The Student Room Group

Emotional burnout ?

For the last 2 years, I ve been in absolute misery. I ve been emotionally distraught and severely depressed. But somehow I was continuing on with life and my studies. Now, I'm in my final year at university and I have reached a breaking point. I'm beginning to develop withdrawal symptoms where I feel extremely fed up, burned out and fatigued.

For the last 2 years at university, I have been extremely lonely. I went from having a great time and having several friends in early to mid 2017 to having 0 friends in 2020. That's because all the people I was friends with were on different courses who graduated and left. On my course, there were not more than 7-8 people and even those had already formed their cliques and would only treat me as an acquaintance.

I tried really hard to be outgoing and make friends but it failed. I had a horrible end to what could have been a beautiful relationship and this impacted me the most. I'm extremely heartbroken because of this. I also developed health issues and was diagnosed with bulging discs in my spinal cord. My grades have also declined and I went from being 78% on my short course and 68% in my first year to 58% in my 2and year. Currently, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up with a final 2.2 degree classification.

I feel like quitting university because my mental condition is worsening instead of improving. I no longer go to the university and have stopped studying. I just roam around here and there aimlessly.

I'm exhausted and I dont know what to do or how to cope. My life was just going perfectly until it hit a burner and everything just collapsed.
What do I do?
Reply 1
Even while walking the streets, I feel like I'm absent minded most of the time.
Reply 2
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Are you getting any support for your mental health? First step would be opening up to someone you trust or even going to your GP. Perhaps even going to your university's student support department could be an option.
Reply 3
Original post by Pathway
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Are you getting any support for your mental health? First step would be opening up to someone you trust or even going to your GP. Perhaps even going to your university's student support department could be an option.

I have been to the student support and spoken to my mom. Both proved to be unhelpful. My mom wants me to finish my degree and let things unfold on it's own. She believes good things are going to happen for me but I dont buy it. My current situation is atrocious and I'm struggling to get through it.
The student support didnt offer much help and said I should move on.
Hi,
I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm in my first year of university and I'm feeling the same way recently (now is the time where we are having mid sessional exams) but due to personal issues my exams are going to be affected because of deaths in the family that have prevented me from being able to revise. And that has also taken a toll on my mental health (I have anxiety).

I would recommend you speaking to your GP, speak to you parents speak to people in your lecture, tell them how you feel. Don't keep it bottled. Your GP may be able to refer you to a counsellor who will be able to help you.
I am very proud of you for getting so far... please do not give up now. YOU CAN DO IT!! You just need to get the right support from a professional to help you get through and you will smash your exams!

Please think about talking to someone. I would recommend start off talking to your GP or a trustworthy person in your life and they will be able to advise you and lead you to the right direction. I understand things seem impossible now but once you have reached out for support from the right people you will be okay.

I wish you all the best and remember that you are not alone x
Reply 5
Perhaps going to your GP might help? Alternatively there is the Mental Health Support Society on here or you can drop me a message if you want to. You're not alone.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm in my first year of university and I'm feeling the same way recently (now is the time where we are having mid sessional exams) but due to personal issues my exams are going to be affected because of deaths in the family that have prevented me from being able to revise. And that has also taken a toll on my mental health (I have anxiety).

I would recommend you speaking to your GP, speak to you parents speak to people in your lecture, tell them how you feel. Don't keep it bottled. Your GP may be able to refer you to a counsellor who will be able to help you.
I am very proud of you for getting so far... please do not give up now. YOU CAN DO IT!! You just need to get the right support from a professional to help you get through and you will smash your exams!

Please think about talking to someone. I would recommend start off talking to your GP or a trustworthy person in your life and they will be able to advise you and lead you to the right direction. I understand things seem impossible now but once you have reached out for support from the right people you will be okay.

I wish you all the best and remember that you are not alone x

I have spoken to many people but didnt receive much help. For some reason, everything went wrong since 26th June 2017 and continued to spiral down until it reached the breaking point from mid June 2018 till now.

I lost my soulmate, my pet, my physical and emotional health. I'm always unhappy and just feel like ending it all. I see people laughing and enjoying and I cant stop my tears. I was like that once.

My mom believes things will improve for me but I dont see it. My current situation is extremely adverse and I dont have any hope for any improvement. I'm usually not somebody who quits but I'm so fatigued that I have completely surrendered :frown:
Reply 7
Original post by Pathway
Perhaps going to your GP might help? Alternatively there is the Mental Health Support Society on here or you can drop me a message if you want to. You're not alone.

Thank you :smile: I'm so tired that I cannot explain in words. I'm close to tears every second of my life and even now I'm crying while writing. I dont know where I went wrong.
Reply 8
You haven't necessarily done anything "wrong" - mental illness doesn't really discriminate in that way. It sounds like you're not supported very well by your family which is worsening the situation tbh. But still it's not always helpful to assign blame or whatever.
I would say go to your GP, if you feel noone else understands, go to your GP and explain exactly how you feel and that you need the support. Your GP is a professional so should give you the best advice and connect you with people who will help you feel better about life.

