Is it illegal/Sexual assault if I was 11 and he was 12

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TiaJade18
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Basically back before I started high school I was alone with my half brothers, brother. Family was in the house, just not in the room. To put it simply, we were sat on a sofa, he grabbed my ass, chest and rubbed me. It was only for a short few minutes, I didn't understand what this was, I was just uncomfortable. I remember getting up and leaving after trying to just move away.
Later on, he was staying the night, in my bedroom. I remember him climbing into my bed next to me while I was trying to set up a kids show on a laptop for his 3/4 year old brother who was with us, also staying in my room. He'd put his hand in between my legs and rubbed against me again. It again, did not last long. This is my bed, I couldn't get out. It only didn't last, because thankfully my mum came upstairs to check we were all asleep and he got back out and to his own bed.
Since I didn't understand it back then, I don't know what to do with the information now. I don't even have a clue if he remembers, it was 7 years ago. I guess once I knew what it meant, there was nothing I could do because I didn't know how to feel, even if I did, it'd be his word against mine.
I still don't know how to feel, I don't feel sad, angry or scared anymore, I was too young to know. Yet I still feel something, but I'm not sure how to describe it.
I'm not asking for all the answers, I'd just like someone to maybe help me
Last edited by TiaJade18; 11 months ago
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Chopinnocturne31
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Hi! I’m really sorry this happened to you. It doesn’t matter how old he was, the fact that he did it without consent means that it was sexual assault. I don’t know if you would be able to report it because he was only 12 but I’m sure someone who knows better will be able to help with that. Do you still see him sometimes? If you do, I think it is really worth telling your mum, just in case he does something like that again.
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Chopinnocturne31
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(Original post by Anonymous)
when i was 12 i had gay sex with someone so it's fine
No, it’s not fine. Whether you had gay sex or not is completely irrelevant. Since you gave consent, it is nothing to do with OP’s situation.
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SuperiorPotato
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Definitely not fine regardless of age
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TiaJade18
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(Original post by Chopinnocturne31)
Hi! I’m really sorry this happened to you. It doesn’t matter how old he was, the fact that he did it without consent means that it was sexual assault. I don’t know if you would be able to report it because he was only 12 but I’m sure someone who knows better will be able to help with that. Do you still see him sometimes? If you do, I think it is really worth telling your mum, just in case he does something like that again.
Hello!
Thank you for your response and advice. I told my mum around the age of 14. And no I haven't actually seen him since around 11 years old.
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Chopinnocturne31
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(Original post by TiaJade18)
Hello!
Thank you for your response and advice. I told my mum around the age of 14. And no I haven't actually seen him since around 11 years old.
You’re welcome. That’s great that you told your mum. I’m really glad that you did. I just wanted to say with regards to you not knowing how to feel, I think it may be worth going to see a therapist about it. Talking through your feelings may help you to understand them more and move on. Alternatively, if you don’t feel ready to talk to a professional, you can always pm me and I’ll be happy to talk
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Vapordave
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It's not fine, I'm sorry that happened to you. Not excusing him but usually children do these things as a result of sexual abuse.
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username2393237
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(Original post by TiaJade18)
Hello!
Thank you for your response and advice. I told my mum around the age of 14. And no I haven't actually seen him since around 11 years old.
What did your mum say?
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TiaJade18
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(Original post by Chopinnocturne31)
You’re welcome. That’s great that you told your mum. I’m really glad that you did. I just wanted to say with regards to you not knowing how to feel, I think it may be worth going to see a therapist about it. Talking through your feelings may help you to understand them more and move on. Alternatively, if you don’t feel ready to talk to a professional, you can always pm me and I’ll be happy to talk
Hi,
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the offer and your kind words
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Qxi.xli
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(Original post by Chopinnocturne31)
You’re welcome. That’s great that you told your mum. I’m really glad that you did. I just wanted to say with regards to you not knowing how to feel, I think it may be worth going to see a therapist about it. Talking through your feelings may help you to understand them more and move on. Alternatively, if you don’t feel ready to talk to a professional, you can always pm me and I’ll be happy to talk
PRSOM
I'm not oP but that's rlly nice of u
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Vapordave)
It's not fine, I'm sorry that happened to you. Not excusing him but usually children do these things as a result of sexual abuse.
he was 12 too
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he was 12 too
From 11 to 12 is a bigger jump than say 10-11
It’s primary to high school
More gets round in high school if you know what I mean.
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TiaJade18
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(Original post by YaliaV)
What did your mum say?
Nothing really, just 'Thanks for telling me' I guess. I told her over text, so
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jae jae
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I’m sorry you had to go through that... I’ve been in a same situation too🤕
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TiaJade18
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(Original post by jae jae)
I’m sorry you had to go through that... I’ve been in a same situation too🤕
I'm sorry to hear that, if you ever want a chat I'm here
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Chopinnocturne31
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(Original post by TiaJade18)
Hi,
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the offer and your kind words
You’re welcome! Just know that I’m always here if you feel like you want to talk to someone about it. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger
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Chopinnocturne31
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No since everyone has done some crap when they were younger. he probably regrets it and its eating him up from the inside
That’s possible. But it’s also possible that he has continued to do these things 🤷*♀️ and regretting it doesn’t make what he did okay anyway.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by TiaJade18)
Basically back before I started high school I was alone with my half brothers, brother. Family was in the house, just not in the room. To put it simply, we were sat on a sofa, he grabbed my ass, chest and rubbed me. It was only for a short few minutes, I didn't understand what this was, I was just uncomfortable. I remember getting up and leaving after trying to just move away.
Later on, he was staying the night, in my bedroom. I remember him climbing into my bed next to me while I was trying to set up a kids show on a laptop for his 3/4 year old brother who was with us, also staying in my room. He'd put his hand in between my legs and rubbed against me again. It again, did not last long. This is my bed, I couldn't get out. It only didn't last, because thankfully my mum came upstairs to check we were all asleep and he got back out and to his own bed.
Since I didn't understand it back then, I don't know what to do with the information now. I don't even have a clue if he remembers, it was 7 years ago. I guess once I knew what it meant, there was nothing I could do because I didn't know how to feel, even if I did, it'd be his word against mine.
I still don't know how to feel, I don't feel sad, angry or scared anymore, I was too young to know. Yet I still feel something, but I'm not sure how to describe it.
I'm not asking for all the answers, I'd just like someone to maybe help me
Hiya, I think it was assault, you didn't want it, but I don't know the consequences of it, seeing as you were both underage, and I'm not sure what could happen if you were to report it now, my best advice would be to avoid him, even if it was seven years ago, don't let your guard down, if he ever does that again then you can definitely go further and press charges and what not.
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TiaJade18
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(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
Hiya, I think it was assault, you didn't want it, but I don't know the consequences of it, seeing as you were both underage, and I'm not sure what could happen if you were to report it now, my best advice would be to avoid him, even if it was seven years ago, don't let your guard down, if he ever does that again then you can definitely go further and press charges and what not.
Hello
Thank you for your advice 🙏
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