Hi so let me start this off with I didn't want to really be at university this year, but I was convinced by my parents and my teachers that I should go to university. I wanted a gap year. I didn't believe I was in the mental state to be at uni..
Secondly I didn't get put in a hall and instead had to opt for private accommodation, which turned out to be full of postgraduates and internationals who don't socialise :/
Thirdly I didn't know what I wanted in university and honestly felt confused if I wanted to be here. I didn't put myself out there enough during the first few weeks of university and think that's where I ****ed up - this largely due to me not really wanting to be here.
I'm failing first year cos I really don't have motivation to revise. I really lost motivation after the first 2 months or so, got super depressed and wanted to leave..had a MCF and now I'm still not motivated to study here.
I'm going to have exams in May then again in August meaning I have no break and I don't think I'll be in the mental state to be a second year or work hard for 5 months straight where the workload is immense. I don't have a social life and that's partly my fault since I had a psychological block due to me wanting to be on a gap year..
There's still 2 months until May exams and I can go full A level sweat mode where I did 8 hours a day but as you can tell I don't have motivation...However a gap year allows for me to have 6 months break but now Coronavirus has ruined any productivity of gap year.
Only issue is - first year is basically over and before you ask - no I've done no work, I haven't even done the first [ever] lab for the big module which is worth 30 credits and there's chances exams can be cancelled.
I haven't done any assignments or any work at all really. I've only really done my lecture notes.
P.s. I'm already 20 :/