The Student Room Group

I'm a transgender man. AMA

I understand that much of the distrust and hatred towards trans people is from misunderstanding and ignorance of the issues.
I'm happy for anyone to ask me questions, so they can further educate themselves on current issues trans people face. I only ask that these questions remain respectful and no hateful content is posted here. I will be reporting any bigoted content.
Ask away :smile:

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What have been the best and worst moments of your own personal transition? :hugs:
How did you know you were trans? Have you always known?
And how did you find it ‘coming out’ as trans?
Original post by Anonymous
I understand that much of the distrust and hatred towards trans people is from misunderstanding and ignorance of the issues.
I'm happy for anyone to ask me questions, so they can further educate themselves on current issues trans people face. I only ask that these questions remain respectful and no hateful content is posted here. I will be reporting any bigoted content.
Ask away :smile:


What's your favourite song?
how is it misunderstanding and ignorance?
Reply 5
what's your sexuality? (ignore if you don't want to answer it)
Reply 6
What age did you realize you were trans?
What age did you start transitioning?
Reply 7
Original post by CoolCavy
What have been the best and worst moments of your own personal transition? :hugs:

Best was probably getting my new passport, which has my new name on it, as well as documenting my sex as being male.
Worst was probably either my PE teacher trying to make me go through the girls changing room for spare kit (which is illegal btw) or being harassed in the street.

Original post by SusannaW
How did you know you were trans? Have you always known?
And how did you find it ‘coming out’ as trans?

I haven't always known. I realised when I was 13, but looking back to being a kid, I think there are signs.
I came out as 14, and whilst it wasn't perfect, it could have been SO much worse. My family has been pretty much fully accepting (I had some issues with my brother when I first came out, but not anymore). I've not lost any friends or family members after coming out, which is really positive.
That being said, I am awful at coming out. I texted my mum when she was on holiday.

Original post by Ye Olde Tavern
What's your favourite song?

As a musician this is a tough question to answer! At the moment, I've been listening to lots of Muse, and really love Shine (acoustic), would definitely recommend!
Reply 8
how'd you come out to your parents (unless that's still tba)?
do you get offended if someone accidentally calls you a female?
do you believe that refusing to date a transgender makes you transphobic?

just felt like asking some personal questions as I dont want to waste the oppotunity lol
Original post by Ciel.
what's your sexuality? (ignore if you don't want to answer it)

I'm bisexual, but I have a lean towards guys.

Original post by Joleee
how'd you come out to your parents (unless that's still tba)?

Long story. My dad asked my why I dressed like a boy on the way back from a trip, and basically asked me if I wanted to transition, and I said I wanted top surgery and possibly hormones. I took that as coming out and so texted my mum (who was on holiday) saying 'I just told dad so I might as well tell you, I'm trans'. So she started calling me my new name, but he didn't get the memo, so I then had to come out to him again with my new name aha.

Original post by LovelyMrFox
What age did you realize you were trans?
What age did you start transitioning?

I realised when I was 13, then came out when I was 14. I'm yet to start medical transition cause the waiting lists are like 3 years long :frown:

Original post by SirDaShawn
do you get offended if someone accidentally calls you a female?
do you believe that refusing to date a transgender makes you transphobic?

just felt like asking some personal questions as I dont want to waste the oppotunity lol

If it's an accident, whilst I will be upset and it does make me uncomfortable, I won't be offended.
If I correct them and they keep calling me she/her, or if they know I'm a trans man and keep using she/her, then I will get pretty annoyed, because that's deliberate.
I don't think it's transphobic as long as the reasoning isn't. If you say 'oh I'm not gonna date a trans man cause they're not real men', that's transphobic. If you say 'I won't date a trans person because I want bio kids' that's not transphobic and totally understandable.
THIS IS JUST AN OPINION I’m not being rude in anyway and Ik people usually say that before they begin being rude but in no way whatsoever is that my intention but as a hijabi girl my only place that I can fix my hijab or let my hair breathe or anything like that if I go out is in the women’s public restroom however I cannot do that if there’s a transgender male to female person as religiously they are still considered a male therefore I personally would never discriminate against a trans person however i feel this is unfair to such a vast amount of girls who wear the hijab and yes I realise your a female to male trans but I’m still wondering how to work around this situation
Therefore my question is - do you think it’s fair that this place should be taken away from hijabi women?
Original post by Anonymous
If it's an accident, whilst I will be upset and it does make me uncomfortable, I won't be offended.
If I correct them and they keep calling me she/her, or if they know I'm a trans man and keep using she/her, then I will get pretty annoyed, because that's deliberate.
I don't think it's transphobic as long as the reasoning isn't. If you say 'oh I'm not gonna date a trans man cause they're not real men', that's transphobic. If you say 'I won't date a trans person because I want bio kids' that's not transphobic and totally understandable.

