Don't get on with my mum I am considering going to uni to escape from her

I have an offer at dream uni but not dream course I am considering going to uni anyway to get away from my mum. My mum is super controlling and incredibly critical of everything I do, all day she just uses me as her punching back at screams at anyone and everyone whenever she is not in a good mood.

I am not allowed to cook for example and she is constantly saying how I will get fat because I eat too much sweets and is obsessive over my weight. I feel like I am suffocating at home and walking on egg shells. She is having a go at me like everyday I am fed up with constantly being shouted at for the most random things.

I also have autism so I have sensory problems and the shouting is too much to handle. She makes me mental health worse because all she ever does is bring me down. I always support her in everything she does and she doesn't do that for me.

I am tempted to go to uni despite it not being my dream course just to escape from home because that's the only way I could afford to move out.

Reply 1

mathsalevels

I don’t think you should go just to get away from your mum. You should go to uni if you think you will enjoy your degree and if it will be useful for your future.

What other options would you consider if you don’t go to uni? Are there any other courses that interest you that you could apply for in clearing/adjustment? What course and uni is it if you don’t mind me asking?

Reply 2

username2825764

don't waste your one and only funding opportunity on a degree you don't really want to do.

Reply 3

Fermion.

Original post by stumptrump

don't waste your one and only funding opportunity on a degree you don't really want to do.

Find the course you want to do at an alternative uni and get away from her.

Reply 4

Anonymous17!

I agree with the people above. Wasting student finance on a course you don’t want to do is not a good idea, but I understand what you’re going through. My mum is exactly the same and ever since lockdown, I’ve just been screamed at constantly, put down and made to feel like sh*t. She’s always been like that but lockdown has just provided her with more opportunities to act this way. I feel you. I’ve been wanting to move out for ages but am not in a position to move in with other family or friends or get any other help. If you are, I would say look into those options instead of going to uni unless you will enjoy the course. If you don’t have any other options, I’m not sure what you could do sadly. Maybe try and get a job and save up money that way to leave home? That’s what I’m trying to do anyway.

Reply 5

ReadingMum

I read so many of these threads and wonder why some people have children if they are going to treat them like this :frown:

I'd echo the comment about not wasting your funding on the wrong course. Do you know what you actually want to study?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by ReadingMum

I read so many of these threads and wonder why some people have children if they are going to treat them like this :frown:

I'd echo the comment about not wasting your funding on the wrong course. Do you know what you actually want to study?

I have an offer to study Chinese from Edinburgh but I want to study medicine however that would involve going back to college for another year because I don’t have the right a levels. I am confused in regards to what it is I should be doing because I know after a Chinese the career prospects would be decent but it isn’t my dream and I feel added pressure as I want to get away from home because I am not getting on with my mum. I feel like uni is my only option for getting away from home.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous17!

London is very expensive if I was to work part time while going back to college I wouldn’t be able to earn enough money to survive.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Fermion.

Find the course you want to do at an alternative uni and get away from her.

My dream course medicine would require me to go back to college for another year which involves staying for another year.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by mathsalevels

I have offer to study Chinese at Edinburgh the course that interests me is medicine but I don’t have the right a levels so I would need to go back to college. So I would need to stay home for another year and clearing/adjustment is not an option for me. However Chinese is Probably a useful degree and I am having a hard time at home.

Reply 10

Fermion.

Original post by Anonymous

My dream course medicine would require me to go back to college for another year which involves staying for another year.

Then do that. What’s the point in settling for less just to get away from your mum?

Reply 11

ReadingMum

Those 2 courses are so wildly different that I think you need to take a step back and not rush into going to uni for escape. If you want to do medicine, and that requires further study, then you should seriously pursue this.
Maybe find a way to get out of the house more - now that exercise is no longer limited you could go for nice long walks. This could also be seen as you taking notice of her comments about weight (however inappropriate they may be).

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by ReadingMum

I would usually get away from her by going to the library but now they are closed so that’s not a possibility I go on long walks everyday I try to do 8km on average. I am on antipsychotics and I have problems with my Thyroid I am trying my best to control my weight but it is hard.