Feeling down

I posted before about this but i just am still feeling down. Basically Ive failed my theory test twice now i got 40 out 50 on the multiple choice and 65 out of 75 on the hazard first time then i got 41 out of 50 and 65 on the hazard this time. Its twice now i have something wrong with me i was revising everyday, i dont know whats up with me i think im just a complete dumbo.
I have barely anything good about myself, i got kicked off a construction course at college i did it (after like 3 days), at school i wanted an aprentiship training to be a car mechanic (didnt get it), obviously failed the theory test twice, i failed my gcses, i dont have a girlfriend (never have), im in college just on this course that dumbos like me go on it is the lowest course in the college it is a speical needs course basically its the only one ill get on and can only just about stay on i got a letter saying my attendance is low due to that ill be withdrawn from the course if i dont improve. Im just a dumbo who cant do anything and whos going to end up working in somewhere like mcdonalds (low end job) if i even do that. Everyone else has jobs and im 18 just here doing this course failing my theory tests. People younger than me have pass their driving test and ive failed the theory and im still getting the bus. I just like cars so much and cant just give up but it might just be i cant pass the theory my instructor said my driving is near test level. I just wouldnt be able to take not being able to drive it will make me so down and it will ruin my future i hate public transport so much i would be so down having just live with that and not being able to drive. Id just feel so embarassed i already do feel embarassed but when im older it will be worse. I just want to pass the theory and then i can focus on my pratical i want to pass it soon as well because i just dont know anything good about myself atm but if i passed it would help me feel better. Can anyone cheer me up or does anyone have advice?

The theory test is important to to so much though and ive failed twice. Its hard to not to compare myself to others because i see people just working showing off their jobs, doing well, driving and im just failing. I have not seen my GP. 18 is pretty old because im an adult now times going fast soon ill be 20 plus and still be like this or maybe have a dead end job that is putting me down and ill be on for the rest of my life it will be that or ill be at like i am now at 20 because its soon im 19 in 2020 which is very very close then it will be 20 in 2021 doing this college course no driving licence and everyone is going to overtake me.

Hold on a second, you're getting way ahead of yourself!

Life is not a race. Don't look to what other people are doing and berate yourself for not doing the same thing. You are not them. You are you. Focus on yourself and not tripping over your own feet first. You are only getting in your own way though. Really. I mean that. Work on your mental health first, work on getting your body healthy. Eat enough and a variety of food, drink enough water, sleep enough. Exercise moderately. All important. It will help you with any courses you want to go on. And your furture.

I understand that this theory test is important to you, but really, you can take it again when you are ready. Try not to beat yourself up about things that have already happened and you cannot change, look forward and what you can do to improve things - first things first, go to your GP and get help for your mood and anxiety issues.

Also, loads of people don't have driving licenses or learn to drive when they're waaay older than you are even. You've got time.

I just want to pass soon i cant take not being able to drive i feel embarassed people younger than me have passed. People arent taking lessons but they feel confident about themselves and arent into cars as much as me. If i do everything lne thing as a time its just slow and im going to end up getting my find job at like 28.

You are right im not them they are doing well suceeding and i am me who is a dumbo who is failing in life.

I mean I know a lot of people who passed in their mid 20s and even people who haven't started driving yet. Really, not everything will be as bad as your brain is telling you it will be. Try not to make judgements on things you haven't even gotten to yet (like the job). Not everything hinges on you passing this before being 20.



Try and be kinder to yourself. Would you talk to a friend this way? No? Don't talk to yourself this way. You deserve patience and kindness from yourself.

For context, I haven't learnt to drive. I am 25 due to health issues I am not allowed to drive. I also don't have a job (because of health issues). We are all on our own paths. No one has the same journey in life. Try not to focus on other people because you'll get lost and it'll be hard to find your way back.

But yes, get to your GP. They will be able to offer support.

I try to speak to friend but they are busy coz like i say they are doing better than me so they are busy working there good jobs. My driving is everything to me it is just important because it is also a qualification so employers like it, i like cars so much and im just anxious getting public transport it will just put down doing it my whole life its embarassing to me it might not be to you and other people. I dont want to see my gp.

Sigh. Well. Carry on doing what you're doing but don't be surprised when nothing changes.

And no, I genuinely don't see why not passing would be embarrassing. Loads of people flop on their theory or practical, if people judge negatively you for it then good riddance to them tbh. Figure out where you're going wrong and work at it. Your marks have stayed consistent. Why is that?

And yeah, well. If you have anxiety that is impacting your ability to function and do regular day to day things like use public transport, then you've only got a few options if you don't want to seek professional help. Which is valid. But I'm not sure you're in the right mind space to work at self development on your own.

Good luck in your endeavours