How can a virgin gain confidence?

I know lockdown hinders having new relationships/dates, but just wondering how as someone who's still a virgin (even after all the socialising at university) can gain confidence for the future?

Reply 1

Laurence010401

Meet people online
Maybe discuss the possibility of meeting when you’re allowed to

Reply 2

JoshDarnIt_

Quit yankin' yer todger for one, that **** saps your confidence

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Laurence010401

Meet people online
Maybe discuss the possibility of meeting when you’re allowed to

Tried apps but haven't really had good conversations there.

Not sure what other online sites could help

Reply 4

Laurence010401

Original post by Anonymous

Tried apps but haven't really had good conversations there.

Not sure what other online sites could help

It depends on factors like
• whether u are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, or just casual sex partners
• whether or not u wanna pay to use any sites/apps

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Laurence010401

It depends on factors like
• whether u are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, or just casual sex partners
• whether or not u wanna pay to use any sites/apps

I think if it was casual sex on the cards, I wouldn't turn it down but ideally a relationship in the long run

Not too keen on paying-paid for Tinder Gold once which wasn't that helpful

Reply 6

Laurence010401

Original post by Anonymous

I think if it was casual sex on the cards, I wouldn't turn it down but ideally a relationship in the long run

Not too keen on paying-paid for Tinder Gold once which wasn't that helpful

In any bio, Make sure u say u are looking for a long term relationship, If that’s what you want

Reply 7

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Arthur_Morgan

Quit yankin' yer todger for one, that sh*t saps your confidence

It boosts my self confidence.

It boosts it because it reminds me that I'm free to do whatever I want.
It boosts my self confidence because it makes me proud that I haven't fallen victim to the stupid no fap cult.
It boosts my confidence because I'm following my own narrative and not anyone else's.

My advice to any man: masturbate as much as YOU want.
If you're not having success with women there will be some other reason apart from your masturbation.
If you lack self confidence when it comes to meeting and talking to women, the best way to overcome that is to face down your fears. Face down your actual fears. Instead of looking at non-related issues in your life such as how often you masturbate.

All this no fap stuff about lowering your testosterone level when you masturbate is nonsense when it comes to how brave you are. Courage comes from you deciding that you are going to be brave. It doesn't come from your hormone levels.

No fap should be kicked into the dustbin of history along with all the other stupid cults we've had over the years.

Getting a summertime job in direct sales would be good experience for the OP. Being able to close sales will help you with women.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

No fap should be kicked into the dustbin of history along with all the other stupid cults we've had over the years.

You can't say this if you are going to say people are free to do what they want lol

Reply 9

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Anonymous

You can't say this if you are going to say people are free to do what they want lol

People were free to join the Nazi party in 1930's Germany. That was a stupid cult that has been sent to the dustbin of history.

People were free to join Charles Manson's cult in the 1960's.

People were free to join the Aum Supreme Truth cult in the 1980's.

OK, not all cults leads to murder.

How about the cult in 17th century cult in Holland of collecting Tulips?

Or the early 20th century cult of giving yourself a healthy glow by using cosmetics with radium as an ingredient?

Or the cult of eating tapeworm eggs as a way to lose weight?

Or the cult of going to Sanitariums in the early 20th century to receive enemas and mild electric shocks?

Or the various 19th century cults that believed that if you could get away from all the sin in the world, you could create the perfect, utopian society?

Just because people are free to do what they want, that doesn't mean to say that stupid cults should continue to exist.

Reply 10

josie71202

focus on self- improvement in this time

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

what's it to you that other people choose not to masturbate? does it make you feel inferior or something?

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

I'm a virgin and mostly blag my way when talking with girls. Worried about when I meet one after lockdown though if my performance iwll match my ego though.

Reply 13

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Anonymous

what's it to you that other people choose not to masturbate? does it make you feel inferior or something?

I don't mind what any other adult person does or doesn't do with their own body.

However, the opening post of this thread was from a virgin asking how to gain confidence.
The third post contained poor advice with an untrue / highly exagerated claim to back it up. I challenged that in an effort to give the opening poster the best guidance I can for the topic of this thread.

You have made 2 posts in this thread that have said nothing that could be of any use to the opening poster. Do you have anything to say that might be of use to the opening poster in his or her quest to gain more confidence?

Like any tips that would help him or her to face down their fears?
Such as visualising their fears, and then in their imagination shrinking them down to the size of a matchbox. Which they then crush in their imagination.
Or thinking of all the times they've lacked confidence in their lives and then overcome it. For example when they learnt to ride a bicycle or when they learnt to swim?

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

The third post contained poor advice with an untrue / highly exagerated claim to back it up.

It's not untrue for many people.

Reply 15

Jack22031994

Volunteer Team

Stop focusing on being a virgin. The right person isnt going to care, and the vast majority of people also dont, so you shouldnt either - because it's doing you no good. Focus on the qualities you do have etc - build confidence that way. Having sex will not fix a low self-confidence issue on it's own.