I struggle with both body dismorphia and also being fat

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
I feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious. As I have strong track record of being a failure. At my fattest I was 78kg and I got down to 68kg. I also built my muscle up to a 100kg bench, and 180kg deadlift. Yet I FEEL LIKE I LOOK LIKE I HAVE NEVER STEPPED FOOT IN A GYM. I am 5’8 72kg 31 inch waist (before breakfast)

This morning I decided every morning on my phone I will write 5 things that I like about myself, everyday. But after gym I just started feeling extremely overwhelmed.

I also feel *****y about my skin usually. And I deleted snapchat because I hated seeing my face on the front camera. I feel like I have moon craters on my forehead. I take care of my skin and have a routine but no success yet.

The sad thing is that I only started feeling these thoughts 2 years ago when I had a hard time making friends first year uni. I’m going to my third year and I am more optimistic as I have matured a bit more and have new hobbies
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Anonymous #1
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I say I feel overwhelmed after gym because the way and amount of exercise I do and diet means I am a failure. So I feel crippling anxiety that my continued work won’t bring results because it obviously hasn’t already
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious. As I have strong track record of being a failure. At my fattest I was 78kg and I got down to 68kg. I also built my muscle up to a 100kg bench, and 180kg deadlift. Yet I FEEL LIKE I LOOK LIKE I HAVE NEVER STEPPED FOOT IN A GYM. I am 5’8 72kg 31 inch waist (before breakfast)

This morning I decided every morning on my phone I will write 5 things that I like about myself, everyday. But after gym I just started feeling extremely overwhelmed.

I also feel *****y about my skin usually. And I deleted snapchat because I hated seeing my face on the front camera. I feel like I have moon craters on my forehead. I take care of my skin and have a routine but no success yet.

The sad thing is that I only started feeling these thoughts 2 years ago when I had a hard time making friends first year uni. I’m going to my third year and I am more optimistic as I have matured a bit more and have new hobbies
looking at the stats you've listed, you are a HEALTHY weight for your height.
also, please please please be aware that weight is not a good marker for "being fat/thin" as muscle weighs MUCH more than fat does.
given what amazing weights you've been lifting, i think its safe to say you have a lot of muscles which may be keeping your kg higher than you want it - but this doesn't mean you're "fat"
the bottom line is that society sucks and wants to make everyone hate their own bodies to capitalise off our insecurities. I hope one day soon you will see yourself as others see you- beautiful and more importantly, healthy.
wishing you luck and happiness xx
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
looking at the stats you've listed, you are a HEALTHY weight for your height.
also, please please please be aware that weight is not a good marker for "being fat/thin" as muscle weighs MUCH more than fat does.
given what amazing weights you've been lifting, i think its safe to say you have a lot of muscles which may be keeping your kg higher than you want it - but this doesn't mean you're "fat"
the bottom line is that society sucks and wants to make everyone hate their own bodies to capitalise off our insecurities. I hope one day soon you will see yourself as others see you- beautiful and more importantly, healthy.
wishing you luck and happiness xx
Thanks tbh the number itself 72 doesn’t bother me. Although numbers do bother me when I am trying to lose weight, and I am weighing myself everyday...

It’s how I look that bother me.... I guess I don’t look skinny or fat. But I look horrible and certainly don’t look like I workout as much as I actually do.
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BurstingBubbles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious. As I have strong track record of being a failure. At my fattest I was 78kg and I got down to 68kg. I also built my muscle up to a 100kg bench, and 180kg deadlift. Yet I FEEL LIKE I LOOK LIKE I HAVE NEVER STEPPED FOOT IN A GYM. I am 5’8 72kg 31 inch waist (before breakfast)

This morning I decided every morning on my phone I will write 5 things that I like about myself, everyday. But after gym I just started feeling extremely overwhelmed.

I also feel *****y about my skin usually. And I deleted snapchat because I hated seeing my face on the front camera. I feel like I have moon craters on my forehead. I take care of my skin and have a routine but no success yet.

The sad thing is that I only started feeling these thoughts 2 years ago when I had a hard time making friends first year uni. I’m going to my third year and I am more optimistic as I have matured a bit more and have new hobbies
Firstly, at 5'8 and 72kg you're not fat. Assuming that you're female, at 5'8 you can be up to 74kg and still be within the healthy BMI range. You may want to tone up a bit, but so do I at 64kg and 5'8. Just because we have a bit of extra fat in areas doesn't mean we are fat Also if you're more muscley then you will weigh more and that's okay.

Do you have a goal in mind? A goal is not only motivational but also means you can put a bit more of a plan together to get to the goal. For example if you have a weight goal you can think okay I want to lose x amount of weight a week or a month and then tailor your diet and exercise around that. As I'm sure you already know, you'll need to eat less calories than you burn. About 500 less a day will mean losing a pound a week. But this doesn't take into account if you want to gain muscle - because then your weight may not change as much. You're better going off body fat in that case. You can get scales that measure body fat (although their accuracy can be questionable) and there are calculators online based on measurements such as waist, hips, and arms.

In terms of your skin, you're probably best seeking professional advice about that. Your GP may be able to remmend products or a specialist to look at your skin.

I know it's hard but try to remember that your weight and looks don't define you. They're a part of who you are, yes, but (as you're doing) think about other aspects of you and your personality etc. Other people probably haven't even noticed your skin or weight - we think people think a lot more about us than they do really. Most people are too preoccupied with their own insecurities and life. Again I know it's hard, but try to put yourself out there to make friends. You'll find most people are actually really insecure too and need a kind friend like you
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Anonymous #2
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Report 2 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks tbh the number itself 72 doesn’t bother me. Although numbers do bother me when I am trying to lose weight, and I am weighing myself everyday...

