How to tell someone they smell?

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boulderingislife
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#1
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Hi guys,

Edit: Read post #6 too. This isn't a normal gym smell.

Just wondering, how do you tell someone they stink of body odour? Recently a guy has been smelling really bad at the gym and for two sessions i've just kept it to myself out of politeness. However today he wanted to join me at the gym again and he has a bad habit of getting too close and I just couldn't bear the thought of the BO smell being in my face again so I told the guy: I'm going gym at so and so time, if you comd, please bring and use deodorant cos you smelt of BO last time and it was nauseating. I also said, let me know if I smell to and i'll put some on too.

So what happened? The guy had a hissy fit and and said he'd train alone. And when I saw him at the gym that day and said hi, he just ghosted me and avoided me all session. I mean I don't really give a crap cos I never really liked the guy but seriously, what's the man's problem? I was doing him a favour by being honest to him. There's no nice way to have that convo, and it's better to have it than not have it so the person know they reak!

Anyhow, how would you guys handle a situation like this where someone smelly just has a bad habit of following you around the gym or wherever, and you either have to tell them to sort out their smell or give you space?

Oh and i'm a very direct person and like people who are direct back to me. I don't do this wishy washy crap that some folks do. So give it to me straight what you think. No wishy washy stuff

Thanks
Last edited by boulderingislife; 2 months ago
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charl.elise
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How would I handle that situation?

Certainly not like that. Way to give someone a complex.

-> He needed to know, yes. But you could have gone about it in a much kinder way, excluding that his BO was 'nauseating'
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by charl.elise)
How would I handle that situation?

Certainly not like that. Way to give someone a complex.
There's no nice way to tell people they smell. And how is telling someone they smell of BO going to give them a complex? Surely it's doing them a favour?

Honestly the guys a turd anyway, he chats so much crap and just talks about his sexual conquests all the time. Every week he is talking about some random women he is dating. I have no respect for people who treat women like sex objects. He has no moral standards and stinks, and he spreads rumours and tries to get people against each other. Not going to miss this friendship that's for sure!
Last edited by boulderingislife; 2 months ago
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LovelyMrFox
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You could mention something about it jokingly.
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chocolate_fan
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(Original post by boulderingislife)
Hi guys,

Just wondering, how do you tell someone they stink of body odour? Recently a guy has been smelling really bad at the gym and for two sessions i've just kept it to myself out of politeness. However today he wanted to join me at the gym again and he has a bad habit of getting too close and I just couldn't bear the thought of the BO smell being in my face again so I told the guy: I'm going gym at so and so time, if you comd, please bring and use deodorant cos you smelt of BO last time and it was nauseating. I also said, let me know if I smell to and i'll put some on too.

So what happened? The guy had a hissy fit and and said he'd train alone. And when I saw him at the gym that day and said hi, he just ghosted me and avoided me all session. I mean I don't really give a crap cos I never really liked the guy but seriously, what's the man's problem? I was doing him a favour by being honest to him. There's no nice way to have that convo, and it's better to have it than not have it so the person know they reak!

Anyhow, how would you guys handle a situation like this where someone smelly just has a bad habit of following you around the gym or wherever, and you either have to tell them to sort out their smell or give you space?

Oh and i'm a very direct person and like people who are direct back to me. I don't do this wishy washy crap that some folks do. So give it to me straight what you think. No wishy washy stuff

