approaching strangers in public how often do you do it?
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Original post by Castrah
I guess most of it is down to context. I don’t personally do it, but I’d never have a problem with someone coming up to me randomly and starting a conversation. If I were on my own in a coffee shop, in a queue somewhere, chilling at a park. I welcome chat with people generally speaking. However the British nature is to find that slightly weird, and you probably wouldn’t get the best of responses most of the time. Don’t let that stop you though!
Yeah I noticed that Ive only been living here for a year and people in public seem to be keep to themselves. Ig i should've made more friends before lock down
If you are really struggling to talk to people, may I suggest perhaps doing some low-investment volunteering?
Doesn't have to be anything big, but that's one way to introduce yourself to people you may not otherwise have the opportunity to!
Work/Education are how are know most of my current friends, and talking to people via that tends to be the way I make friends, but that's not to say there aren't other avenues!
Doesn't have to be anything big, but that's one way to introduce yourself to people you may not otherwise have the opportunity to!
Work/Education are how are know most of my current friends, and talking to people via that tends to be the way I make friends, but that's not to say there aren't other avenues!
Don’t try and do it at the moment. Covid spreads by close interactions and if you’re getting close to strangers then you are putting yourself, the stranger and the wider community at risk.
You don't
Original post by bvllvh
omg I went to the park today with that same intention but I just couldn't bring myself to do it 
no elderly though
no elderly thoughAt the moment I would advise against it as other users have done, especially the elderly, ironically it might be considered anti-social behaviour. I know it doesn't beat people in person but simply making friends online is better than nothing and here is full of absolutely wonderful peeps. As others have also said try and join things like volunteering or what not, then when things are better you can try and talk to strangers. Hope you are well though
It's very OK for you to walk up to people, but not too close at the moment, and to start speaking with them.
If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."
Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!
If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.
Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.
Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.
There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.
Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.
Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."
Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!
If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.
Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.
Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.
There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.
Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.
Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
Original post by bvllvh
I'm trying to work on my social skill and wanted to know if its okay or creepy and to randomly try talk to someone I wouldn't know? since lock-down has made me a complete recluse.
creepy. unless you're ridiculously good looking. otherwise, stay away...
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
It's very OK for you to walk up to people, but not too close at the moment, and to start speaking with them.
If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."
Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!
If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.
Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.
Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.
There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.
Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.
Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."
Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!
If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.
Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.
Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.
There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.
Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.
Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
Have you ever used those lines on a stranger?
Original post by YaliaV
Have you ever used those lines on a stranger?
Yes, and quite a few variations on those lines. Plus loads of other stuff that came into my head at the time.
I'm not sure if I've ever actually said "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you." But I have opened with similar phrases that were as obnoxiously direct. We all make mistakes. Which is OK. As long as we learn from them.
Original post by Ciel.
creepy. unless you're ridiculously good looking. otherwise, stay away...
some will be creeped out and hate it, some will like it, some will love it..
here's a vid especially for you to highlight that
Spoiler
Original post by ANM775
some will be creeped out and hate it, some will like it, some will love it..
here's a vid especially for you to highlight that
here's a vid especially for you to highlight that
Spoiler
it's 18 min long i'm not watching the whole thing... tbh he has zero charm. surprised he got that many. but yeah that kinda says a lot about our standards, haha.
Original post by Ciel.
it's 18 min long i'm not watching the whole thing... tbh he has zero charm. surprised he got that many. but yeah that kinda says a lot about our standards, haha.
He was deliberately acting like that for the purpose of the experiment.
He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]
Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.
which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
Original post by ANM775
He was deliberately acting like that for the purpose of the experiment.
He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]
Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.
which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]
Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.
which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
because men are horny *******s, probably
anyway, i think it's a bit weird to experiment on people like that. they're probably still waiting for him to text them, lol
Original post by Deggs_14
Never, it’s rude and people might think you’re trying to steal something from them or assault them, especially a woman on her own.
Honestly I'm hardly intimidating, I'm pretty small at 5'7 and often get called polite
Original post by Deggs_14
Never, it’s rude and people might think you’re trying to steal something from them or assault them, especially a woman on her own.
This is completely incorrect. A horrific look on today's society. Give people more credit. Either some people will make conversation, or others will tell you to piss off. It's the culture. But to say you should never talk to people especially women on their own? Id of never met some of my ex girlfriends if I never did that.
Be bold with it, just don't be over the top. And take no as an answer. It only gets weird if you make it so.
Original post by ANM775
He was deliberately acting like that for the purpose of the experiment.
