Why do i always ruin everything

So i have been single almost my whole life
Finally i met the man of my dream
Hes perfect, hes so nice and sweet and such a gentleman. and i did a stupid thing.

We would talk everyonce in a while and i love it because we are both busy and i hate a 24/7 texting or calling rules. Im not a teenager anymore, but i told him what i did. I went to bali and to feed his ego i told him i turned down several guys because i like him. He said i wouldnt of mine of you kissed them, dont forget to have fun. And i told him oh it was just me, ive always like that with everyone i like i feel its wrong making out with someone when i like someone else.

Now its been a couple of days and he hasnt even talked to me or asked me out yet. I ruined this, why? Im thinking about moving on now, I embarrassed ny self way tooo much already. I cant bare this, he probably never gonna talk to me anymore....
We all make mistakes - the most important thing as I'm sure you're aware, is to learn from them. I reckon you should fess up and admit that you didn't really get that attention with those guys, it was an attempt to make you jealous, but it backfired and you're really interested in him.

Don't do this over text - it would be way better if this comes from you properly, or ringing him. Be remorseful, but understand that if he was hurt too deeply and doesn't want to pursue things with you, then you understand and respect his choice.

It will take some guts but I'm sure you've got this in the bag :yep:
Reply 2
Why are you sitting around posting on here and waiting for him to contact you? Get in touch yourself.

Did you tell him about turning down people to boost his ego or to make yourself look more attractive? Never a good idea to put on an act; if it's not your usual character, you'll get caught out. If they don't like you for yourself, move on.
Original post by iceyyyy
So i have been single almost my whole life
Finally i met the man of my dream
Hes perfect, hes so nice and sweet and such a gentleman. and i did a stupid thing.

We would talk everyonce in a while and i love it because we are both busy and i hate a 24/7 texting or calling rules. Im not a teenager anymore, but i told him what i did. I went to bali and to feed his ego i told him i turned down several guys because i like him. He said i wouldnt of mine of you kissed them, dont forget to have fun. And i told him oh it was just me, ive always like that with everyone i like i feel its wrong making out with someone when i like someone else.

Now its been a couple of days and he hasnt even talked to me or asked me out yet. I ruined this, why? Im thinking about moving on now, I embarrassed ny self way tooo much already. I cant bare this, he probably never gonna talk to me anymore....

Talk to him, if you don't send a message then he may not get in touch, don't wait for him to message, he may think you've lost interest.
Reply 4
Original post by Surnia
Why are you sitting around posting on here and waiting for him to contact you? Get in touch yourself.

Did you tell him about turning down people to boost his ego or to make yourself look more attractive? Never a good idea to put on an act; if it's not your usual character, you'll get caught out. If they don't like you for yourself, move on.


I texted him once in a while too and made many efforts too. I didnt put an act he asked me how bali and how guys there and i told him and he told me there are no ways im not with a guy over there so i told him the story. So no its not an act. I thought telling that will boost his confidence because sometimes he feel like hes not that handsome or great or whatever.
Reply 5
Original post by yzanne
We all make mistakes - the most important thing as I'm sure you're aware, is to learn from them. I reckon you should fess up and admit that you didn't really get that attention with those guys, it was an attempt to make you jealous, but it backfired and you're really interested in him.

Don't do this over text - it would be way better if this comes from you properly, or ringing him. Be remorseful, but understand that if he was hurt too deeply and doesn't want to pursue things with you, then you understand and respect his choice.

It will take some guts but I'm sure you've got this in the bag :yep:


I dont know about calling too. Its not like we are in relationship he told me himself. He told me he wanted me to have fun and he told me we havent made a strong commitment yet so its okay. So i told him that too even tho i didnt really mean it. I screwed up big times. Always have been.
Original post by iceyyyy
I dont know about calling too. Its not like we are in relationship he told me himself. He told me he wanted me to have fun and he told me we havent made a strong commitment yet so its okay. So i told him that too even tho i didnt really mean it. I screwed up big times. Always have been.

