Getting back with my Ex

Me and my ex split up in sixth form in early 2017, and following on from this I became quite isolated as we were part of the same group of friends and I didn't want to be around him all of the time.
Since this, we have both had other relationships and they have both ended with other people. We started talking again last October and I feel like there's still something there. we've gone out for drinks a couple of times, and I'm having a really good time. Is it possible for people to change and grow up, or am I just kidding myself that maybe this time it could work?

Reply 1

StriderHort

21

Dunno, that's a choice you can only make yourself, most people will just say 'no, you broke up for a reason'. It's easy to spend time with an ex and remember the good times, because there's no pressure to remember any of the bad...unless you try getting back together, in which case it all suddenly matters again.

People can and do change, but generally not quickly, or without being pushed somehow....and they lie a lot.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by StriderHort

Dunno, that's a choice you can only make yourself, most people will just say 'no, you broke up for a reason'. It's easy to spend time with an ex and remember the good times, because there's no pressure to remember any of the bad...unless you try getting back together, in which case it all suddenly matters again.

People can and do change, but generally not quickly, or without being pushed somehow....and they lie a lot.

we've been talking about the bad stuff, and the reasons why we broke up in the first place because I feel like it's important to hash those out before anything progresses really. I feel like maybe time is an important factor as people can only pretend for so long?

Reply 3

rebeccaxrss

15

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my ex split up in sixth form in early 2017, and following on from this I became quite isolated as we were part of the same group of friends and I didn't want to be around him all of the time.
Since this, we have both had other relationships and they have both ended with other people. We started talking again last October and I feel like there's still something there. we've gone out for drinks a couple of times, and I'm having a really good time. Is it possible for people to change and grow up, or am I just kidding myself that maybe this time it could work?

she's your ex for a reason

Go for it.

Your situation is different from most "should I get back with my ex?" threads. It's been a few years so it could play out very differently.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sinfonietta

Go for it.

Your situation is different from most "should I get back with my ex?" threads. It's been a few years so it could play out very differently

This is what I'm thinking. We've both had chance to grow up and become who we are without the influence of one another and yet there's still a spark

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by rebeccaxrss

she's your ex for a reason

I've heard this a lot and to a degree I agree, but people change and grow up, especially when you leave school and go into the outside world, do you not think?

Reply 7

StriderHort

21

Original post by Anonymous

I've heard this a lot and to a degree I agree, but people change and grow up, especially when you leave school and go into the outside world, do you not think?

Yeah I told you someone would say that. :tongue:

There's a glib truth to it, but it completely ignores that you can back together for a reason as well. But as said, only you can really be the judge of what that is.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by StriderHort

Yeah I told you someone would say that. :tongue:

There's a glib truth to it, but it completely ignores that you can back together for a reason as well. But as said, only you can really be the judge of what that is.

I suppose it's knowing why things didn't work out in the first place, and they were all kind of age related issues in a lot of respects, and I feel like a lot of those issues don't exist now we aren't in school

Reply 9

CaramelCoco

3

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my ex split up in sixth form in early 2017, and following on from this I became quite isolated as we were part of the same group of friends and I didn't want to be around him all of the time.
Since this, we have both had other relationships and they have both ended with other people. We started talking again last October and I feel like there's still something there. we've gone out for drinks a couple of times, and I'm having a really good time. Is it possible for people to change and grow up, or am I just kidding myself that maybe this time it could work?

I'm biased, but people definitely do change. I also don't know why you two broke up, it could have been something trivial or something more serious, but either way try it, if you feel like it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my ex split up in sixth form in early 2017, and following on from this I became quite isolated as we were part of the same group of friends and I didn't want to be around him all of the time.
Since this, we have both had other relationships and they have both ended with other people. We started talking again last October and I feel like there's still something there. we've gone out for drinks a couple of times, and I'm having a really good time. Is it possible for people to change and grow up, or am I just kidding myself that maybe this time it could work?

If you haven’t got the intention of getting married, leave it because it will end in heartbreak.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by CaramelCoco

I'm biased, but people definitely do change. I also don't know why you two broke up, it could have been something trivial or something more serious, but either way try it, if you feel like it.

It was a mix, it felt serious then but looking back it's so trivial which is why I put it down to being so young. Things have changed so much since everything happened

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

If you haven’t got the intention of getting married, leave it because it will end in heartbreak.

What do you mean?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

If you haven’t got the intention of getting married, leave it because it will end in heartbreak.

What do you mean?

Reply 14

CaramelCoco

3

Original post by Anonymous

What do you mean?

By that logic, you shouldn't date anybody if you don't plan on marrying them...

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

What do you mean?

There has to be an end goal, if there isn’t you don’t have any direction

Reply 16

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by Anonymous

Me and my ex split up in sixth form in early 2017, and following on from this I became quite isolated as we were part of the same group of friends and I didn't want to be around him all of the time.
Since this, we have both had other relationships and they have both ended with other people. We started talking again last October and I feel like there's still something there. we've gone out for drinks a couple of times, and I'm having a really good time. Is it possible for people to change and grow up, or am I just kidding myself that maybe this time it could work?

At your age, people change so much and grow up a whole lot. If you feel like things are different and you're able to maturely communicate to each other then give it a go.