just need to say it out there
my so has told me that i need to start college if i want to stay with them im in my ealry 20s and tryed it before and because of my anxiety witch is highly linked with autism they have told me i need to get help for my mental health by the end of next week then get to school as soon as i can i really dont think i can do it in that time i want to be with them i love them but i really dont think they understand my mental health much there not in the uk iv been over there 3 times they have not been here yet and they want me to live over there because thats what they want i want to as well but if i do college even if i have a job and do it il be poor going over there to live its pretty bad to say because of my age just being over 18 i cant get it for free so if i do they want me to do il be there and poor if i dont they dont want to be with me i know i need to tell them im already leaving my family my mates everything i have here to be with them but i dont want to feel like being manipulative to them i know i need to say something but i cant because my mental health i dont want to end thing with them i really dont i just dont know what to do
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replies from myself will be slow iv been up all night thinking about this need some sleep
I'm assuming that both of you are trying to do long distance? How long have you been together? Is it worth it to sacrifice so much to move all the way to their country? Have you talked to them about your concerns? I just need more information about this.
Sleep might really help. Take a deep breath. This seems rather complicated and you need a clear mind to make a decision. Try not to rush that decision. Mental health is a journey, and you have to decide which steps are comfortable for you.
Sleep might really help. Take a deep breath. This seems rather complicated and you need a clear mind to make a decision. Try not to rush that decision. Mental health is a journey, and you have to decide which steps are comfortable for you.
update so i told them about how im leaving everything to be with them and how i love them and im willing to do that for them they have told me in there eyes we have gone form a full relationship to more just us 2 having fun it really kills me inside to know the one i thoght i could relay on when im down and trust when i need support will make me feel like this and think less of me after everything we have done i really dont know what to do anymore im not ganna lie i really cant take it
texted them that im willing to go just for them il be poor if i do but i just want to with them
Original post by Anonymous
texted them that im willing to go just for them il be poor if i do but i just want to with them
actions speak louder than words. they don't seem to be feeling it by the sounds of things.
Judging by your spelling and grammar, I would definitely agree that you should go to college. This could have done with a rigorous proof read...
Original post by Anonymous
actions speak louder than words. they don't seem to be feeling it by the sounds of things.
i know but i dont want to go do anything now cos of the stress the world is giving me i want to show them i can be the one they want i want to show them i can be someone they can live with but now they just dont even want to say "i love you" in texts i just feeling like a slug of a human idk what to do
Original post by Anonymous
Judging by your spelling and grammar, I would definitely agree that you should go to college. This could have done with a rigorous proof read...
1 i have the worst dyslexia ever seen to man and 2 iv been drinking all night so not all with it atm 3 its the internet mate
Original post by Anonymous
1 i have the worst dyslexia ever seen to man and 2 iv been drinking all night so not all with it atm 3 its the internet mate
Exactly! College could really help you with your dyslexia. I also have dyslexia and dyslexia and now I study law at university and have 4 A levels. So, college could really help you with these things. I wasn’t meaning it as a criticism. If you just sit there and think “oh I have dyslexia so I can’t go to college or be academic” then that’s really sad. Don’t let it hold you back. Often, the people I know with dyslexia are actually some of the most hard working, resilient people.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
College is not for everyone.
Dont go if you dont want to, and do not feel pressured to.
If you want to try a less stressful college, maybe go to a trade school?
Dont go if you dont want to, and do not feel pressured to.
If you want to try a less stressful college, maybe go to a trade school?
not really looked into it at all tbh tho the main point is its what they want me to do and if i cant do it they will dump me
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly! College could really help you with your dyslexia. I also have dyslexia and dyslexia and now I study law at university and have 4 A levels. So, college could really help you with these things. I wasn’t meaning it as a criticism. If you just sit there and think “oh I have dyslexia so I can’t go to college or be academic” then that’s really sad. Don’t let it hold you back. Often, the people I know with dyslexia are actually some of the most hard working, resilient people.
not saying i can not go cos of my dyslexia im saying i cant go cos if i do il start to cry in public probably cut myself again, online might be an idea but if i do i want have any money by the end of it and then i need to get a job in the us and hold it, i got a levels from 6 form in english and media studies but to them they dont mean anything
Original post by Anonymous
not really looked into it at all tbh tho the main point is its what they want me to do and if i cant do it they will dump me
Good for u
I mean if they will dump you for watching out for your mental health, are they really worth it? Do you want to be with someone who doesn't understand your medical condition? There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
Good for u
I mean if they will dump you for watching out for your mental health, are they really worth it? Do you want to be with someone who doesn't understand your medical condition? There are plenty of fish in the sea.
