The Student Room Group

Is my brother gay?

I’m 17 and my brother is 26!
For years he’s been plagued with questions on his sexuality but he’s always denied it. His last girlfriend was 7 years ago and I’ve never seen him out with anyone since.
He adds random girls on Facebook who live miles and miles away, whom he doesn’t actually know.
Last year I went through his FB account and more and more people keep saying he is, but he flat outs denies it.
I want to support my brother and make sure he’s not alone or isolated and we would support him as a family but more and more questions keep appearing.
Someone said he was last year and this has resulted in months upon months of him liking inappropriate pics on twitter of models nude. Something he didn’t start till days after accusations were made and he’s carried it on months. Before that it was a gaming content..
He’s a good looking guy but claims he’s not the relationship type which comes off again as a red flag. I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time he’s 26 and he’s wasting his life keeping a secret , can so many people be wrong?
Original post by Connrrhillside
I’m 17 and my brother is 26!
For years he’s been plagued with questions on his sexuality but he’s always denied it. His last girlfriend was 7 years ago and I’ve never seen him out with anyone since.
He adds random girls on Facebook who live miles and miles away, whom he doesn’t actually know.
Last year I went through his FB account and more and more people keep saying he is, but he flat outs denies it.
I want to support my brother and make sure he’s not alone or isolated and we would support him as a family but more and more questions keep appearing.
Someone said he was last year and this has resulted in months upon months of him liking inappropriate pics on twitter of models nude. Something he didn’t start till days after accusations were made and he’s carried it on months. Before that it was a gaming content..
He’s a good looking guy but claims he’s not the relationship type which comes off again as a red flag. I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time he’s 26 and he’s wasting his life keeping a secret , can so many people be wrong?

Maybe he's shy/unconfident?
Original post by Connrrhillside
I’m 17 and my brother is 26!
For years he’s been plagued with questions on his sexuality but he’s always denied it. His last girlfriend was 7 years ago and I’ve never seen him out with anyone since.
He adds random girls on Facebook who live miles and miles away, whom he doesn’t actually know.
Last year I went through his FB account and more and more people keep saying he is, but he flat outs denies it.
I want to support my brother and make sure he’s not alone or isolated and we would support him as a family but more and more questions keep appearing.
Someone said he was last year and this has resulted in months upon months of him liking inappropriate pics on twitter of models nude. Something he didn’t start till days after accusations were made and he’s carried it on months. Before that it was a gaming content..
He’s a good looking guy but claims he’s not the relationship type which comes off again as a red flag. I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time he’s 26 and he’s wasting his life keeping a secret , can so many people be wrong?


He might not know or may be questioning it, in which case he might not want to say anything until he’s 100% sure. Some people don’t ever want a relationship and some think they don’t want one until they meet that one person who changes their perspective. Just let him know you’re ok if he’s gay/straight/a sexual..... but don’t pressure an answer or anything
Original post by Connrrhillside
I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time he’s 26 and he’s wasting his life keeping a secret , can so many people be wrong?

Why do you think you're in position to judge whether or not he's 'wasting his life keeping a secret'? What's all this 'red flag' crap? You actually don't sound very supportive to me: you sound gossipy and desperate to 'out' him.

Leave him alone. If he wants to tell you something, he will - but if you're like this irl, I doubt you'd be someone he'd turn to.
Wow all this speculation and confusion can all be sorted out if you just ask him. It's not rocket science!
I love how much thinking and investigative work you’ve done😂 He’s your brother, surely you know him better than all these people? You’re speculating about him like he’s someone you don’t know very well yet you say you want to support him?
Maybe don't flat out ask him if he is gay-chances are he doesn't want to talk about it if he has been denying it so much. Let him do whatever he feels the need to do,even if it is liking inappropriate posts. He'll probably let you know if he is,but maybe not right now...that could even happen like, 5 years down the line. Just support him and let him do whatever-be there for him.
Reply 7
Original post by Reality Check
Why do you think you're in position to judge whether or not he's 'wasting his life keeping a secret'? What's all this 'red flag' crap? You actually don't sound very supportive to me: you sound gossipy and desperate to 'out' him.

Leave him alone. If he wants to tell you something, he will - but if you're like this irl, I doubt you'd be someone he'd turn to.


I thought the same thing. A red flag is some warning sign from behaviour that warns you to stay away but this isn’t anything like that and it sounds a bit mean.

Maybe you didn’t mean to come across this way OP and I hope not but just be aware of how those phrases sound. I’m hoping your intention was that he he isn’t experiencing relationships at his young age because he isn’t ready to be out if he is gay, however he might just not want to have a relationship so we can’t really know what going on.

I’d let him just do what he needs to, if people keep accusing him of being gay then it doesn’t sound like many people he knows are being very supportive.
Reply 8
Original post by Connrrhillside
I’m 17 and my brother is 26!
For years he’s been plagued with questions on his sexuality but he’s always denied it. His last girlfriend was 7 years ago and I’ve never seen him out with anyone since.
He adds random girls on Facebook who live miles and miles away, whom he doesn’t actually know.
Last year I went through his FB account and more and more people keep saying he is, but he flat outs denies it.
I want to support my brother and make sure he’s not alone or isolated and we would support him as a family but more and more questions keep appearing.
Someone said he was last year and this has resulted in months upon months of him liking inappropriate pics on twitter of models nude. Something he didn’t start till days after accusations were made and he’s carried it on months. Before that it was a gaming content..
He’s a good looking guy but claims he’s not the relationship type which comes off again as a red flag. I don’t want to pressure him but at the same time he’s 26 and he’s wasting his life keeping a secret , can so many people be wrong?


If he is, he'll say in his own time. Maybe he does meet lads, but doesn't want to share. His choice don't speculate.
I appreciate some helpful suggestions. I just would like to see my brother happy and with someone . But the fact he’s not with girls and hasn’t been in a relationship for seven years makes me worry he’s too scared to come out when we would support him. I don’t want him wasting anymore time if he is gay
Original post by Connrrhillside
I appreciate some helpful suggestions. I just would like to see my brother happy and with someone . But the fact he’s not with girls and hasn’t been in a relationship for seven years makes me worry he’s too scared to come out when we would support him. I don’t want him wasting anymore time if he is gay


You don't have to be in a relationship to not be wasting your life bro. He might enjoy being single, shagging around.

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