can u let me know what other people thought about your essay, i write in a similiar style but my teacher would have expected a evaluation, there is very little evaluation, you need to write the conflict for every point. Moreover you should have added data and your points are very simple you need to explain your points with real life examples. conclusion to me just sounds very weak. i mean just read it aloud, within in a conclusion you have to summarise your points, and value ur arguments and from there on you need to say '' I belive all firms maximise profits to a greater extent, this can be supported by.......'' And then write a small sentences explaining your decisions.
No Harsh feelings, but i pointe dout all the negatives, i want you to do well, so please take this advice. To finnaly point out ur definition is also quite weak , You need to say then ''therfore profit maximisation occurs where MC=MR'' and normally u should have 2.
I also understand u cant put diagrams here, but remember u need diagrams, i would say 1 diagram per point, as this will allow u to elaborate ur points .
Overall good luck my brudda , inshallah you will do well. Stay safe and let me know what other people have said
Boss