Rough sex?

My new girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now.
We started having sex since we entered the 2nd month of our relationship.
Now the only problem lies with my attitude towards my girlfriend during sex.

Shes adorable and has the most innocent looking big doe eyes.
Just looking into them while we do it makes me lose control and at that time I feel like destroying her V.
I did it once last week and she was so sore that she couldn't even walk properly and kept clutching her lower abdomen.
She never tells me about pain but I can tell by her face that she was in pain.

I felt so horrible that I didnt touch her for a week. She claims she is fine with me being aggressive if that's what makes me happy and even offered to be a sub.

Shes naturally submissive with me but I hate that she goes through pain.
What can I do in this case?
How do I control myself?

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Reply 1

Kt72

I find it extremely worrying that your girlfriend doesn't feel like she can tell when she's in pain. You need to make her feel safe and loved so that you can both be open and honest with eachother. Communication is the basis of any healthy relationship. You will find that it also greatly improves your sex life

Reply 2

HoldThisL

by controlling yourself; is it really that hard to just have more normal sex?

Reply 3

Wired_1800

You need to see a counsellor.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Wired_1800

You need to see a counsellor.

Why

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by HoldThisL

by controlling yourself; is it really that hard to just have more normal sex?

It's not hard. We start out normally but she gives me her look and I just feel like going crazy on her

Reply 6

Wired_1800

I think you have issues.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kt72

Shes like that sadly. We had a few hiccups before we dated and I was immature. But I think that experience is embedded in her mind so shes always doing what I say, always caters to me and does everything for me etc.
Shes also rarely argumentative with me and never replies back. In short, she has a very subdued demeanor with me.
A mutual friend told me that shes probably somewhat scared of me because I come across as aggressive and dominating to her :frown:

I mean I'm cocky at times and I was egotistical towards her before but now I'm not :frown:

Reply 8

hhhhhhhwusjs

Talk to her calmly. Tell her you love her and that you'd never want to see her upset/hurt. Do this spontaneously, she'll love it even more.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kt72

We have a great relationship though. I ve been very gentle to her throughout but I do notice that she does have some sort of fear :frown:

I remember she couldn't keep up with my eye contact a couple of years back. If I kept staring into her face/eyes, she would make eye contact for a while then quickly look away.
She doesnt do that now during sex but if I just randomly stare at her , she still does that.

Reply 10

CTLeafez

Who said romance was dead...? 😅

But seriously, communicate with her. If she’s not telling you she’s in pain, bring up the topic with her and maybe then she’ll say something.

You could try going more gentle next time and asking if she prefers that.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by hhhhhhhwusjs

Talk to her calmly. Tell her you love her and that you'd never want to see her upset/hurt. Do this spontaneously, she'll love it even more.

I'm going that even more now. Hoping she comes around. I'm sure she thinks if she tells me shes in pain, I ll get mad.
I have done this before but when we weren't dating. She said something or didnt do something I wanted her to do and we had lot of confusion with me being a brat.
I'm sure she still feels I'll react like I used to :frown:

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by CTLeafez

Romance was dead?

Reply 13

CTLeafez

I’m saying your comment about her having lovely eyes and then you wanting to ‘destroy her V’ as a result isn’t particularly romantic or subtle 😂

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by CTLeafez

I’m saying your comment about her having lovely eyes and then you wanting to ‘destroy her V’ as a result isn’t particularly romantic or subtle 😂

But why do you think its romantic or subtle? Does it come across as aggressive?

Reply 15

hhhhhhhwusjs

Well bro you gotta show her that you will not react like you used to. That's it. Make her feel like she can be herself around you

Reply 16

CTLeafez

It comes across as funnily blunt 😅 I’m just making a joke, don’t take it too seriously

Reply 17

kanako231

You should dump your girlfriend to protect her from potentially being inconceivable.

Reply 18

Kt72

The more you write, the more scared I get for this poor girl. I can only hope that this is fake and you're just looking for attention

Reply 19

PurpleBanshee_.

if she doesn't feel comfortable telling you the pain then you shouldn't be having sex. sex is built on trust and love and I don't really think those two things are that high after two months (They could be though). But I think you should spend time just loving her and making her feel completely safe and comfortable around you before you have sex and especially before she becomes a sub. As a lover of bdsm, I know how hard it is to introduce that into somebodys life... if she can't tell you small things then you guys definitely aren't ready. Also might I add that you should be telling her this, not us on the tsr!!!!