I mean if they will dump you for watching out for your mental health, are they really worth it? Do you want to be with someone who doesn't understand your medical condition? There are plenty of fish in the sea.
tbh at this point the wrighting is on the wall for that to happen im only 20 and they are acting im in my 40s and not doing anything
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly! College could really help you with your dyslexia. I also have dyslexia and dyslexia and now I study law at university and have 4 A levels. So, college could really help you with these things. I wasn’t meaning it as a criticism. If you just sit there and think “oh I have dyslexia so I can’t go to college or be academic” then that’s really sad. Don’t let it hold you back. Often, the people I know with dyslexia are actually some of the most hard working, resilient people.
The age old lie "everyone should go to college" or "you cant be successful without going to college" is not true.
Its just not for everyone. It is high in stress, and its just a waste of time for a lot of people. Why go if your mental health will suffer or if your not going to learn anything? Its just a waste of money for some people.
Edit- Of course if you want to go you totally should, but dont pressure other people into going because its not helpful for a lo of people.
Original post by Anonymous
tbh at this point the wrighting is on the wall for that to happen im only 20 and they are acting im in my 40s and not doing anything
Ya, I would probably get out of that relationship if I were you :/
Honestly they don't sound supportive or understanding.
Don't go and live there with them. This is the level of support and commitment they're showing right now. Moving to a different country is incredibly stressful and you'd need someone you can rely on. They are not it.
Imagine this. You move over there and 2 weeks later they end the relationship and never speak to you again. How would you cope mentally? How would you cope financially? How would you cope socially? - you'd be in a new country without knowing anyone. Where would you live?
I'd say to leave them. They don't respect you. They're trying to push you into life changing decisions that you don't seem like you feel ready for. One of the hardest things in life is that you can't make someone love you. But if they don't love you and accept you for who you are and where you're at in your life. They don't deserve you and they're not the right person for you.
You are not a slug of a human. You seem incredibly loving, even to your own detriment. Being loving is actually the sign of a good human. I will say you seem to be a little impulsive. But no-ones perfect. And in some scenarios being able to make fast decisions is helpful.
I hope you make the decision that's right for you and that you find someone who helps you know you're amazing and perfect just the way you are.
Don't go and live there with them. This is the level of support and commitment they're showing right now. Moving to a different country is incredibly stressful and you'd need someone you can rely on. They are not it.
Imagine this. You move over there and 2 weeks later they end the relationship and never speak to you again. How would you cope mentally? How would you cope financially? How would you cope socially? - you'd be in a new country without knowing anyone. Where would you live?
I'd say to leave them. They don't respect you. They're trying to push you into life changing decisions that you don't seem like you feel ready for. One of the hardest things in life is that you can't make someone love you. But if they don't love you and accept you for who you are and where you're at in your life. They don't deserve you and they're not the right person for you.
You are not a slug of a human. You seem incredibly loving, even to your own detriment. Being loving is actually the sign of a good human. I will say you seem to be a little impulsive. But no-ones perfect. And in some scenarios being able to make fast decisions is helpful.
I hope you make the decision that's right for you and that you find someone who helps you know you're amazing and perfect just the way you are.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
Ya, I would probably get out of that relationship if I were you :/
it would be a really bad end to a year and an half of good times but if they cant see that doing this will kill me idk if i can live on with them i really do love them tho i cant bring myself to it
Original post by Anonymous
it would be a really bad end to a year and an half of good times but if they cant see that doing this will kill me idk if i can live on with them i really do love them tho i cant bring myself to it
Yeah its really hard. Im sorry
Can I help in any way?
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