The Student Room Group

Do you really care about your relationship?

Do you know anyone in a relationship who is like this, or maybe you are in one yourself?

I feel like there are quite a few people out there who get into relationships and don't care that greatly about the relationship itself. It is basically treated as if it is just a necessary typical normal part of life that people experience casually. I have seen this very very often where people are detached from their relationships in general.

I was watching a twitch streamer (streams games for a job, basically like hosting your own live video game show that people subscribe to) He does very very well for himself financially. He regularly streams for very very long hours, 14h+, and essentially 8+ every day. He also has a partner and two kids.


I just don't really understand it... Surely if you were in a relationship with someone, especially if you have kids, you would want to try and put away a lot of time to be with them? Go places on weekends perhaps, experience things together you know? Enjoy your time on this earth with your family.

I just don't think I view relationships like that? Is it so unusual?

Sometimes I think people don't quite have the perspective to understand how finding someone who wants to be with you is a special thing...? I have never been in a relationship and probably never will. I always thought relationships should be something cherished. I would want to see the world, explore, work together on things, grow together and enjoy the time together while you can. Sure it may not last, but try if you can you know?

Maybe I am just a massive softy and helpless romantic or something. Or maybe I am just straight wrong about this?
If I was in a relationship with anybody, I would let you know. Xx
Reply 2
Original post by Karisa96
If I was in a relationship with anybody, I would let you know. Xx

Well thank you :P
I’m in a relationship and we spend most of our time together but every relationship is different
Nobody really knows what a relationship is like unless you're in it yourself. So that streamer you mention might seem like he doesn't care about his relationship to you, but you don't know what he does when he goes offline or what his marriage is really like. It's very easy to judge relationships based on what the couple allows us to see. You have a very specific idea of what you want your relationship to be like, and that's great, good for you for knowing what you want. But that's not the same idea for everyone. As long as the people are happy in their relationships, then that's all that matters.
Original post by Opuspocus
Do you know anyone in a relationship who is like this, or maybe you are in one yourself?

I feel like there are quite a few people out there who get into relationships and don't care that greatly about the relationship itself. It is basically treated as if it is just a necessary typical normal part of life that people experience casually. I have seen this very very often where people are detached from their relationships in general.

I was watching a twitch streamer (streams games for a job, basically like hosting your own live video game show that people subscribe to) He does very very well for himself financially. He regularly streams for very very long hours, 14h+, and essentially 8+ every day. He also has a partner and two kids.


I just don't really understand it... Surely if you were in a relationship with someone, especially if you have kids, you would want to try and put away a lot of time to be with them? Go places on weekends perhaps, experience things together you know? Enjoy your time on this earth with your family.

I just don't think I view relationships like that? Is it so unusual?

Sometimes I think people don't quite have the perspective to understand how finding someone who wants to be with you is a special thing...? I have never been in a relationship and probably never will. I always thought relationships should be something cherished. I would want to see the world, explore, work together on things, grow together and enjoy the time together while you can. Sure it may not last, but try if you can you know?

Maybe I am just a massive softy and helpless romantic or something. Or maybe I am just straight wrong about this?

I know what you're talking about, I take relationships quite seriously.

I think many people stay long in relationships out of familiarity, security and fear of loneliness even if this isn't someone who excites them anymore. Including people who don't have kids/any obligation to stay. Dependency develops.

Some people are fine to go along with it for years despite not seeing marriage/forever as the ultimate goal. I personally couldn't do that. I mean, relationships should be a normal part of life because life without a partner later in your 40s-90s can be extremely lonely and also hard to manage sometimes. Having someone on your 'team' can be great as we can't always rely on friendships or family to last through those years.
Reply 6
Original post by DrawTheLine
Nobody really knows what a relationship is like unless you're in it yourself. So that streamer you mention might seem like he doesn't care about his relationship to you, but you don't know what he does when he goes offline or what his marriage is really like. It's very easy to judge relationships based on what the couple allows us to see. You have a very specific idea of what you want your relationship to be like, and that's great, good for you for knowing what you want. But that's not the same idea for everyone. As long as the people are happy in their relationships, then that's all that matters.

Yep that is very true, and I think I did neglect to say that if they are happy with the situation then that is great.

I do just think it seems very unbalanced. Not really what relationships are about in my world view... because really it does tie in to your world view. I am just a very positive person and feel lucky to be here. Along with this thinking that relationships should totally not be taken for granted, so I see them as something to be cherished and experiencing things together is a large part of them and life.
Different things for different people
Original post by Opuspocus
Yep that is very true, and I think I did neglect to say that if they are happy with the situation then that is great.

I do just think it seems very unbalanced. Not really what relationships are about in my world view... because really it does tie in to your world view. I am just a very positive person and feel lucky to be here. Along with this thinking that relationships should totally not be taken for granted, so I see them as something to be cherished and experiencing things together is a large part of them and life.

It's important to remember that you don't know whether someone else's relationship is cherished or not taken for granted etc. You're making judgements based on what they choose to let you see about their relationship. Focus on yourself and your potential relationships instead of focusing your energy on passing judgement on other people's relationships.
Reply 9
Original post by DrawTheLine
It's important to remember that you don't know whether someone else's relationship is cherished or not taken for granted etc. You're making judgements based on what they choose to let you see about their relationship. Focus on yourself and your potential relationships instead of focusing your energy on passing judgement on other people's relationships.

Nothing wrong with identifying what you think seems to be quite a different perspective on relationships. The example provided here being of someone who chooses to spend a ton of time working, when it is not actually required, rather than spending time with family. It doesn't have to be judgemental, it is an observation of a fact.

Using that observation as some kind of starting point, the thread topic is just discussion around the fact that some people do treat relationships differently. And that for some it is considered quite a casual affair compared to what others think such as myself. I think the fact that some consider relationships in quite a casual manner is really evident as there are so many people that jump from relationship to relationship and have problems regarding them.
Yh totally understand the confusion
I find it insensitive to others feelings

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