How do people manage to have normal bodies?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I have

2 scars due to surgeries which weren’t my fault

A big pigmentation that affects less than 1% of the worlds population

Gynecomastia (Male breast tissue)

But whenever I see body progress pictures online everyone has perfect torsos. How. What’s it like to have a normal chest?
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Pathway
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Eh, perfection isn't a thing. If the gynecomastia is bothering you, then it's worth seeing if your GP can do anything for you. They might also be able to direct you to some MH help as well to help with your self-confidence.

Some advice though, stop comparing yourself. It will only destroy you as a person. Be kind to yourself.
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Surnia
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What is normal and who defines it?

Don't bother with what's on social media. People on there can be photoshopped or have a personality flaw that makes them anything from a narcissist to a particularly unplesant character. There is no standard. Just look around you. There are thousands of people who have some kind of condition that means they have pigmentation or scars, on their body or their face. You have what you have and it's what you do with you life that is important.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
What is normal and who defines it?

Don't bother with what's on social media. People on there can be photoshopped or have a personality flaw that makes them anything from a narcissist to a particularly unplesant character. There is no standard. Just look around you. There are thousands of people who have some kind of condition that means they have pigmentation or scars, on their body or their face. You have what you have and it's what you do with you life that is important.
I still don’t know any other guy who has gynecomastia :/
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DrawTheLine
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There is no normal body.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Eh, perfection isn't a thing. If the gynecomastia is bothering you, then it's worth seeing if your GP can do anything for you. They might also be able to direct you to some MH help as well to help with your self-confidence.

Some advice though, stop comparing yourself. It will only destroy you as a person. Be kind to yourself.
GP can’t don’t anything sadly. Surgery is expensive and risky (like all) and i wouldn’t be able to gym for 5 months even if I did get it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
There is no normal body.
So when my friends post their progress pics to Instagram why do they have perfect upper body torsos?
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Anonymous #1
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Pathway

Also I desperately need therapy I think. I want to use my uni counselling service but I don’t have the privacy at home to be able to. So I am trying to hang in there until I am back at uni
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Anonymous #1
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Also I have 2 toes that are webbed at the bottom. Wtf? Why God?
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Pathway

Also I desperately need therapy I think. I want to use my uni counselling service but I don’t have the privacy at home to be able to. So I am trying to hang in there until I am back at uni
Your university's counselling service is an option, but to be honest, they mostly deal with university related issues, and it sounds like this wouldn't be in their remit. By all means though, ask them. If not when you're back at university seek help from your GP.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Also I have 2 toes that are webbed at the bottom. Wtf? Why God?
Everyone has something "odd" or "weird" about them. I could sit here and list off all these "weird" things about my body (I have a genetic condition that predisposes me to odd things) (also, I call them weird mainly because idk how else to describe them, I don't really care anymore even though they do impact me in other ways). Embrace things, flaws make you human. No one is perfect, it doesn't exist.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Your university's counselling service is an option, but to be honest, they mostly deal with university related issues, and it sounds like this wouldn't be in their remit. By all means though, ask them. If not when you're back at university seek help from your GP.



Everyone has something "odd" or "weird" about them. I could sit here and list off all these "weird" things about my body (I have a genetic condition that predisposes me to odd things) (also, I call them weird mainly because idk how else to describe them, I don't really care anymore even though they do impact me in other ways). Embrace things, flaws make you human. No one is perfect, it doesn't exist.
Isn't the councelling service for mental health though? Wouldn't uni related issues be more like the SU advice service?


On Instagram it seems like everyone I follow is perfect including people I know in real life
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anaindiemood
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I mean I think the pretty key part is you found these pictures ONLINE. Honestly you really can’t believe everything you see. There’s so much editing and modifying software readily available these days that pretty much anyone can get their hands on. Whether it be to edit out scars, pigmentation or even your gynecomastia it can all be done-there’s lots of people who may suffer similar to you but like to put up a facade to appear a certain way on social media and things. I know myself, I suffer from eczema which over the years has left patches of scarring. For a while I was very self conscious about it and I myself would edit it out in pictures but I’ve come to realise that this idea of “perfection” that reality stars or social media displays is no more than untrue. Very few people have this “perfect” body in reality, please stop comparing yourself to this false image and remember you really aren’t alone with your feelings!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anaindiemood)
I mean I think the pretty key part is you found these pictures ONLINE. Honestly you really can’t believe everything you see. There’s so much editing and modifying software readily available these days that pretty much anyone can get their hands on. Whether it be to edit out scars, pigmentation or even your gynecomastia it can all be done-there’s lots of people who may suffer similar to you but like to put up a facade to appear a certain way on social media and things. I know myself, I suffer from eczema which over the years has left patches of scarring. For a while I was very self conscious about it and I myself would edit it out in pictures but I’ve come to realise that this idea of “perfection” that reality stars or social media displays is no more than untrue. Very few people have this “perfect” body in reality, please stop comparing yourself to this false image and remember you really aren’t alone with your feelings!
Ive seen pictures of my friends in group pics at the beach and they all look pretty perfect compared to me.
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Anonymous #1
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anaindiemood

