The Student Room Group

This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Am I a hoe?

I am a virgin BUT I send inappropriate pics and sext with guys on snapchat. I feel like a hoe because im not just sexting with one guy but many guys. I feel like im leading some of them on as well because they think im only interested in them and they tell me how much they like me. one guy even told me how he loved me so much which I found cringy and creepy but I don't wanna stop talking to him since he's a sweet guy. So does this mean I am a hoe?

Scroll to see replies

Well by definition kind of but not really as a hoe would have a lot of sex and you're a virgin. :/

Just stick to one guy and be careful who send those pics to
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy
Labels like this are relatively meaningless.

Why is it you feel the need to do these things? With multiple guys? And how old are you? (I'm not asking to patronise you, just interested in what stage in life you're at)

Chances are you will 'graduate' out of it at some point once you loose your virginity and be looking for actual hookups with multiple guys, and behave the same way towards them then. Once you 'normalise' this kind of behavior in your own mind, you stop thinking there's anything wrong with it, often even once you have a partner.
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by SuperiorPotato
Well by definition kind of but not really as a hoe would have a lot of sex and you're a virgin. :/

Just stick to one guy and be careful who send those pics to

Focusing on one guy didn't turn out well for me in the past so I dont know if i wanna do that again :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy

Right, you answered my question there.

If you let these experiences undermine your personality, then you are increasingly unlikely to find the 'right guy' who won't cheat on you.
(edited 3 years ago)
be careful when u send pics
Reply 7
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by NonIndigenous
Labels like this are relatively meaningless.

Why is it you feel the need to do these things? With multiple guys? And how old are you? (I'm not asking to patronise you, just interested in what stage in life you're at)

Chances are you will 'graduate' out of it at some point once you loose your virginity and be looking for actual hookups with multiple guys, and behave the same way towards them then. Once you 'normalise' this kind of behavior in your own mind, you stop thinking there's anything wrong with it, often even once you have a partner.

I'm 16. Yea I hope I 'graduate' out of it soon, summer has been so boring so I've been spending too much time on snapchat to kill time now I'm kind of addicted to it
It's like, you know what he did was wrong.

So now, you go and do the same to others? How does that solve your problem? It doesn't, in the long term. You're overlooking the bigger picture.
Original post by Anonymous
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy

Perhaps you put too much energy into your first relationship? If you 'needed' him more than he needed you, it put him at higher risk of taking you for granted and therefore cheating. It put him in a position of power over you, and he abused it because either he was immature or an ar.sehole who knew what he was doing and stringing you along on purpose.

That doesn't mean you need to divide your attention across 10 or 15 different guys (however many it is).

Having 1, is much healthier (mentally). Control the amount of attention you give him so that it matches approximately that which he gives you. Test the waters occasionally to see if he's interested in more, and if so, turn it up a notch. In the meantime, find other constructive interests to spend your attention on.

I have another question: what sort of social circles have you got? Lots of friends? Not many? What sorts of things do they do? And do you talk about this with any of them?
(edited 3 years ago)
So long as it’s consensual send what you like. But I’d be careful sending intimate photos once you’ve taken them they are out there & there’s no way to get them back, & they could be misused especially by a spurned person who thought you were really into them & not.

Flirt with as many guys as you want, ( try before you buy lol) if it’s all online it doesn’t seem that serious anyway. So the person saying they love you does seem quite cringe.( Though it depends how long you’ve been messaging Them)
Its when you’re starting to date guys you should consider being Monogamous. Or it’s ok if you’re polyamorous, but certainly put that out there if you are getting serious with someone.
Original post by NonIndigenous
It's like, you know what he did was wrong.

So now, you go and do the same to others? How does that solve your problem? It doesn't, in the long term. You're overlooking the bigger picture.

Ik but they're not even that serious. It's all online it's not like I'm in relationship with a guy and doing all this behind his back. I can't stay loyal to any of them because why should I?
Depends on how well you can dig up soil i suppose :beard:
If it was sex instead of sexy then you’d be a hoe
Original post by NonIndigenous
Perhaps you put too much energy into your first relationship? If you 'needed' him more than he needed you, it put him at higher risk of taking you for granted and therefore cheating. It put him in a position of power over you, and he abused it because either he was immature or an ar.sehole who knew what he was doing and stringing you along on purpose.

That doesn't mean you need to divide your attention across 10 or 15 different guys (however many it is).

Having 1, is much healthier (mentally). Control the amount of attention you give him so that it matches approximately that which he gives you. Test the waters occasionally to see if he's interested in more, and if so, turn it up a notch. In the meantime, find other constructive interests to spend your attention on.

I have another question: what sort of social circles have you got? Lots of friends? Not many? What sorts of things do they do? And do you talk about this with any of them?

There isn't one guy I'm particularly interested in. What one guy doesn't have, another one does. I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys.

And I don't have that many friends, when I did go to school I had many friends to hang out but now it's summer I don't really hang out with many of them so I get bored all the time. And my friends are good people who don't do drugs, focus on their education etc. I talk about some of the things to one best friend but I don't share everything with her because she doesn't expect this from me.
Original post by Anonymous
Ik but they're not even that serious. It's all online it's not like I'm in relationship with a guy and doing all this behind his back. I can't stay loyal to any of them because why should I?

That's probably fine, provided you remember to hold onto those standards once you start meeting people in person and get into a relationship.

That guy said he "loves" you sounds a bit much. Most likely not your fault for him galloping off with his feelings this way so soon, before you two have even met.

I don't think you're a bad person by the way. From your post, you don't sound like it. You do think about others. But you shouldn't let your past bitter experience get the better of you and let it effect how you treat other people in the future. Change you own behavior, ok. Control your feelings (just like that guy who you called 'creepy' should be doing). But don't 'use' people in this way. That's dangerous. There are people out there who you will find are far better at these games than you could probably ever hope to be no matter with how much practice you get (because as I said, you don't sound like a bad person), and it's not a competition you should want to enter, trust me.
(edited 3 years ago)
Yeah you are no offence
Original post by RealLifeJoker
If it was sex instead of sexy then you’d be a hoe

Oh please, hoe is a stigma & based around slut shaming, guys sleeping with many girls, in the majority don’t get called anything shameful
I don't want to tell him I don't feel the same way because he will be hurt and then stop talking to me. And I actually enjoy his company (as a friend) but I freaked out when he told me he loved me because we have only known each other for a few months.
Actually no, unless the intimate photos weren’t consensual. You can chat & flirt with as many people as you want online. It’s when you start dating & forming relationships, or profess love when ya just messing around that I’d lambast anyone of any gender.

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you