The Student Room Group

does he miss me?

Hi! Happy pride month<3

So I'm in a painful situation involved with romance, friendship, and hate. I had this best friend since middle school, we were the best buddies. My dumbass fell for him ever since i met him though... but he doesn't know that... So we drifted apart, according to him. He told his friend Mel, who is my close friend (she's 18, gives the best big sister advice ever) and he said "Me and her just drifted apart ever since our last big fight, things aren't the same. She always seems mad at me nowadays. Besides she's doing her own thing and focused on that Isaiah guy" His girlfriend that he was together with for 6 months broke up with him 3 weeks ago. You see , we were fine 3 weeks ago. We stopped talking like 6 days ago, so i don't understand still... why he has told his friends who he barely met this year, and it seems like everyone else except me??? I've known him and been friends with him longer than any of his 'close girl friends' he made this year. We were the best of friends and i told him things i've never, ever told anyone and he couldn't tell me? Like i get it, it was hard for him, but 3 weeks ? He still hasn't told me , i had to hear it from someone else. Also , a week ago was my birthday.
weeks before my birthday he always said "oh get ready for your birthday spam, I am going to post you so damn much!" and i was so excited:,)) because he put all this effort to post his gali and daniel and julian, like endless pictures and videos ! It's just friendship tradition.
My birthday, he texts me at 12 saying "happy birthday best friend!!!!" and some other stuff and he posts 1, ONE PICTURE of us from like 2 years ago and it said "happy birthday @kaitlyn we've known eachother for years" THAT WAS IT. all those years he called me his best friend, we've been on the phone for hours, facetimed, hung out, went to the movies together, carved pumpkins together, and been there for each other? I mean i know it's just a birthday post but it hurts? He put so much effort into literally EVERYONE ELSE who he barely met this year and me? I get a half-assed happy birthday and he made my expectations so much higher bragging about "oh don't worry your gonna get the spam of your life!" like if you aren't going to do it, then just tell me before , and don't lie about it. I literally stood there, waiting for more pictures or videos, because he has so many pictures of me. SO MANY SCREENSHOTS OF MY SNAPS, VIDEOS, PICTURES OF US! and you know at the time, he wasn't together with his girlfriend, and it was 2 weeks after they broke up. but i didn't know that, so i used him not wanting to make his girlfriend upset as a possibilty. But even my friends noticed the little to no effort he put.
So was he embarrassed of me because i am not cool enough? I mean his best buddies don't like me. My best buddies don't like him.

It's just like...do you guys think it's time to let the friendship go and i should stop putting all this time and energy overthinking. I see him in 6 weeks because of school so?
What I don't understand is why you're talking to this girl about what's going on in your friendship, and you're not talking to the actual guy it involves. So, you have feelings for him and he doesn't know it, and he thinks you're being moody with him and wanting to spend time with someone else. I assume you're doing that to try and get over him, yes?

But he doesn't know that. To him, it looks like you've just taken a step back from your friendship and he won't know why, because you're not talking about it with him.

You need to have a conversation, tell him exactly how you feel, and how you want to be close to him again.

Birthday posts on social media really don't mean much, they're all just for show, but if he thinks you're being moody and distant with him then why would he go to loads of effort with photos etc? If he thinks you're trying to get with another guy (Isaiah?) he might realise that it's not really appropriate to be gushing over you publicly, and if that's the case then he's actually being quite thoughtful and sensitive.

Long story short, talk to the guy! You're meant to be best friends, so you should be able to talk about anything that needs saying. There's no point talking to Mel, there's no point talking to us, because none of us know the situation as well as you two do!
Reply 2
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
What I don't understand is why you're talking to this girl about what's going on in your friendship, and you're not talking to the actual guy it involves. So, you have feelings for him and he doesn't know it, and he thinks you're being moody with him and wanting to spend time with someone else. I assume you're doing that to try and get over him, yes?

But he doesn't know that. To him, it looks like you've just taken a step back from your friendship and he won't know why, because you're not talking about it with him.

You need to have a conversation, tell him exactly how you feel, and how you want to be close to him again.

Birthday posts on social media really don't mean much, they're all just for show, but if he thinks you're being moody and distant with him then why would he go to loads of effort with photos etc? If he thinks you're trying to get with another guy (Isaiah?) he might realise that it's not really appropriate to be gushing over you publicly, and if that's the case then he's actually being quite thoughtful and sensitive.

Long story short, talk to the guy! You're meant to be best friends, so you should be able to talk about anything that needs saying. There's no point talking to Mel, there's no point talking to us, because none of us know the situation as well as you two do!

awww thank you! you see, he did like me before! He was going to ask me out a couple times but he chickened out. So instead, we acknowledged the fact that we liked eachother and remained best of friends. but now, we kind of aren't the same, i will admit. We fight a lot, over small or big things. We've tried ending our friendship but he always begged me not to and we made up. We've made eachother cry during our fights and i think that he realized that our friendship isn't the same like before. We are different people. I miss him so much, but for the wrong reasons. I like him, i don't think that i would be here right now asking for advice or even caring at all if there was no feelings involved. I want to talk to him about it but then i remember why i wanted to end the friendship before. So Isiah is this guy that i've been friends with since 6th grade, and ethan has never ever, ever met him. He simply KNOWS of him , because of me. he hates him. Never spoken to him, only has seen pictures and videos of him (because of me) . Ethan always told me "He's so ugly, i'm so much better looking" "Who's better looking me or Isiah?" and one time he made a tiktok of him lip-syncing to a song and being aggressive to the camera and said "that's gonna be me if i ever meet Isaiah" and he also said that if he ever met him when we hung out as a group or something, he wouldn't talk to him and he'd hang out with our friend Jaime the whole time. so i said "so you wouldn't hang out with me: ((? " and he said "i would , just to make sure Isaiah wouldn't try to do anything weird to you, or i might just have to kill him" and he always got mad when i brought him up so i stopped! One time in 8th grade (last year) i sent a picture of Isaiah to him and he saved it, the next week i saw his messages and he sent it to his friend julian making fun of the poor guy!! So i don't know if he said "she's focused on Isaiah" because he feels like im prioritizing someone else instead of him?? but i legit didn't shut him out of my life when he got a girlfriend? if anything, we texted too much.

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