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Bf went to girls house he dated b4 me to return her things at 11.30pm

My boyfriend went to a girls how he dated for a while at midnight to return her belongings.

So I found a uber receipt on my bf email account going to a girls that he dated for a bit before me. I asked him about it as I was absolute mortified. He said that he went to her house to return her belongings and just close the door for good, As he wanted to be with me.
The event of that eve:
He was out drinking with his friends afterwork and didnt get home till 11.30pm. He said he had planned to meet her earlier but got carried away with the drinks. She apparently was waiting for him in her car outside his house and then got fed up and drove home. When he got in he messaged me asking how my eve was but then took an uber to her house. I've asked him many time if he had slept with her etc and he said he didnt. When he got to hers, they got in her car, he made her drive towards his house as he didnt want to pay for another uber. They spoke, as he hadn't seen her for a while as she had been travelling. He returned her belongings to close the door on her etc and said he didnt want to see her no more. He said she started crying in the car and remembered him feeling really bad for her. He then got out her car and walked home. I just dont get why he had to see her that late at night, but he said he was planning to see her earlier but got late cos of the drinks and that he just wanted to get it all out the way.
I want to believe him but I still have doubts... what do you guys think?
Nothing seems wrong with the story.

A lot of people after a few drinks are adamant to do the things they said they would when sober, even if it's not a particularly good idea in the moment.
I think that you don't trust your bf and this will cause negative issues in the relationship.
Regardless of everything to do with his ex.
Reply 3
Original post by sinfonietta
Nothing seems wrong with the story.

A lot of people after a few drinks are adamant to do the things they said they would when sober, even if it's not a particularly good idea in the moment.

Thank you. He is the type of guy to do that. Like a man of his word type of person. But I still cant believe he thought it was appropriate to go to her house that late.

Having said that, 2 days before this happened he actually asked me if I had locked everyone off as he really liked me. I said there is no one else and he said the same thing. Then 2 days later this happens...

I wouldn't have minded had he of told me, but its upsetting that I found out myself as he gave me access to his email for something.

What would you do in my shoes?
Original post by Sian88
Thank you. He is the type of guy to do that. Like a man of his word type of person. But I still cant believe he thought it was appropriate to go to her house that late.

Having said that, 2 days before this happened he actually asked me if I had locked everyone off as he really liked me. I said there is no one else and he said the same thing. Then 2 days later this happens...

I wouldn't have minded had he of told me, but its upsetting that I found out myself as he gave me access to his email for something.

What would you do in my shoes?


Sounds like the conversation was the trigger. You two had been talking about it so he made the effort to go and finally close the door on any further contact with this girl.

I'd believe him and put all discussion about it to bed.
Reply 5
Original post by londonmyst
I think that you don't trust your bf and this will cause negative issues in the relationship.
Regardless of everything to do with his ex.


Original post by sinfonietta
Sounds like the conversation was the trigger. You two had been talking about it so he made the effort to go and finally close the door on any further contact with this girl.

I'd believe him and put all discussion about it to bed.

Thsbk you. You're the only one that's given me positive advice everyone else I've asked on another forum have said its crystal clear and 100% lies and to walk away...
Reply 6
Original post by londonmyst
I think that you don't trust your bf and this will cause negative issues in the relationship.
Regardless of everything to do with his ex.

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate that. I've asked him a few times, once when he was drunk and once when he was sober to see if he slips up but he has said both times, that that's the truth. What would you do if you where in my shoes?
Original post by Sian88
Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate that. I've asked him a few times, once when he was drunk and once when he was sober to see if he slips up but he has said both times, that that's the truth. What would you do if you where in my shoes?

I would trust that he was being honest, unless I knew that he was in the habit of lying.
If I was dating a liar, I wouldn't trust him an inch or believe a word he said without a lot of proof.

That said, I only expect commitment and sexual exclusivity with marriage/civil partnership- not a bf, ons or fwb.
I'm not a fan of the widespread social attitude that confuses the roles, requirements and expectations of marriage with that of informal casual relationships.
I only expect a guy to "forsake all other" and act like a husband when he has made me: a marriage proposal, wedding vows, put a ring on my finger and signed the marriage certificate.
Original post by Sian88
My boyfriend went to a girls how he dated for a while at midnight to return her belongings.

