Depressed, Lonely, No girlfriend, No job, Only my GCSE's as qualifications.
Hi...
I'm writing this more to vent, and put my feelings out there than anything else. So, I finished school and got my GCSE's (very below average grades - ALL C's). Despite these grades, I still managed to get into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) which I was relieved about as I thought I wasn't going to make it. However, just 3 or 4 months into Sixth Form I started falling behind on work MASSIVELY due to lack of effort and motivation, which led me (3 months later, 7 months into my first year) to drop out. After this I didn't know what to do... Note that I have very high anxiety with meeting new people and new places, so I had no motivation / desire to get a job which has led me to this point... still... with no job... nearly 3 years after dropping out locked in my room everyday, lonely playing video games for the whole time. I'm extremely depressed. I've never had a girlfriend, I struggle to make friends as I am very unsocial, so the ones I made in school were strictly school friends, I never once went out with them to do things. All in all I'm lost as **** and honestly don't know what to do. I feel like a complete ****ing loser and a disappointment to everyone in my family.
As I said, I'm mainly am writing this to vent, but any advice which isn't the normal cliché **** which I hear everywhere I would appreciate it.
I'm writing this more to vent, and put my feelings out there than anything else. So, I finished school and got my GCSE's (very below average grades - ALL C's). Despite these grades, I still managed to get into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) which I was relieved about as I thought I wasn't going to make it. However, just 3 or 4 months into Sixth Form I started falling behind on work MASSIVELY due to lack of effort and motivation, which led me (3 months later, 7 months into my first year) to drop out. After this I didn't know what to do... Note that I have very high anxiety with meeting new people and new places, so I had no motivation / desire to get a job which has led me to this point... still... with no job... nearly 3 years after dropping out locked in my room everyday, lonely playing video games for the whole time. I'm extremely depressed. I've never had a girlfriend, I struggle to make friends as I am very unsocial, so the ones I made in school were strictly school friends, I never once went out with them to do things. All in all I'm lost as **** and honestly don't know what to do. I feel like a complete ****ing loser and a disappointment to everyone in my family.
As I said, I'm mainly am writing this to vent, but any advice which isn't the normal cliché **** which I hear everywhere I would appreciate it.
No girlfriend is the first thing he must have
He said nothing about wanting to get a girlfriend to mother him. Its totally normal for him to want a girlfriend at his age and understandably painful not to have one.
I also think its harsh to judge him for not feeling motivated. That's a sign of depression. People don't choose depression. There's usually root causes of it, especially in the modern world. Its hard to clamber out of. Making someone feel bad for feeling bad doesn't help.
OP, the solace of video games can be a short-term means of self-medication, but is not a long-term answer as I think you know.
I strongly, strongly advise looking into CBT. Try to get an actual therapist if you can, though its hard. But you can self-learn the framework of CBT. This will help you discover a lot about your thoughts, feelings and behavior (which form a vicious cycle).
In short, depression makes a person deeply irrational, which leads to stagnation and self-destructive outcomes. But by learning to view your thoughts, feelings and actions with a bit of objectivity, you can start to break the cycle.
Seriously if you can do one thing, get a book on CBT.
I also think its harsh to judge him for not feeling motivated. That's a sign of depression. People don't choose depression. There's usually root causes of it, especially in the modern world. Its hard to clamber out of. Making someone feel bad for feeling bad doesn't help.
OP, the solace of video games can be a short-term means of self-medication, but is not a long-term answer as I think you know.
I strongly, strongly advise looking into CBT. Try to get an actual therapist if you can, though its hard. But you can self-learn the framework of CBT. This will help you discover a lot about your thoughts, feelings and behavior (which form a vicious cycle).
In short, depression makes a person deeply irrational, which leads to stagnation and self-destructive outcomes. But by learning to view your thoughts, feelings and actions with a bit of objectivity, you can start to break the cycle.
Seriously if you can do one thing, get a book on CBT.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi...
I'm writing this more to vent, and put my feelings out there than anything else. So, I finished school and got my GCSE's (very below average grades - ALL C's). Despite these grades, I still managed to get into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) which I was relieved about as I thought I wasn't going to make it. However, just 3 or 4 months into Sixth Form I started falling behind on work MASSIVELY due to lack of effort and motivation, which led me (3 months later, 7 months into my first year) to drop out. After this I didn't know what to do... Note that I have very high anxiety with meeting new people and new places, so I had no motivation / desire to get a job which has led me to this point... still... with no job... nearly 3 years after dropping out locked in my room everyday, lonely playing video games for the whole time. I'm extremely depressed. I've never had a girlfriend, I struggle to make friends as I am very unsocial, so the ones I made in school were strictly school friends, I never once went out with them to do things. All in all I'm lost as **** and honestly don't know what to do. I feel like a complete ****ing loser and a disappointment to everyone in my family.
As I said, I'm mainly am writing this to vent, but any advice which isn't the normal cliché **** which I hear everywhere I would appreciate it.
I'm writing this more to vent, and put my feelings out there than anything else. So, I finished school and got my GCSE's (very below average grades - ALL C's). Despite these grades, I still managed to get into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) which I was relieved about as I thought I wasn't going to make it. However, just 3 or 4 months into Sixth Form I started falling behind on work MASSIVELY due to lack of effort and motivation, which led me (3 months later, 7 months into my first year) to drop out. After this I didn't know what to do... Note that I have very high anxiety with meeting new people and new places, so I had no motivation / desire to get a job which has led me to this point... still... with no job... nearly 3 years after dropping out locked in my room everyday, lonely playing video games for the whole time. I'm extremely depressed. I've never had a girlfriend, I struggle to make friends as I am very unsocial, so the ones I made in school were strictly school friends, I never once went out with them to do things. All in all I'm lost as **** and honestly don't know what to do. I feel like a complete ****ing loser and a disappointment to everyone in my family.
As I said, I'm mainly am writing this to vent, but any advice which isn't the normal cliché **** which I hear everywhere I would appreciate it.
this is very scary.. its like we're living the same life.. same grades, same problems everything no way
Original post by Anonymous
this is very scary.. its like we're living the same life.. same grades, same problems everything no way
3 years out of sixth form?
Original post by Anonymous
3 years out of sixth form?
YES well 2 years out bc i didnt know what to do.. didnt think education was for me.. now currently in my final year 13.. still dont know what to do
face your fears and rise. I’m wondering what happened to you now.
Original post by Anonymous
YES well 2 years out bc i didnt know what to do.. didnt think education was for me.. now currently in my final year 13.. still dont know what to do
two years out after yr 11? and no worries in not knowing what to do just get the grades first. then you need to get experience and be proactive in searching for what you want. job on the side to keep you grounded.
Original post by Anonymous
two years out after yr 11? and no worries in not knowing what to do just get the grades first. then you need to get experience and be proactive in searching for what you want. job on the side to keep you grounded.
yes.. made me very depressed felt like i was missing out on everything.. and yes, i did have a job for a while but then i left to go back into education.
you're absolutely right.. i should get the grades first and focus on what infront of me than to keep looking forward onto what i want to do next.. thank you for the advice, very much appreciate it
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