Geography help

hi everyone, please can you guys check this for me. it's due in on Friday and I'm panicking and stressing out because I suck at geography but I still wan to do well .







Deforestation is increasing at a rapid rate with NEE economies as many countries strive to develop fastly. One way is through energy development, such as building hydroelectric dam by cutting down trees to create reservoirs. An example is the Balbina dams in the Amazon Basin which destroyed 720km-squared of trees. In addition, the flooding of this dam had resulted with 920 square miles of trees to be destroyed. Although HED’s are highly efficient and a renewable source of energy, this has caused the loss of biodiversity in the Malaysian forests, as habitats are being destroyed, causing mass extinction.

Moreover, deforestation is increasing due to mining of minerals. With tropical rainforests having fertile soil, there is also minerals that can be mined, for instance gold. These causes trees being cut down for mining space as well as building roads in order to transport the minerals. This occurs in the Minas Gerais, Brazil, where the reserves contain diamonds that can be transported to high economies for jewellery. The economic development is it provides employment to local villagers as well as foreign income to the country. However, the vast loss of deforestation has caused soil erosion where the soil is no longer fertile as the rainfall has washed away the nutrients which would be absorbed by the plant roots as part of the nutrient cycle. Moreover, the carbon footprint is increased as the minerals are being transported by cargo planes as well as through sealed packages from the other end of the world. This suggest HIC are responsible for deforestation due to foreign exchange of a luxuries.

On the other hand, it can be argued that HIC countries and NEE economies aren’t the reason for the drastic measures of deforestation and global warming. In low-income countries, there are indigenous people traditionally hunt and gather food from the forests and use them to support them for survival, this method is sustainable. This is done through slash-and-burn, where the trees are cut down and then burnt, providing nutritious minerals for the soil to keep it fertile. An example of this method is in Thailand the indigenous people burn tress for agriculture to grow cash crops, for instance cocoa, sugar cane and tobacco, as well as cattle ranches. However, on April 14, 2020, this tradition method had caused uncontrollable fires costing the lives of thousands of animals and the nearby villagers, with 20% of the forest area being cleared away. This suggests that people in the lower spectrum of wealth had contributed to this disaster, despite this would not have occurred if they were not harvesting for high income countries.

In conclusion, I agree with this statement as HIC are exploiting NEE’s and LIC in order to support human luxuries, such as jewellery and providing electricity for families as the population increases. With these selfish acts happening, this impacts the wildlife and habitats built over thousands over used which destroy in matters of seconds, contributing to global warming.

Hi there!

First of all, with all abbreviations, make sure you set out what the abbreviation is first. For instance, when addressing Multinational Companies, you would say "There are many multinational companies (MNCs) that operate around the country....", and so forth - it's the more professional way of writing an essay and just saves any possible miscommunication.

With the first paragraph, after introducing your evidence, take a sentence or two just to review the effects of cutting down 720km of forest, and then go on to explain the additional unintended consequences - this just makes your point much more succinct and ensures it flows nicely. Also, take the opportunity to talk about why hydroelectric dams are efficient in their energy conversion, for the same aforementioned reasons.

Second paragraph - "there is also minerals" should be "there are also minerals" (small point, but just makes it read better). I would almost go as far as to say "Due to the fertile soil that is in abundance in tropical rainforests, there is a selection of minerals that can be accessed underground, such as gold and diamond".

Second paragraph - "These causes" should be "This causes" or "As a result". In the same line, "The economic development is" could be changed to "An economic advantage of this is that..."

In the second paragraph, it isn't "the vast loss of deforestation", it is the loss of forestry.

When talking about the carbon footprint, I would also mention that trees are responsible for taking in Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere in the photosynthesis cycle, and therefore a reduction in the number of trees available will result in a lack of photosynthesis and a reduction in the amount of Carbon Dioxide absorbed from the atmosphere.

In the third paragraph, you say "there are indigenous people traditionally hunt", make sure you add a "that" between "people" and "traditionally". In the sentence, "support them for survival" should be "support themselves for survival"

In the conclusion the line "With these selfish acts happening, this impacts the wildlife and habitats built over thousands over used which destroy in matters of seconds" doesn't make all that much sense - make sure you go back and check the wording is correct for what you want to say.


Finally
Just make sure you go through and check the grammar and legibility of the text. It includes a lot of good points, but just ensure that you have a piece of text that flows fluently.

I hope this helps!