Also I wouldn't even be able to edit my stuff out :/
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MedicWil
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Isn't the councelling service for mental health though? Wouldn't uni related issues be more like the SU advice service?


On Instagram it seems like everyone I follow is perfect including people I know in real life
You are describing a form of mental health called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and it seems as though you have quite a bit of anxiety about your appearance so counselling would be very appropriate in this situation

Also, as above, people can edit things. Additionally, you seem to only seem to be following a very select group of people, there are a lot on instagram that have bodies the same as you and even more that lack the confidence to put pictures of themselves online
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So when my friends post their progress pics to Instagram why do they have perfect upper body torsos?
They're not perfect. Nobody is perfect. People on Instagram only post what they want people to see. Social media is full of lies so always be aware that it likely isn't how it looks.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MedicWil)
You are describing a form of mental health called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and it seems as though you have quite a bit of anxiety about your appearance so counselling would be very appropriate in this situation

Also, as above, people can edit things. Additionally, you seem to only seem to be following a very select group of people, there are a lot on instagram that have bodies the same as you and even more that lack the confidence to put pictures of themselves online
My body is a ****ing joke
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Isn't the councelling service for mental health though? Wouldn't uni related issues be more like the SU advice service?


On Instagram it seems like everyone I follow is perfect including people I know in real life
Not really. Counselling in general is more for things like you're struggling to move past a break up, therapy is to work through actual mental health problems, and what you're describing seems a lot more significant than what they would usually deal with in 6 weeks of university counselling (that's the usual length). University counselling tends to be for university work stress, etc. Therapy and counselling are not the same thing. Counsellors could still help you, though, hence why I said give it a shot, but if it doesn't work, then try your GP. Your family won't know regardless.

That's fine, but like, who cares? People are not perfect, your friends aren't perfect, your view is distorted. You're over-focussing on things that are not worth your brain power in the long run. It is making you have issues with your self-confidence. It doesn't matter if you know them irl, if their feeds are toxic to you, which they are, then don't engage with their feeds. Simple as. Work on healing your relationship with yourself. Bodies are amazing in what they do for us, day in, day out. Be kind to yourself and your body. You only get one. Embrace the things that you struggle with.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
They're not perfect. Nobody is perfect. People on Instagram only post what they want people to see. Social media is full of lies so always be aware that it likely isn't how it looks.
If I go out on the beach with mates (which I have never done), theres no editing involved. and Ii would stick out. And the irony is that I have been working out for 5 years yet I would look the worst, I look horrific
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Not really. Counselling in general is more for things like you're struggling to move past a break up, therapy is to work through actual mental health problems, and what you're describing seems a lot more significant than what they would usually deal with in 6 weeks of university counselling (that's the usual length). University counselling tends to be for university work stress, etc. Therapy and counselling are not the same thing. Counsellors could still help you, though, hence why I said give it a shot, but if it doesn't work, then try your GP. Your family won't know regardless.

That's fine, but like, who cares? People are not perfect, your friends aren't perfect, your view is distorted. You're over-focussing on things that are not worth your brain power in the long run. It is making you have issues with your self-confidence. It doesn't matter if you know them irl, if their feeds are toxic to you, which they are, then don't engage with their feeds. Simple as. Work on healing your relationship with yourself. Bodies are amazing in what they do for us, day in, day out. Be kind to yourself and your body. You only get one. Embrace the things that you struggle with.
Thanks. Your first point makes me feel a tad better about my under use the free uni service. I will think about going to my GP, but my fam isn't exactly supportive/understanding. But I will see. I think I need therapy, meds might help but I am worried about the side effects I have read regarding the Serotonin (SSRIs)
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