It’s how I look that bother me.... I guess I don’t look skinny or fat. But I look horrible and certainly don’t look like I workout as much as I actually do.
I would say that its might not acc be helpful to weigh yourself daily- it might do more harm than good if bc everyones weight naturally fluctuates and there's no point beating yourself up over natural fluctuation. it could be a better idea to weigh yourself over regular weekly intervals/ monthly ones (bearing in mind that weight changes w the menstrual cycle)

the original point you mentioned is a really good idea, (writing good things about yourself every morning) because i think that what is getting you down is not actually the way you look, but the way that you think you look.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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(Original post by BurstingBubbles)
Firstly, at 5'8 and 72kg you're not fat. Assuming that you're female, at 5'8 you can be up to 74kg and still be within the healthy BMI range. You may want to tone up a bit, but so do I at 64kg and 5'8. Just because we have a bit of extra fat in areas doesn't mean we are fat Also if you're more muscley then you will weigh more and that's okay.

Do you have a goal in mind? A goal is not only motivational but also means you can put a bit more of a plan together to get to the goal. For example if you have a weight goal you can think okay I want to lose x amount of weight a week or a month and then tailor your diet and exercise around that. As I'm sure you already know, you'll need to eat less calories than you burn. About 500 less a day will mean losing a pound a week. But this doesn't take into account if you want to gain muscle - because then your weight may not change as much. You're better going off body fat in that case. You can get scales that measure body fat (although their accuracy can be questionable) and there are calculators online based on measurements such as waist, hips, and arms.

In terms of your skin, you're probably best seeking professional advice about that. Your GP may be able to remmend products or a specialist to look at your skin.

I know it's hard but try to remember that your weight and looks don't define you. They're a part of who you are, yes, but (as you're doing) think about other aspects of you and your personality etc. Other people probably haven't even noticed your skin or weight - we think people think a lot more about us than they do really. Most people are too preoccupied with their own insecurities and life. Again I know it's hard, but try to put yourself out there to make friends. You'll find most people are actually really insecure too and need a kind friend like you
I’m a 21 year old Male btw

I want to add more muscle to my frame but at the same time I suspect that I am too fat. Both fat and muscle less. I spent lockdown losing weight and lost 6kg and ran 80km (over 2 months).

My goal? I have some goals in mind for the gym. But I want to look good. I feel like I look awful. I feel like if I either lose fat or decided to gain muscle both will result in failure.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would say that its might not acc be helpful to weigh yourself daily- it might do more harm than good if bc everyones weight naturally fluctuates and there's no point beating yourself up over natural fluctuation. it could be a better idea to weigh yourself over regular weekly intervals/ monthly ones (bearing in mind that weight changes w the menstrual cycle)

the original point you mentioned is a really good idea, (writing good things about yourself every morning) because i think that what is getting you down is not actually the way you look, but the way that you think you look.
Yeah I understand daily isn’t healthy. My app averages it and I have a special day where I take the number a bit more seriously so that way it’s like weekly weigh ins.
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Anonymous #3
#9
Report 2 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious. As I have strong track record of being a failure. At my fattest I was 78kg and I got down to 68kg. I also built my muscle up to a 100kg bench, and 180kg deadlift. Yet I FEEL LIKE I LOOK LIKE I HAVE NEVER STEPPED FOOT IN A GYM. I am 5’8 72kg 31 inch waist (before breakfast)

This morning I decided every morning on my phone I will write 5 things that I like about myself, everyday. But after gym I just started feeling extremely overwhelmed.

I also feel *****y about my skin usually. And I deleted snapchat because I hated seeing my face on the front camera. I feel like I have moon craters on my forehead. I take care of my skin and have a routine but no success yet.

The sad thing is that I only started feeling these thoughts 2 years ago when I had a hard time making friends first year uni. I’m going to my third year and I am more optimistic as I have matured a bit more and have new hobbies
learn to love urself ik its hard bit its the best thing u will ever do and believe in urself. (coming from someone who had anorexia). its hard btw but u can do it #nevergiveup
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BurstingBubbles
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m a 21 year old Male btw

I want to add more muscle to my frame but at the same time I suspect that I am too fat. Both fat and muscle less. I spent lockdown losing weight and lost 6kg and ran 80km (over 2 months).

My goal? I have some goals in mind for the gym. But I want to look good. I feel like I look awful. I feel like if I either lose fat or decided to gain muscle both will result in failure.
In that case you're even less likely to be fat because I think men are more likely to weigh more than woman because they have more muscle mass.

But adding muscle doesn't make you fat, only gaining fat makes you fat when you say fat do you mean you feel like you're too big overall? I doubt you would be with your height and weight. There's no harm in wanting to get fitter for your health but if you feel that you have dysmorphia then do seek some advice and support from your GP
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by BurstingBubbles)
In that case you're even less likely to be fat because I think men are more likely to weigh more than woman because they have more muscle mass.

But adding muscle doesn't make you fat, only gaining fat makes you fat when you say fat do you mean you feel like you're too big overall? I doubt you would be with your height and weight. There's no harm in wanting to get fitter for your health but if you feel that you have dysmorphia then do seek some advice and support from your GP
When I get stronger and gain weight for everyone it’s always muscle and fat (but you control and minimise the fat gain).


Thanks at times I’ve thought I should go down all the way to 60kg,

I look fat on the front facing camera. I have minor Male gynecomastia :/ also and the doctor can’t do anything about that.

And when I am bloated after dinner my waist expands alot
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