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had sex with a girl who already had a boyfriend (feel guilty)

last night I slept with a girl at uni who had a boyfriend back home and when she told me after I felt really guilty I asked her does her boyfriend ever find out and she said no I make sure he never does and she gave it what he doesn't know wont hurt I feel like telling him myself but I don't know she said she had already slept with a couple guys while at uni, shes offered to have sex with me again and keeps messaging me to come over, what do I do?

Reply 1

username5010754

13

Original post by Anonymous

last night I slept with a girl at uni who had a boyfriend back home and when she told me after I felt really guilty I asked her does her boyfriend ever find out and she said no I make sure he never does and she gave it what he doesn't know wont hurt I feel like telling him myself but I don't know she said she had already slept with a couple guys while at uni, shes offered to have sex with me again and keeps messaging me to come over, what do I do?

You clearly have good morals while she doesn’t. Stay away, you deserve a girl who can give you her all not just see you on the side.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Kryptonitekid43

You clearly have good morals while she doesn’t. Stay away, you deserve a girl who can give you her all not just see you on the side.

yeah I cant bring myself to sleep with her again, if she was single I would be in there as she's hot but I feel to guilty with her having a boyfriend, I don't understand why she is still in relationship if she keeps doing this

Reply 3

username5010754

13

Original post by Anonymous

yeah I cant bring myself to sleep with her again, if she was single I would be in there as she's hot but I feel to guilty with her having a boyfriend, I don't understand why she is still in relationship if she keeps doing this

She’s got issue for sure, you’re making the right decision by staying away.

Reply 4

AsadBloke

4

'I make sure he never does what he doesn't know won't hurt'
'She said she had already slept with a couple guys while at uni'
'Shes offered to have sex with me again and keeps messaging me to come over'

Lol loyality means jack sh1t to her. Her boyfriend sure is a lucky fella lol.

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

16

What should you do? Do whatever you think is best.

If she were someone that I liked as a person, I'd make love with her again. And do it as well as I possibly could. Whilst treating her with respect and consideration outside of the bedroom too. In that way I'd be creating the best chance that she would dump her back home boyfriend and be not particularly interested in dating other men at uni.

She's a teenager at uni. I think she should be given free reign to try a few men on for size. That she should be allowed to experiment a bit - when it comes to men and sex and relationships.

I'd also keep a highly realistic perspective on the chances of her going on to sleep with more men.
That's fine. I might even gently encourage her to do so. For her own good and her own development as a person.

Reply 6

username5027880

20

Well done for having morals.
Quite a rarity in this day and age.

Reply 7

Adriennesls

3

Please let him know & provide evidence. He deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know?

Reply 8

fallen_acorns

20

Go on her Facebook, find her boyfriend and message him, with proof. (Her messages)

Better the poor guy finds out now.

I’m not sure I was mature and moral enough to do it back then.. if she was hot I’d have probably just carried on, but maybe you can be a better person than that

You have nothing to feel guilty for, you didn’t know. But if you do keep doing it with her then you Have some of the responsibility

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 9

karl pilkington

20

did she let you nut in her?

Reply 10

Dunnig Kruger

16

Going ahead and telling the boyfriend will - probably - create 2 enemies for life.

She will hate you for going behind her back and revealing something she didn't want you to reveal.

The back home boyfriend will hate you for sleeping with his girlfriend / stealing his girl. Which may not be a logical thing for him to do, but that's the emotional response he's likely to have.

Surely it's better to gently guilt her into doing the right thing which would be for her to either tell her back home boyfriend what she's been up to or for her to inform him that he is no longer her boyfriend?

Don't feel bad. She made the choice to cheat on him (repeatedly) and you didn't know any better.

Don't tell the boyfriend. This is already bound to blow up one day without you needing to be a catalyst. Leave them to their relationship issues.

You're better off cutting contact with her rather than getting further entangled in her mess by continuing to sleep with her.

Reply 12

mgi

20

Original post by Anonymous

last night I slept with a girl at uni who had a boyfriend back home and when she told me after I felt really guilty I asked her does her boyfriend ever find out and she said no I make sure he never does and she gave it what he doesn't know wont hurt I feel like telling him myself but I don't know she said she had already slept with a couple guys while at uni, shes offered to have sex with me again and keeps messaging me to come over, what do I do?

Go over. She has ditched her bf anyway. It's her choice. She has been open with you. It is not your problem. If she wants you then you can choose if you want to have sex with her or not. You are consenting adults.

Reply 13

CameronWS

15

Original post by Anonymous

last night I slept with a girl at uni who had a boyfriend back home and when she told me after I felt really guilty I asked her does her boyfriend ever find out and she said no I make sure he never does and she gave it what he doesn't know wont hurt I feel like telling him myself but I don't know she said she had already slept with a couple guys while at uni, shes offered to have sex with me again and keeps messaging me to come over, what do I do?

Say you're coming over, text her boyfriend that you saw something going on (a guy entering her flat etc). Tell him to go over. Then just see how it plays out.

Reply 14

mgi

20

Original post by Kryptonitekid43

You clearly have good morals while she doesn’t. Stay away, you deserve a girl who can give you her all not just see you on the side.

No. It could be that he is happy to on the side and having sex with her!? Its what she wants as well! Do you know any guys who are willing to be honest with you on this particular situation? I think most would take the sex!

Reply 15

mgi

20

Original post by Kryptonitekid43

She’s got issue for sure, you’re making the right decision by staying away.

Original post by Anonymous

yeah I cant bring myself to sleep with her again, if she was single I would be in there as she's hot but I feel to guilty with her having a boyfriend, I don't understand why she is still in relationship if she keeps doing this

She does it because she likes sex and experimenting and she is not that into her bf! Why did she mention her bf in the first place? and after she had sex with you? she knew there was a chance she would be judged that's why she didn't tell you initially.

Reply 16

MysticImogen

15

How do you randomly have sex with someone?

Reply 17

mgi

20

Original post by Adriennesls

Please let him know & provide evidence. He deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know?

Not the point. The bf is not his business.

Reply 18

mgi

20

Original post by CameronWS

Say you're coming over, text her boyfriend that you saw something going on (a guy entering her flat etc). Tell him to go over. Then just see how it plays out.