Stop pissing around and tell him if you like him.
Original post by iceyyyy
I dont know about calling too. Its not like we are in relationship he told me himself. He told me he wanted me to have fun and he told me we havent made a strong commitment yet so its okay. So i told him that too even tho i didnt really mean it. I screwed up big times. Always have been.

Don't put yourself down because you make a mistake, and DO NOT define yourself because of it. It's not that big of deal in the big picture - you can resolve things and you have the opportunity to.

He probably said for you to have fun because he doesn't want to tie you down, not because he doesn't want you. So take him whilst you can ... he is your dream man isn't he! :smile:
Reply 8
Original post by Rock Fan
Stop pissing around and tell him if you like him.


I did. He told me he likes me too but ive never really had a relationship so idk what to expect or too feel. And, last time he had a serious relationship is like 4 years ago so hes also not good with the talk. I hate this idk what to do
Reply 9
Original post by yzanne
Don't put yourself down because you make a mistake, and DO NOT define yourself because of it. It's not that big of deal in the big picture - you can resolve things and you have the opportunity to.

He probably said for you to have fun because he doesn't want to tie you down, not because he doesn't want you. So take him whilst you can ... he is your dream man isn't he! :smile:


Yeah he is but he hasnt even talked to me. I texted him first the last time so we usually take turns to talk to each other. And now i said something wrong and he wont talk to me anymore. I should probably just forget it
Is it just me that can’t see the mistake you made?
I mean did you do something in Bali?
Original post by Anonymous
Is it just me that can’t see the mistake you made?
I mean did you do something in Bali?

the guys never hit on her, she made it up to make him jealous
Original post by iceyyyy
Yeah he is but he hasnt even talked to me. I texted him first the last time so we usually take turns to talk to each other. And now i said something wrong and he wont talk to me anymore. I should probably just forget it

You can't just give up on people that you care about! Just because he feels upset you can't just walk away from the situation - if you really liked him that much you would want him to stay no matter what.

YOU need to ring him and make it right, he'll appreciate your thought. It's not about structure or 'who texted last' .... seems harsh but that is a little childish of an approach.
Original post by yzanne
the guys never hit on her, she made it up to make him jealous


Ohhhh okay thanks😂
Reply 14
Original post by iceyyyy
I texted him once in a while too and made many efforts too. I didnt put an act he asked me how bali and how guys there and i told him and he told me there are no ways im not with a guy over there so i told him the story. So no its not an act. I thought telling that will boost his confidence because sometimes he feel like hes not that handsome or great or whatever.

Misunderstanding: you said you told him to 'feed his ego', so it sounded like something you'd just come out with to big things up.

You've texted him 'once in a while', so why not make contact now? People do have other commitments, so you don't know if you're reading too much into this and you're stressing over it. Take control.
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 15
Original post by yzanne
the guys never hit on her, she made it up to make him jealous


They did hit me up. Some of them almost take my clothes off and forced me to do it bc theyre that drunk. It wasnt a lie its a true story....
Reply 16
Original post by Rock Fan
And why would you lie about guys hitting on you in Bali, that's so stupid, if you want someone just be honest, no need to lie and play games. I get that you are inexperienced but that is one way to blow it all.


What the heck are you talking about?
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
Is it just me that can’t see the mistake you made?
I mean did you do something in Bali?


Nope never did. Several guys from different friend group and total strangers hit on me and touched me and stuff and i refused. I said that too him to feed his ego kind off idk why tho. I guess im stupid and just wanna know what he would say or is he really like me. I was stupid wasnt i
Original post by iceyyyy
Nope never did. Several guys from different friend group and total strangers hit on me and touched me and stuff and i refused. I said that too him to feed his ego kind off idk why tho. I guess im stupid and just wanna know what he would say or is he really like me. I was stupid wasnt i


I don’t think you made any mistake at all. If he doesn’t contact you just because of then he is the dumb one
Original post by iceyyyy
I guess im stupid and just wanna know what he would say or is he really like me. I was stupid wasnt i

Here's the bottom line.

You can choose to take my advice or don't because obviously it's your situation, but you really need to stop feeling sorry for yourself when there is a clear solution. Nothing has even happened yet - he hasn't called or texted you to confront you about it, and he might just be busy!

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