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Why was this guy so intent on bringing me down?

This guy from tinder, he wasn't the best looking but I didn't want to be shallow. He was very rude to me most of the time, putting me down, blocking and unblocking me, one time we agreed to meet and then he said "don't bother!". *The only reason why I didn't delete or block him is because sometimes he was nice, or would compliment my body, or would listen to me on the phone if I was venting.* I guess I just focused on those nice moments. He was also obsessively asking to meet up without giving up. He said something I didn't like and refused to apologise and I
told him I didn't want to meet because of that, he still sent me another message asking to meet. Then he tried to guilt trip me a few months later and then when I went to meet him he was looking at me like I was dirt and stood there stiff didn't return my hug very cold and standoffish (*I'll mention I've met up with 10 guys off dating apps with no problems and with positive responses so I did look like my pics*). He also angrily told me to come up the stairs.

For some background I'm considered a conventionally pretty girl and a lot of people compliment me and I've also had a lot of guys interested in me. He clearly did not find me attractive because he never complimented my face, one time I told him "you never talk about my face or call me pretty" when he complimented my body and he said "your face is a part of your body isn't it?". And that's okay if he didn't find me attractive but why pursue me then? It just seemed like he was intent on making me feel bad most of the time.

Also, he never had a picture of his face up on WhatsApp and he rarely showed his face on Snapchat snaps and stories.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
This guy from tinder, he wasn't the best looking but I didn't want to be shallow. He was very rude to me most of the time, putting me down, blocking and unblocking me, one time we agreed to meet and then he said "don't bother!". *The only reason why I didn't delete or block him is because sometimes he was nice, or would compliment my body, or would listen to me on the phone if I was venting.* I guess I just focused on those nice moments. He was also obsessively asking to meet up without giving up. He said something I didn't like and refused to apologise and I
told him I didn't want to meet because of that, he still sent me another message asking to meet. Then he tried to guilt trip me a few months later and then when I went to meet him he was looking at me like I was dirt and stood there stiff didn't return my hug very cold and standoffish (*I'll mention I've met up with 10 guys off dating apps with no problems and with positive responses so I did look like my pics*). He also angrily told me to come up the stairs.

For some background I'm considered a conventionally pretty girl and a lot of people compliment me and I've also had a lot of guys interested in me. He clearly did not find me attractive because he never complimented my face, one time I told him "you never talk about my face or call me pretty" when he complimented my body and he said "your face is a part of your body isn't it?". And that's okay if he didn't find me attractive but why pursue me then? It just seemed like he was intent on making me feel bad most of the time.

Also, he never had a picture of his face up on WhatsApp and he rarely showed his face on Snapchat snaps and stories.


Yeh that seems really shady.
(edited 4 years ago)
He sounds like he has a lot of insecurities. Red flag is never wanting to show his face - shows that he doesn't like his looks. My guess is he's an abusive guy who likes to mess with girls egos as he gets some satisfaction from this.

Probably has been burnt by girls in the past because of his looks and has a vendetta against all women. I bet you're not the only girl he's done this to.
He seems to maybe be insecure
I feel like he had an inkling that you were never that into him and wanted to punish you for it.
classic little-man incel behaviour

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