So I found a uber receipt on my bf email account going to a girls that he dated for a bit before me. I asked him about it as I was absolute mortified. He said that he went to her house to return her belongings and just close the door for good, As he wanted to be with me.
The event of that eve:
He was out drinking with his friends afterwork and didnt get home till 11.30pm. He said he had planned to meet her earlier but got carried away with the drinks. She apparently was waiting for him in her car outside his house and then got fed up and drove home. When he got in he messaged me asking how my eve was but then took an uber to her house. I've asked him many time if he had slept with her etc and he said he didnt. When he got to hers, they got in her car, he made her drive towards his house as he didnt want to pay for another uber. They spoke, as he hadn't seen her for a while as she had been travelling. He returned her belongings to close the door on her etc and said he didnt want to see her no more. He said she started crying in the car and remembered him feeling really bad for her. He then got out her car and walked home. I just dont get why he had to see her that late at night, but he said he was planning to see her earlier but got late cos of the drinks and that he just wanted to get it all out the way.
I want to believe him but I still have doubts... what do you guys think?

Wow, so he goes out for drinks and gets an uber to her house at 11:30 pm

The answers on here are what you want, but trust your hunch and gut instinct.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Wow, so he goes out for drinks and gets an uber to her house at 11:30 pm

The answers on here are what you want, but trust your hunch and gut instinct.

My thoughts exactly. Seems very off.
Reply 10
Thank you LondonMyst. In honesty he

Original post by Anonymous
Wow, so he goes out for drinks and gets an uber to her house at 11:30 pm

The answers on here are what you want, but trust your hunch and gut instinct.

Thanks my gut is saying hes telling the truth but my only niggle is why at that time. He said he just wanted it over and done with. She had no idea they he was about to tell her he doesn't want to see her no more. He got an uber cos he was drunk, got into her car as her family were home. And asked her to drive back towards his way, where they parked up and that's when he said everything to her. He said she started to cry and he got out and walked home from there half drunk.

When I look back, 2 days before this happened he actually discussed with me about locking everyone off as he really likes me.
What were you doing going through his emails? This relationship is dead.
Reply 12
Original post by YaliaV
What were you doing going through his emails? This relationship is dead.

He actually gave me access to his email account himself. As he works on constructions sights he asks me to do all his contract paperwork and sort his pay skips out.
Original post by Sian88
Thank you LondonMyst. In honesty he


Thanks my gut is saying hes telling the truth but my only niggle is why at that time. He said he just wanted it over and done with. She had no idea they he was about to tell her he doesn't want to see her no more. He got an uber cos he was drunk, got into her car as her family were home. And asked her to drive back towards his way, where they parked up and that's when he said everything to her. He said she started to cry and he got out and walked home from there half drunk.

When I look back, 2 days before this happened he actually discussed with me about locking everyone off as he really likes me.

:burnout:
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
:burnout:

What would you do in my position?
I would go with my gut instinct, he went to see his ex at 11:30pm with drinks on him and only told you about it because you found a receipt for the uber.

If you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, I would understand as most people ignore what they know deep down and see and understand what they want to. Keep an eye on him, sounds like he went for a different type of closure so you can monitor it but it's just too suss. Also, why would she cry and be so hurt that he was ending it if she already knew it was over and he was with you - no need to answer that just think about it.

You deserve better, you deserve someone who doesn't do things that way and make you second guess them.
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
I would go with my gut instinct, he went to see his ex at 11:30pm with drinks on him and only told you about it because you found a receipt for the uber.

If you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, I would understand as most people ignore what they know deep down and see and understand what they want to. Keep an eye on him, sounds like he went for a different type of closure so you can monitor it but it's just too suss. Also, why would she cry and be so hurt that he was ending it if she already knew it was over and he was with you - no need to answer that just think about it.

You deserve better, you deserve someone who doesn't do things that way and make you second guess them.

Thank you.

No so what happened was he went for drinks with work lot. When he got home, that's when he got her things and taxied to hers.

She had no idea he was about to do this, hence why she mody probs agreed to drive back towards his way. It's when she pulled over is when they spoke and thats when he said all this to her. That's when she started to cry.
Original post by Sian88
Thank you.

No so what happened was he went for drinks with work lot. When he got home, that's when he got her things and taxied to hers.

She had no idea he was about to do this, hence why she mody probs agreed to drive back towards his way. It's when she pulled over is when they spoke and thats when he said all this to her. That's when she started to cry.

Do you honestly believe that story? Sorry, I'm not being rude.

If you believe him and trust it then just don't think about it any longer and leave it behind.

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