Is it too late in the academic year to make friends?
I’m in second year at uni it’s almost mid February. I have no friends here and haven’t got the year and a half I’ve been here because of my social anxiety. I’ve been wanting to join societies for months now but haven’t built up the courage to go. I’m now at the point where I’m so depressed I’m going to force myself to go in the next week or two as I know it is the only way I will be able to make friends. Is it too late in the academic year now since lectures finish end of March, spring break first three weeks in April then exams for three weeks then finish in mid May? I want to have some close friends and a girlfriend before the semester is done. I’m naturally very shy and I will struggle talking to people but I’m going to push myself. I’m just so lonely and depressed here everyday is hell I don’t even have one friend here I don’t talk to anybody. I’m also going to try talking to people 5 minutes before lectures start. That will be scary too but I have too push myself. I’m also going to try go to the library really late like 10-11 at night try talking to some girls which will improve my confidence with girls and maybe even try and get a girls number if I like her. Are these all good ways of improving my situation? And also is there anything else I could be doing to try and make friends. I need to do this very soon seeing friends and couples here is destroying me I need to get friends and a girlfriend soon.
I think just trying to speak to people on your course before or even after the lesson is a good place to start. Maybe try asking about a piece of work that you have due in, or see if they would be willing to help you on a part of the lecture that you are unsure of. Personally I find asking questions the easiest way to start a conversation. I’m sure there are people who are feeling the same way as you. Also joining a society would be very beneficial as it enable you to meet people to have similar interests to you and then you will automatically have something to talk about. It’s definitely not too late, like you said you have over a year and a half left. That’s plenty of time to make a new friend or two.
Original post by ebennion
I think just trying to speak to people on your course before or even after the lesson is a good place to start. Maybe try asking about a piece of work that you have due in, or see if they would be willing to help you on a part of the lecture that you are unsure of. Personally I find asking questions the easiest way to start a conversation. I’m sure there are people who are feeling the same way as you. Also joining a society would be very beneficial as it enable you to meet people to have similar interests to you and then you will automatically have something to talk about. It’s definitely not too late, like you said you have over a year and a half left. That’s plenty of time to make a new friend or two.
That’s all good advice and like I said I have social anxiety so I find social interactions very scary but I need to push myself because this social isolation I’m experiencing is hell. I mean it’s mid February now lectures end in 6 weeks will it be too late to join a society or do you think there will still be events on during spring break in April and into May? I’m definitely not waiting till third year to make friends I need to make friends now and get a girlfriend too.
Original post by Anonymous
That’s all good advice and like I said I have social anxiety so I find social interactions very scary but I need to push myself because this social isolation I’m experiencing is hell. I mean it’s mid February now lectures end in 6 weeks will it be too late to join a society or do you think there will still be events on during spring break in April and into May? I’m definitely not waiting till third year to make friends I need to make friends now and get a girlfriend too.
It's never too late. At school I didn't make friends until 2nd year.
It's good you recognise you need to push yourself out there, that's the crux: after all how can you be friends with people if you don't meet anyone. Just keep practising, it will be hard at first and it will take time but good friends are out there !
I can relate to your experience a bit minus the fact that I don't have social anxiety. I'm also in second year and have no friends, not even one. I have tried societies and gained nothing but acquaintances who eventually turn into strangers. I'm going to try a few more societies and speak directly to the student union saying I'm struggling to make friends and so and hopefully they can direct me to some of the fun, interesting and sociable events people are likely to be at. I have hope and don't want to get to third year with no soul.
I think you have good ideas, you should pursue them. talk to your class mates and join a society.
I think you have good ideas, you should pursue them. talk to your class mates and join a society.
Original post by Anonymous
I can relate to your experience a bit minus the fact that I don't have social anxiety. I'm also in second year and have no friends, not even one. I have tried societies and gained nothing but acquaintances who eventually turn into strangers. I'm going to try a few more societies and speak directly to the student union saying I'm struggling to make friends and so and hopefully they can direct me to some of the fun, interesting and sociable events people are likely to be at. I have hope and don't want to get to third year with no soul.
I think you have good ideas, you should pursue them. talk to your class mates and join a society.
I think you have good ideas, you should pursue them. talk to your class mates and join a society.
If you don’t mind me asking why did you struggle to make friends at a society since that is supposed to be a really easy place to make friends since you have common interests?
Why do you need to get a girlfriend now. Take time make friends first make and female. If there is a girl you like then great, get to know her first and then who knows what will happen. It takes time, your not going to get a girlfriend in 6 weeks most likely but you could have more friends that are girls
Original post by Anonymous
If you don’t mind me asking why did you struggle to make friends at a society since that is supposed to be a really easy place to make friends since you have common interests?
The people I met were not very convincing, even though we connected at the moment, and when exchanging details. The follow up was poor. It was like they weren't interested to pursue a potential friendship with me.
I just haven't met or found the right group of people that I should be around. I have so many interests but some of the societies in my uni are questionable- not all are dedicated to what I am interested in. But I don't want to come off as closed minded that's why I'm seeking the student Union next week to see what other opportunities they have, and try them out. I'm into many things, I tried a sports one in the beginning but let it go, 1 being - I could not be bothered to go to the practice lessons (football) and did it to find people, however I didn't find much people who I would see myself personally hanging out with. 2 being - I did not make it to the team (netball) - netball is my favourite sport so I was damned I did not make it. There was plenty of people there that I'm sure I would get a long with if only I made it to the team.
Never the less, I'm still going to try and put more effort.
I want a friendship that is natural and nothing that is forced so I pray those I magically bump into becomes something real and genuine.
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