How does one go about obtaining a one night stand?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I’m first year at uni I’m almost nineteen and I’m still a virgin, how embarrassing. Basically I’ve always been shy around girls and I go clubbing quite a lot but I’m usually too shy to approach girls. I see other guys and even some of my friends go over to talk to girls and before you know it they’re making out then they go home.

I’d literally have no idea what to say. Do you just approach them ask their name, ask if they’re at uni or if they come to the club often? Then what do you just take their hand to dance or do you ask to buy them a drink? Then when you’re dancing when do you know it’s right to lean in for the kiss? Then what do you say at the end of the night as to go home? A lot of my neighbours in my halls above me are female and I hear them having one night stands a lot so is it common for girls to ask to go home together or do guys ask and they just decide where to go?

I’m just really unsure on how to go about this. I feel if I did I’d be much more confident with girls. I’m attractive and I’ve had girls eye me up and smile at me in clubs some have even taken my hand to dance but I’ve been too shy and turned away which I regret. It’s just getting me down how much casual sex everyone at uni is having and I don’t have the confidence to talk to girls.

Based upon the questions I’ve asked how do I go about obtaining a one night stand? Please can any guy or girl who has had multiple one night stands tell me how they went about approaching them or if you’re a girl how you were approached and what generally tends to happen? Do people really always buy girls drinks? Is it always the guy who leans in for the kiss and asks to go home? I’m really getting frustrated and even a bit depressed that lots of guys my age even some of my friends regularly pull girls and I’m too shy and lack the confidence. I know this is the student room and there are usually a lot of joke or sarcastic answers on these types of threads but I please ask can everyone just keep to offering me genuine advice, no joke answers please.
1
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
take a shot, pick a god and pray
1
David Getling
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#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
Isn't that what Tinder is for?

Of course, the trouble with one night stands is sometimes you get a souvenir.
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Drewski
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#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
You can get any quantity of night stands from you local IKEA :fyi:
7
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#5
(Original post by Drewski)
You can get any quantity of night stands from you local IKEA :fyi:
You must be dyslexic either that or you just ignored me when I said no joke answers, I asked this because I want genuine advice and my social skills with girls aren’t exactly great
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Reality Check
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#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m first year at uni I’m almost nineteen and I’m still a virgin, how embarrassing. Basically I’ve always been shy around girls and I go clubbing quite a lot but I’m usually too shy to approach girls. I see other guys and even some of my friends go over to talk to girls and before you know it they’re making out then they go home.

I’d literally have no idea what to say. Do you just approach them ask their name, ask if they’re at uni or if they come to the club often? Then what do you just take their hand to dance or do you ask to buy them a drink? Then when you’re dancing when do you know it’s right to lean in for the kiss? Then what do you say at the end of the night as to go home? A lot of my neighbours in my halls above me are female and I hear them having one night stands a lot so is it common for girls to ask to go home together or do guys ask and they just decide where to go?

I’m just really unsure on how to go about this. I feel if I did I’d be much more confident with girls. I’m attractive and I’ve had girls eye me up and smile at me in clubs some have even taken my hand to dance but I’ve been too shy and turned away which I regret. It’s just getting me down how much casual sex everyone at uni is having and I don’t have the confidence to talk to girls.

Based upon the questions I’ve asked how do I go about obtaining a one night stand? Please can any guy or girl who has had multiple one night stands tell me how they went about approaching them or if you’re a girl how you were approached and what generally tends to happen? Do people really always buy girls drinks? Is it always the guy who leans in for the kiss and asks to go home? I’m really getting frustrated and even a bit depressed that lots of guys my age even some of my friends regularly pull girls and I’m too shy and lack the confidence. I know this is the student room and there are usually a lot of joke or sarcastic answers on these types of threads but I please ask can everyone just keep to offering me genuine advice, no joke answers please.
Have you thought about an 'escort' to break yourself in and find your way around a woman, so to speak? I'm being serious - this isn't a joke answer.
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username4969948
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#7
Report 2 years ago
#7
The basic rules are:

1. Don't be ugly.
2. Don't be socially inept.

Additionally, you want to obtain a one night stand. So do the 50 other losers who all the women in a club are trying to avoid. We pick up on sexual desperation in men. It is not a desirable trait.

Talk to women as if they are humans, not sexual conquests. Let the potential for something sexual to develop organically. I'm game for a night of fun with the right guy, but it has to be someone I feel comfortable with. Someone lamely trying to get into my knickers is going to get nowhere.
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M_gtow
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#8
Report 2 years ago
#8
We live in an increasingly hypergamic society.