Thanks
So someone smells of BO?
At a gym?
Where he does exercise?
And sweats a lot?
I'm struggling to see what even brought it upon yourself to talk to him about it. Sure, some people smell more than others, but this is at a gym! You're hardly expecting everyone to smell like roses are you?
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by chocolate_fan)
So someone smells of BO?
At a gym?
Where he does exercise?
And sweats a lot?
I'm struggling to see what even brought it upon yourself to talk to him about it. Sure, some people smell more than others, but this is at a gym! You're hardly expecting everyone to smell like roses are you?
There's bo and there's BO. Loads of people sweat but don't smell as bad as that. It's as if he doesn't shower for a few days or something. Just a horrible smell. Loads of people around who sweat but smell nowhere as bad as him. It honestly was nauseating.
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Axesha_cx
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I would’ve asked if he want to borrow my deodorant. No need to add “you stink” unless they really don’t get the hint.
Last edited by Axesha_cx; 2 months ago
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
You could mention something about it jokingly.
eg please? Something like: "Pwaarrrr, mate, use some deodorant, u whiffy!" - that kind of joke?
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StriderHort
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I'd have handled it considerably better.
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boulderingislife
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#10
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(Original post by Axesha_cx)
I would’ve asked if he want to borrow my deodorant. No need to add “you stink” unless they really don’t get the hint.
I didn't say it in those words. I said something like "not to be rude mate, but you smell of bo - can u use deodorant when u come gym". Also added "if i smell then let me know and i'll put some on too". Something like that. Surely that's gentle? How can I get gentler and more considerate than that? Also, I didn't do it face to face in front of everyone, was by text when he messaged me saying he wanted to join me for a session. I honestly had no intention of mentioning it, but he wanted to join me and hang out close to me again, and I couldn't have it ruining my session again like last time. I could have changed my gym day to avoid him, but could not keep up the pretence going for too long.
Last edited by boulderingislife; 2 months ago
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boulderingislife
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#11
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(Original post by StriderHort)
I'd have handled it considerably better.
Do share your secret ways. Don't want to piss anyone else off!
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Moonbow
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I’m not surprised he was upset, that wasn’t very nice
I’d just say “I got a new deodorant, here try it out” and say where you got it from etc. and say “you should get some it’s super refreshing” 😊
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StriderHort
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(Original post by boulderingislife)
Do share your secret ways. Don't want to piss anyone else off!
You said you wanted direct answers? I'm not padding it out with wishy washy stuff.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by boulderingislife)
eg please? Something like: "Pwaarrrr, mate, use some deodorant, u whiffy!" - that kind of joke?
Meh, bit too harsh. I meant more along the lines that you could start putting on deodorant in front of him and ask him if he needs any.
Although your at a gym- of course theres going to be a bit of a lingering odor. If its that big of a problem, dont go to the gym.
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Axesha_cx
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(Original post by boulderingislife)
I didn't say it in those words. I said something like "not to be rude mate, but you smell of bo - can u use deodorant when u come gym". Also added "if i smell then let me know and i'll put some on too". Something like that. Surely that's gentle? How can I get gentler and more considerate than that? Also, I didn't do it face to face in front of everyone, was by text when he messaged me saying he wanted to join me for a session. I honestly had no intention of mentioning it, but he wanted to join me and hang out close to me again, and I couldn't have it ruining my session again like last time. I could have changed my gym day to avoid him, but could not keep up the pretence going for too long.
Idk “you smell of bo” and saying it’s “nauseating“ is rude to me. You could’ve just brought some lynx to the gym and ask if he needs some. He’s most likely to say yes
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Meh, bit too harsh. I meant more along the lines that you could start putting on deodorant in front of him and ask him if he needs any.
Although your at a gym- of course theres going to be a bit of a lingering odor. If its that big of a problem, dont go to the gym.
Nah, it's just this bloke. It's like passing a hobo on a street kind of odour. Man needs to bathe man. It's like he doesn't bathe in the morning. Disgusting people man. What kind of people don't bathe when they get up in the morning and going to work or gym or wherever.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Meh, bit too harsh. I meant more along the lines that you could start putting on deodorant in front of him and ask him if he needs any.
(Original post by Axesha_cx)
Idk “you smell of bo” and saying it’s “nauseating“ is rude to me. You could’ve just brought some lynx to the gym and ask if he needs some. He’s most likely to say yes
Do y'all share deodorant with others? :lolwut:
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by StriderHort)
You said you wanted direct answers? I'm not padding it out with wishy washy stuff.
Well maybe there is a more tactful way of telling a person they smell and need to sort out their personal hygiene without being wishy washy? I donno. I just say it as it is. You either love it or hate it. Can't please everyone.
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boulderingislife
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Do y'all share deodorant with others? :lolwut:
maybe they use those aerosol cans? I use roll on so i'm never sharing haha
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by boulderingislife)
Nah, it's just this bloke. It's like passing a hobo on a street kind of odour. Man needs to bathe man. It's like he doesn't bathe in the morning. Disgusting people man. What kind of people don't bathe when they get up in the morning and going to work or gym or wherever.
Some people have more BO than others, it has nothing to do with their bathing habits.
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