Keep smiling, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you!
(This is coming from someone who currently is also going through hell).
Original post by Pathway
You haven't necessarily done anything "wrong" - mental illness doesn't really discriminate in that way. It sounds like you're not supported very well by your family which is worsening the situation tbh. But still it's not always helpful to assign blame or whatever.

My parents want me to finish this degree. That's all they want me to do. My mom says things will improve from April 2020 onwards. But I really dont see it.
Original post by Anonymous
I would say go to your GP, if you feel noone else understands, go to your GP and explain exactly how you feel and that you need the support. Your GP is a professional so should give you the best advice and connect you with people who will help you feel better about life.

Keep smiling, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you!
(This is coming from someone who currently is also going through hell).

I did speak to her and she directed me to student advice and well being. They weren't helpful so I spoke to her again. This time around she asked me to take up new hobbies, take day trips around UK etc.
You can finish your degree and get help at the same time - I did, graduated with a first whilst in therapy. They're not mutually exclusive. You have to make changes now to see changes in the future. Make steps towards getting help, professionally and on a peer level.
Don't give up, your so close to completing your degree. Is there anyone you can talk to? Don't keep everything in your mind, try to let it out and speak to someone. I pray you feel better and your mum believes in you that you will succeed and have great things happen to you in life, think positively, YOU CAN DO IT! Don't listen to negative thoughts you have or any other negative ppl in your life, focus on yourself and your own happiness and health. Your not alone always remember that.
Original post by Anonymous
Don't give up, your so close to completing your degree. Is there anyone you can talk to? Don't keep everything in your mind, try to let it out and speak to someone. I pray you feel better and your mum believes in you that you will succeed and have great things happen to you in life, think positively, YOU CAN DO IT! Don't listen to negative thoughts you have or any other negative ppl in your life, focus on yourself and your own happiness and health. Your not alone always remember that.

I dont have anyone except my mom. But I get angry at her because she believes in getting my studies done and letting things unfold. She has spoken to a family friend who is mental health counselor who also does some astrology and the lady told her that my period from Aug 2017 till April 2020 is not good. She didnt know anything about my situation but mostly said that I would have a lot of mental distress. She also said that coming mid February and March, things will improve and by April, I will be entering a new cycle which is very positive for me.

However, my current situation is extremely bad and I dont see how anything can improve. I have been severely depressed over a wrong timing of a potential relationship and I dont think it's possible to yet that back.
*to being that back.
You should tell your mum that what she is saying does not help, you just need someone to speak to your problems about. If you can get therapy it would be really helpful especially when the only person you have to speak to is your mum and speaking to your mum doesn't really help you. Also about astrology, you can't rely on that, you should try to at least make things better for yourself, if you accept that your life during this time period is gonna suck then it will suck. However if you try to do something and prevent yourself from going through more emotional pain during this period, then it won't be as bad as you think.

Is there anything you like to do that helps relieve your stress? you should do things which make you happy, even if it's just listening to your fav song. I find that it helps, you should try something like that. If you have the can do attitude you can do it, work hard to complete your degree and afterwards you will pat yourself on the shoulder for being so brave and confident. I might not know you, but I believe in you and I believe you will do well. About your relationship, sometimes it's best to take a break and focus on yourself and that is exactly what you need to do. You shouldn't get into a relationship that causes you so much stress that it affects your mental health. Maybe after you have graduated you can think about the relationship again, for now it's best to do things one at a time. You are a strong person, you can get through this xx
Original post by Anonymous
You should tell your mum that what she is saying does not help, you just need someone to speak to your problems about. If you can get therapy it would be really helpful especially when the only person you have to speak to is your mum and speaking to your mum doesn't really help you. Also about astrology, you can't rely on that, you should try to at least make things better for yourself, if you accept that your life during this time period is gonna suck then it will suck. However if you try to do something and prevent yourself from going through more emotional pain during this period, then it won't be as bad as you think.

Is there anything you like to do that helps relieve your stress? you should do things which make you happy, even if it's just listening to your fav song. I find that it helps, you should try something like that. If you have the can do attitude you can do it, work hard to complete your degree and afterwards you will pat yourself on the shoulder for being so brave and confident. I might not know you, but I believe in you and I believe you will do well. About your relationship, sometimes it's best to take a break and focus on yourself and that is exactly what you need to do. You shouldn't get into a relationship that causes you so much stress that it affects your mental health. Maybe after you have graduated you can think about the relationship again, for now it's best to do things one at a time. You are a strong person, you can get through this xx

Its getting increasingly difficult :frown:
You need to change your GP you definitely need help with your mental health. Some Gp's are just rubbish at this I am afraid Phone round other surgeries and find out who is taking on patients. You can definitely be helped and you definitely need help. Just try and do this one thing. Your mum and her friend are misguided you do need proper medical help with your depression/anxiety. Try and phone round today or if it gets really bad phone 111 after surgery hours and go and see an emergency Gp. But a new gp is the best answer. Uni can get sorted later. Let us know how you get on. Good luck.
I fell so sorry for you. I know what's it like, and you need to be strong and brave to overcome it.

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