but every body says that they said it in that thread here so are we all transphobic?
What made you wear girls clothes (don't feel you have to answer)
Please don't be upset or offended by my question. I can understand a male transitioning to female as after surgery they will no longer have a penis and testicles. But it doesn't work the other way around. They can't sew a real penis and testicles on you can they? So how can you ever be male? ( Hope I haven't offended you).
Original post by Anonymous
THIS IS JUST AN OPINION I’m not being rude in anyway and Ik people usually say that before they begin being rude but in no way whatsoever is that my intention but as a hijabi girl my only place that I can fix my hijab or let my hair breathe or anything like that if I go out is in the women’s public restroom however I cannot do that if there’s a transgender male to female person as religiously they are still considered a male therefore I personally would never discriminate against a trans person however i feel this is unfair to such a vast amount of girls who wear the hijab and yes I realise your a female to male trans but I’m still wondering how to work around this situation


Original post by Anonymous
Therefore my question is - do you think it’s fair that this place should be taken away from hijabi women?

He's a trans male so it's female to male and he wouldn’t be using the girl's bathroom in the first place.
Probably should have read beyond that title
Do you think it is easier to be a transgender male than a transgender female?
Original post by Anonymous
I understand that much of the distrust and hatred towards trans people is from misunderstanding and ignorance of the issues.
I'm happy for anyone to ask me questions, so they can further educate themselves on current issues trans people face. I only ask that these questions remain respectful and no hateful content is posted here. I will be reporting any bigoted content.
Ask away :smile:

What hurts/upsets you the most about society's (lack of) understanding of trans issues? What is one thing you wish you could tell people?
Original post by Anonymous
THIS IS JUST AN OPINION I’m not being rude in anyway and Ik people usually say that before they begin being rude but in no way whatsoever is that my intention but as a hijabi girl my only place that I can fix my hijab or let my hair breathe or anything like that if I go out is in the women’s public restroom however I cannot do that if there’s a transgender male to female person as religiously they are still considered a male therefore I personally would never discriminate against a trans person however i feel this is unfair to such a vast amount of girls who wear the hijab and yes I realise your a female to male trans but I’m still wondering how to work around this situation

Original post by Anonymous
Therefore my question is - do you think it’s fair that this place should be taken away from hijabi women?

Hi.
I understand that the hijab is an important part of religion for some people (as are other head coverings for other religions), and I know that the hijab is not meant to be taken off around men who are not part of the family, and I fully support your right to express your religion through wearing a hijab.

However, trans women are not men, and it is transphobic to say they are, whatever your reasoning behind it. If you want to try and get people like me (who are 'biologically female') in the women's changing rooms and toilets, then you'll have ACTUAL men, with beards, flat chests, deep voices etc in the women's toilets, which would surely be worse?

Original post by Anonymous
but every body says that they said it in that thread here so are we all transphobic?

The one about whether it's transphobic to not date trans people I assume?
It is a transphobic thing to say in any situation, and that does not change in the context of dating. Trans men are real men and trans women are real women.

Original post by Anonymous
What made you wear girls clothes (don't feel you have to answer)

I'm not sure whether you think I'm a trans women (mtf) or if you're talking about when I was a kid so I'll just specify here:
I am a trans man. This means I 'used to be a girl', or I used to present as a girl.
As for why I wore girls clothes when I was a kid: I didn't, exclusively, but I mostly just wore what my parents bought me.

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