Help dealing with my sister.

If I ask my sister whether she needs help, I usually get a 'No, I'm fine'. If she does need help when I ask her, I help, no questions asked - but then she tells me I never 'look' like I want to help when she asks me.

If I don't ask, she'll tell me that I never offer to help and start shouting at how I never do this, always do that, etc...

All I get is the passive-aggressive back-chat of: "Someone could have helped do this/that", "I'm sick of cleaning up on my own", etc...

It's a never-ending cycle with her, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Reply 1

rheaishere

Original post by Anonymous

im sorry you're having a hard time when it seems like you are really trying to help her. how old are you both?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by rheaishere

h

im sorry you're having a hard time when it seems like you are really trying to help her. how old are you both?

In our early to mid-20s.

She says it's "demeaning" for her to ask me to help her?! If she does ask me and I say of course, I "don't look like" I want to help?! or she says "I'm fine".

She's like a nuclear bomb. Just like my brother, she's always ****ing right.

My parents have no trouble asking me for help, and I'm always there to lend a hand if my dad needs help with his building work or if my mum needs help in the garden.

What else am I supposed to do?

Reply 3

Moonbow

Original post by Anonymous

Oof. Big oof.

Reply 4

Roses.Are.Red

Original post by Anonymous

I think I would just leave her be. My sister can be like that sometimes too. It's annoying and sometimes I honestly just want to scream and ask her like what the hell do you want me to do about it. Mabye whenever she asks you to help, you can be really sweet and put a big smile on your face? Mabye then you would 'look like you want to help'. But otherwise, I would just let her do what she wants and hope she behaves more reasonably in the future.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Moonbow

Oof. Big oof.

What do you mean?

Reply 6

Moonbow

Original post by Anonymous

What do you mean?

I just wouldn’t know what to do either :redface:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by KelsieTaylor

I don't think she'll change unless she comes down from her high horse and realises how sanctimonious and self-righteous she's being.

She's extremely stubborn and confrontational.

When I told her that our youngest sister could choose how to react to the shock of having her skateboard accident... she just yells 'No one asked you anything' and she calls me childish lol

You're right it's extremely frustrating.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Moonbow

I just wouldn’t know what to do either :redface:

I see yeah...

I can't stop thinking I'm in the wrong, though, which makes me feel like I'm losing my sanity.

Should it be that hard for my sister to ask if I could help her, knowing that I'm ready to help whenever she asks??

Reply 9

username1339858_

Well then just leave her to it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do I think. I really don't want to be around her because it really is draining.

Reply 11

username1339858_

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do I think. I really don't want to be around her because it really is draining.

Some people are never happy/always have something to complain about. Used to be me, best thing you can do is to leave her to come to a realisation herself.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

I mean if she really needed the help this morning, instead of waiting to see if I would ask her, or making, as she said, "obvious cues" she needed help, she could have just asked?! I mean wtf?!

She said "When I'm banging the plates when I'm taking them out the dishwasher, I'm obviously trying to make you realise I need help"... why not ask me if I could help?!