He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]
Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.
which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]
Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.
which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
There is a huge difference in how quickly - on average - a man will find someone to have a sexual relationship with between
someone who is unaware of Game and has poor "natural Game",
someone that is at beginner level at Game,
someone that is at intermediate level
someone that is an advanced level PUA.
In the same way that there is a huge difference in sales between different sales people in any direct selling job.
Also the goal isn't to get phone numbers. The primary goal is to find someone to have a sexual relationship with. The secondary goal is to have a fun / enjoyable time doing it, for you and the people you speak with. If you achieve the secondary goal, the first goal becomes more likely.
Original post by Castrah
This is completely incorrect. A horrific look on today's society. Give people more credit. Either some people will make conversation, or others will tell you to piss off. It's the culture. But to say you should never talk to people especially women on their own? Id of never met some of my ex girlfriends if I never did that.
Be bold with it, just don't be over the top. And take no as an answer. It only gets weird if you make it so.
Be bold with it, just don't be over the top. And take no as an answer. It only gets weird if you make it so.
Take a hard no as an answer.
Treat a soft no as a test that you have to pass.
Sometimes starting a conversation is like starting a roller petrol lawnmower. You have to yank the chord a few times from cold before it will get running.
How you respond to their initial response is more important than the first words that you say to them.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
There is a huge difference in how quickly - on average - a man will find someone to have a sexual relationship with between
someone who is unaware of Game and has poor "natural Game",
someone that is at beginner level at Game,
someone that is at intermediate level
someone that is an advanced level PUA.
In the same way that there is a huge difference in sales between different sales people in any direct selling job.
Also the goal isn't to get phone numbers. The primary goal is to find someone to have a sexual relationship with. The secondary goal is to have a fun / enjoyable time doing it, for you and the people you speak with. If you achieve the secondary goal, the first goal becomes more likely.
someone who is unaware of Game and has poor "natural Game",
someone that is at beginner level at Game,
someone that is at intermediate level
someone that is an advanced level PUA.
In the same way that there is a huge difference in sales between different sales people in any direct selling job.
Also the goal isn't to get phone numbers. The primary goal is to find someone to have a sexual relationship with. The secondary goal is to have a fun / enjoyable time doing it, for you and the people you speak with. If you achieve the secondary goal, the first goal becomes more likely.
I just typed out a reply and then this stupid website forwarded me to a virgin media ad page and i lost my reply
Sales is not as closely related to "game" as you think.
If I am selling a parker pen, and you are selling a parker pen we are selling the same product and it is directly comparable.
if I am trying to chat up a woman and you are trying to chat up a woman we both are not brandishing the same product [unless you are my long lost twin]. Therefore even if we say exactly the same things our results will differ.
The ultimate goal is not to get phone numbers, you are absolutely right. but typically that is seen as a means to an end.., and that is what is mostly "taught" when it comes to daytime encounters. If we are being realistic, it is very unlikely a man will lead a woman straight to the bedroom off a daytime encounter so some form of contact [like phone number] is needed 99% of the time.
PUA's teach that the way you stop a woman, and engage her with your conversation skills/verbal technique has a massive impact over your success... , they also teach you to give the woman a big compliment right off that bat. however from watching the video I mentioned [asking for 100 girls phone numbers] it seems that a person just point blank going up to women and asking their number will yield a similar amount of phone numbers to a guy spending all that time and effort using PUA techniques.
.
Yes of course a large part of sales is the product.
There's nothing stopping anyone reading this from being a great "product" as a boyfriend or girlfriend. For all we know bvllvh might already be a really good product. If he has the courage to go up to strangers and start conversations with them then that will enhance him as a product. Because having courage and developing social skills are attractive traits.
Everyone owes it to themselves to become the best "product" they can be. They also owe it to themselves to get as good as they can at selling this great "product". Otherwise they are condemning themselves to seeing women (or men) that they want go off with bad boys (girls) / jerks / inferior men (women).
There's nothing stopping anyone reading this from being a great "product" as a boyfriend or girlfriend. For all we know bvllvh might already be a really good product. If he has the courage to go up to strangers and start conversations with them then that will enhance him as a product. Because having courage and developing social skills are attractive traits.
Everyone owes it to themselves to become the best "product" they can be. They also owe it to themselves to get as good as they can at selling this great "product". Otherwise they are condemning themselves to seeing women (or men) that they want go off with bad boys (girls) / jerks / inferior men (women).
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