I am homophobic

Original post by Anonymous

She's even held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me when my mum disobeys her. All this has made me really homophobic. I KNOW this could happen in a heterosexual marriage too, and it often does, but my brain can't seem to fully register that. How do I get over these feelings, as I know they are not right or justified?

You report the incident to the Police, then get a restraining order. You already know, logically, that this evil is the person, and not their sexuality.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

"oversized parasite" Have you considered writing as a career?

Reply 4

username1539513

Original post by Anonymous

Bit of a shock title, sorry. Basically I was raised by two women (my mother, and an oversized parasite). All my life I have wanted nothing more than to have a 'normal' family. A mother and a father who were married. I wanted to celebrate Christmas and fathers day and all that happy family stuff. my mother's partner is extremely abusive and controls all the finances and makes my mum beg to get some money to buy almond milk (she doesn't like cow's milk) sometimes she'll allow it, but if we have got on her nerves, she won't. She's power crazy. She's even held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me when my mum disobeys her. All this has made me really homophobic. I KNOW this could happen in a heterosexual marriage too, and it often does, but my brain can't seem to fully register that. How do I get over these feelings, as I know they are not right or justified?

Having an aversion to death threats, power games and controlling behaviour doesn’t make you a homophobe. If you assumed every lesbian will behave the same way that’s homophobic.

Reply 5

OP

Original post by Ciel.

an obvious troll is obvious. boo, how boring.

I actually find that extremely hurtful.

Reply 6

Original post by Anonymous

I actually find that extremely hurtful.

sure you do.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Ciel.

an obvious troll is obvious. boo, how boring.

This is really not helpful. Some of your own threads come across as attempts at trolling. Not sure you are in a position to be making a post like this.

Reply 8

why would i waste my time helping a liar? the fact that you're hiding behind anon is a dead giveaway.

Reply 9

Justvisited

19

Original post by RogerOxon

You report the incident to the Police, then get a restraining order. You already know, logically, that this evil is the person, and not their sexuality.

You also have to ask yourself why the OP's mum hasn't done that of her own accord; and whether she would have been as negligent if it had been the OP's father, or any other man living with the mother, who had been threatening the child like that.

In other words, you need to look beneath the surface, and ask if the 'sexuality' is in effect a proxy for a situation where this kind of abuse is more likely to occur unchecked.

Reply 10

OP

Original post by Ciel.

why would i waste my time helping a liar? the fact that you're hiding behind anon is a dead giveaway.

I have nothing to prove to you. I have come here for help, and even writing about this stuff is really hard for me. Why would you purposely write something that could really hurt someone. Even if you think the post is fake, you don't know for sure, so while writing that you know there is a chance you are being extremely mean to someone who has been through a lot. ALSO what kind of sad, pathetic loser would make something like this up??? Trust me for trying to get help from stranger. Mistake.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Her behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian tho...

Reply 12

Original post by Anonymous

I have nothing to prove to you. I have come here for help, and even writing about this stuff is really hard for me. Why would you purposely write something that could really hurt someone. Even if you think the post is fake, you don't know for sure, so while writing that you know there is a chance you are being extremely mean to someone who has been through a lot. ALSO what kind of sad, pathetic loser would make something like this up??? Trust me for trying to get help from stranger. Mistake.

fine, assuming it's all true - what sort of advice do you expect? sure, she sounds like a complete *****. but the only thing you can do, is move out as soon as you can. there's nothing else anyone on here can suggest.

Reply 13

OP

Original post by Justvisited

You also have to ask yourself why the OP's mum hasn't done that of her own accord; and whether she would have been as negligent if it had been the OP's father, or any other man living with the mother, who had been threatening the child like that.

In other words, you need to look beneath the surface, and ask if the 'sexuality' is in effect a proxy for a situation where this kind of abuse is more likely to occur unchecked.

My mother is scared. That's what abuse does to someone after 30 odd years. We've been to many lawyers about getting my mum's property and money back, but she always backs out at the last minute. Now, any mention of it and she becomes hysterical and says it will be the death of her. I'm at a complete loss as of what to do

Reply 14

OP

Original post by Ciel.

fine, assuming it's all true - what sort of advice do you expect? sure, she sounds like a complete *****. but the only thing you can do, is move out as soon as you can. there's nothing else anyone on here can suggest.

I have moved out 2 years ago, but I still have 2 siblings at home

You need therapy.

Talk to social workers who can get her investigated for abuse. About the homophobic concerns I wouldn't worry yourself about that, you're enduring something abusive and that's what is creating those unhealthy feelings.

Reply 17

OP

Original post by Tonic Water

You need therapy.

Ouch. But also probably true

Reply 18

Chloef196011

7

Get over it.Your mother is just a terrible person it seems, and in no way represents what the LGBTQ community is really like, or what most same-sex parent families are like.She is just a terrible person who happen to be gay, that has no bearing on what gay people are really like.Same could be said for straight couples.If you had a mother and a father and they were abusive to you, it has nothing to do with their sexuality.

pls don't be homophobic :-)))))

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 19