Selective females choose high value males. If you are an average Male you will find sex denied to you.
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Bio 7
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#9
Report 2 years ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
You must be dyslexic either that or you just ignored me when I said no joke answers, I asked this because I want genuine advice and my social skills with girls aren’t exactly great
Your attitude towards them isn’t great either. Once you stop thinking of them as something to obtain you might do a little better in talking to them

Treat them as people, as strange as that may sound, and don’t see sex as the only reason to talk to them.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#10
(Original post by Bio 7)
Your attitude towards them isn’t great either. Once you stop thinking of them as something to obtain you might do a little better in talking to them

Treat them as people, as strange as that may sound, and don’t see sex as the only reason to talk to them.
Maybe I phrased the title wrongly. I definitely do not view women is sexual objects I view them as human being. Since myself and other uni aged guys share a mutual attraction with girls, I would like to have a one night sexual experience with a girl I meet at a club like millions of people at uni do on a regular basis. I’m just a more shy person talking to girls, probably because of my lack of experience with girls.
0
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#11
(Original post by M_gtow)
We live in an increasingly hypergamic society.

Selective females choose high value males. If you are an average Male you will find sex denied to you.
I’ve seen plenty of guys in clubs who I would describe as average looking at best making out with girls, girls in clubs are much more sociable and will not reject anyone who isn’t very attractive. I do have the advantage of being attractive and have noticed girls staring at me and smiling in clubs I just lack the confidence to approach them usually for fear of not knowing what to say or getting nervous or whatever
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username47781
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#12
Report 2 years ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
You must be dyslexic either that or you just ignored me when I said no joke answers, I asked this because I want genuine advice and my social skills with girls aren’t exactly great
No need to be rude won't help you in your chances in getting laid
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Drewski
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#13
Report 2 years ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Maybe I phrased the title wrongly. I definitely do not view women is sexual objects I view them as human being. Since myself and other uni aged guys share a mutual attraction with girls, I would like to have a one night sexual experience with a girl I meet at a club like millions of people at uni do on a regular basis. I’m just a more shy person talking to girls, probably because of my lack of experience with girls.
The lack of social awareness you're showing in this thread is why that'll never happen.

Stop viewing them solely as a thing to have sex with.
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Scrax
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#14
Report 2 years ago
#14
Sorry mate but going by what you've written I don't think you're the kind of guy who pulls a girl in a bar or club you haven't met before, takes them back to your or her place and gets laid. Guys who do this are usually pretty experienced at the game and know what they're doing. But by what you're saying you obviously don't even know how to chat up a girl you haven't met before which might look easy but is actually a skill in itself. The truth is, it still takes skill and luck to get laid in one night even if you like like Brad Pitt or you're an experienced player. Tbh if you really really want to get laid go onto vivastreet and pay an escort. Otherwise you sound like you would be better off getting to know girls outside the clubbing scene slowly and going on a few dates, or maybe trying internet dating.
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scrk009
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#15
Report 8 months ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m first year at uni I’m almost nineteen and I’m still a virgin, how embarrassing. Basically I’ve always been shy around girls and I go clubbing quite a lot but I’m usually too shy to approach girls. I see other guys and even some of my friends go over to talk to girls and before you know it they’re making out then they go home.

I’d literally have no idea what to say. Do you just approach them ask their name, ask if they’re at uni or if they come to the club often? Then what do you just take their hand to dance or do you ask to buy them a drink? Then when you’re dancing when do you know it’s right to lean in for the kiss? Then what do you say at the end of the night as to go home? A lot of my neighbours in my halls above me are female and I hear them having one night stands a lot so is it common for girls to ask to go home together or do guys ask and they just decide where to go?

I’m just really unsure on how to go about this. I feel if I did I’d be much more confident with girls. I’m attractive and I’ve had girls eye me up and smile at me in clubs some have even taken my hand to dance but I’ve been too shy and turned away which I regret. It’s just getting me down how much casual sex everyone at uni is having and I don’t have the confidence to talk to girls.

Based upon the questions I’ve asked how do I go about obtaining a one night stand? Please can any guy or girl who has had multiple one night stands tell me how they went about approaching them or if you’re a girl how you were approached and what generally tends to happen? Do people really always buy girls drinks? Is it always the guy who leans in for the kiss and asks to go home? I’m really getting frustrated and even a bit depressed that lots of guys my age even some of my friends regularly pull girls and I’m too shy and lack the confidence. I know this is the student room and there are usually a lot of joke or sarcastic answers on these types of threads but I please ask can everyone just keep to offering me genuine advice, no joke answers please.
Well all jokes aside, when you hurry to lose your virginity just because other people can it ends up in a very very very bad situation, so I'd say wait for someone youre honestly interested in, firstly if they genuinly like you they would cope up with you in any sexual consideration, second of all they would take their time with you as well and most importantly wont make fun of you if youre too prepared or confused as to what should be done.
Another adivce is if you cant follow the previous advice , is that fake it till you make it lol
i mean youve heard that before, so like fake confidence and just walk up to some girl youre interested in and ask her out, im not saying directly as to fu-k im just saying be nice and continue.
Or what i usually do is (ik its lame but i get sm options lol) text them, well if you lack confidence in person and you just wanna lose your virginity, then ngl the best thing you can do is find a girl whos a major *****, like i mean a MAJOR slut and text her lmaoooooo.
My first second base was hestitant but an amazing fuc-ing story to remember, so even if you dont have confidence it doesnt matter cuz you got it G, youre attractive and **** so whats holding you up? Go for it!!
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