Sexually incompatible?

My sex drive does fluctuate during my cycle but I seem to have a higher sex drive than my bf. Actually I think we are equally horny, but I'm very easy to make orgasm and it feels better each time. Whereas for him, the most he will have is 3 in one day (like max, and that's only if we haven't met for ages as LDR). Even then it'll take longer each time for him to orgasm and he's quite hard to make orgasm compared together guys. He also says it doesn't feel as good after too many times, so prefers once. Kinda weird because it's usually the other way round gender wise.

In addition, due to his porn use and idiosyncratic masturbation, when we have had sex he has not orgasmed (I happily give bjs btw). Having sex with a guy who does not orgasm is awful, it feels awful, particularly when you love that person, and he obviously now feels pressured to orgasm, I'm not as enthusiastic or playful. We therefore haven't found our groove with that and he kind of said sex does not matter and that we don't have to have sex ever again.

However I feel a longing to have sex not just the physical side, I really want to have emotional, passionate, and fulfilling sex (that my partner enjoys and orgasms from, I would never be happy if I orgasm and he didn't), and to bond and be one and have that extra intimacy with a partner I love, to feel even closer to them. The fact that he doesn't orgasm during sex indicates sex for him is only the physical.

I do not want a short term sexual relationship or ONS, for me to really enjoy sexual activity I have to have a good emotional connection, I want it to mean something. I am sort of asexual in the sense that I find other men attractive, but I do not wish to have sex with them because I have no emotional connection to them, I have a high sex drive for my bf only.

I really don't want to leave my bf for this because sex isn't that important to me, but I don't want it to turn into a completely platonic love relationship. Sorry if tsr inappropriate, any advice or thoughts?

Males don’t feel much during sex anyway at least I dont

Guys can’t orgasm multiple times in a day. For me I only feel the first one then it has to be at least 12 hours or nothing comes out no matter how long I stroke for.

You’re right sex isn’t everything and I’ve been dumped for this reason in the past and it’s pretty depressing for me

That's also interesting, though I think that depends on the guy? But good to know my bf isn't the only one and it's not my fault or something. Sorry to hear that as well

Suppose it depends on how long you two have been together?
Is he still tugging the tiger? As alot of guys have a habit of doing that too much and losing the sensation in sex, also known as Death Grip Syndrome where the guy tugs it far too hard and nerves become almost accustom to that tight of a feeling in his hand and can compare in a sex situation

Suppose it depends on how long you two have been together?
Is he still tugging the tiger? As alot of guys have a habit of doing that too much and losing the sensation in sex, also known as Death Grip Syndrome where the guy tugs it far too hard and nerves become almost accustom to that tight of a feeling in his hand and can compare in a sex situation

How does a guy fix death grip

Literally dont **** for at least 3-4 weeks, when you do, change the technique so your nerves get use to the less feeling, also theres a oil cream called man 1 man oil which does wonders

Could you just not touch it for the 3-4 weeks then jump into sex? I heard also a female being wet can cause numbness

Suppose it depends on how long you two have been together?
Is he still tugging the tiger? As alot of guys have a habit of doing that too much and losing the sensation in sex, also known as Death Grip Syndrome where the guy tugs it far too hard and nerves become almost accustom to that tight of a feeling in his hand and can compare in a sex situation

It sounds like sexual incompatibility or a health issue to me.
Does he spend a lot of time watching porn?
It could be that he prefers porn to sex or only gets his thrills from particular types of kink porn.
Alternatively he could be unwell, feeling very stressed or depressed.

I view a partner saying that "sex does not matter and that we don't have to have sex ever again" as a major red flag.
I'm not suggesting that a relationship should be entirely based on sexual lust, my last relationship ended in a sordid breakup because of the ex's relentless sexual appetite and the dirty little adventures he wasn't keen on me finding out about.
But the absence of sex can often be indicative of a lack of sexual attraction and the lack of a desire for affection & intimacy on the part of the person who has little or no interest in maintaining a healthy sex life.

How should I go about this conversation?

I don't think he has death grip syndrome because he comes easily from a bj in say 5 - 15mins, but he masturbates in a very specific way focusing on the specific bit, and does it incredibly fast (I've never been able to give him a hand job). Because we are LDR he obviously masturbates. But I think that's partly why sex isn't enough stimulation for him.


Yes he had been watching porn and told me he preferred watching porn to having sex. Which made me sad. He said I misinterpreted and he meant prefers masturbating to porn rather than using pcitures of me. He did say he prefers cuddling, kissing, bjs from me to porn. But anyway we decided porn was a no go.

Sorry to hear about your ex Thank you, I was confused as to why an 18 year old guy would be happy to have no sex... it shows he isn't using me for sex but :/ At the start of the relationship he was very sexually interested in me and wanted intimacy on all levels.

I should probably talk to him about it? But it's a sensitive and difficult topic, as it's unlikely he will admit to not being attracted anymore and he'll say I'm worrying too much etc. But I am concerned. How should I go about this conversation?

In addition, due to his porn use and idiosyncratic masturbation, when we have had sex he has not orgasmed (I happily give bjs btw). Having sex with a guy who does not orgasm is awful, it feels awful, particularly when you love that person, and he obviously now feels pressured to orgasm, I'm not as enthusiastic or playful. We therefore haven't found our groove with that and he kind of said sex does not matter and that we don't have to have sex ever again.

Males don’t feel much during sex anyway at least I dont

Suppose it depends on how long you two have been together?
Is he still tugging the tiger? As alot of guys have a habit of doing that too much and losing the sensation in sex, also known as Death Grip Syndrome where the guy tugs it far too hard and nerves become almost accustom to that tight of a feeling in his hand and can compare in a sex situation

Just like how a female can become too loose by using to big of toys

Literally dont **** for at least 3-4 weeks, when you do, change the technique so your nerves get use to the less feeling, also theres a oil cream called man 1 man oil which does wonders

Yes he had been watching porn and told me he preferred watching porn to having sex. Which made me sad. He said I misinterpreted and he meant prefers masturbating to porn rather than using pcitures of me. He did say he prefers cuddling, kissing, bjs from me to porn. But anyway we decided porn was a no go.

It's OK if he prefers looking at pictures or videos of other woman to looking at ones of you when he masturbates. Just as it's OK if you have sexual fantasies involving other men.

It's good that you cleared up the misunderstanding. He does prefer sex with you to masturbating. That's great!

Males don’t feel much during sex anyway at least I dont

Honestly mate you’re completely wrong - firstly men can orgasm multiple time’s, you just sit on them and keep going with your hands and they’ll swirm around in pleasure

5 Minutes?! Not a single guy I’ve been with has lasted that and believe me I’ve slept around a lot. It’s always an average of 25 minutes or 30 including foreplay

Most of my male partners feel nothing compared to females


Yes baby’s come out of there although it’s can widen, why do you think they’re kegal exercises to tighten it?
If I’ve been taking a circumference of 8 inches for 5 years then drop to a 4 inch circumference I wouldn’t feel that 4 inch neither would he as it would have stretched too much.


Imo most women class it as cheating if he watches porn during a relationship as it technically is. We never watch it when we’re in relationships