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I'm confused

So sometimes my mind just confuses me like when I feel sad or any type of emotion that isn't happiness or anger I always feel like I'm lying to myself like "no it not feeling sad u just want attention" type of thing so I always feel bad to feel sad even when talking about negative experiences my friends opened up to me about being sexually assaulted at young ages so I decided to come out to them with one of the things that's happened to since I've been sexually assaulted twice but whilst I was saying it, it felt like I was lying and I just got really scared like what if they don't believe me cuz I told my brother about it aswell and he said I just made it up and how am I supposed to believe my word over his so I got really anxious when I said it like what if they think I'm just doing it for attention or trying to join in with something I'm not a part of that's why I kinda stopped myself from saying the 2nd one and it's just kind of uncomfortable when they bring it up like "childhood trauma really messed me up" and stuff cuz idk I feel weird especially since I don't think it affected me in anyway and it's more of a distant memory that is still irritably there anyway I just feel weird everytime I feel a certain way since my brain automatically thinks I'm doing or feeling anything for attention lol
Original post by Anonymous
So sometimes my mind just confuses me like when I feel sad or any type of emotion that isn't happiness or anger I always feel like I'm lying to myself like "no it not feeling sad u just want attention" type of thing so I always feel bad to feel sad even when talking about negative experiences my friends opened up to me about being sexually assaulted at young ages so I decided to come out to them with one of the things that's happened to since I've been sexually assaulted twice but whilst I was saying it, it felt like I was lying and I just got really scared like what if they don't believe me cuz I told my brother about it aswell and he said I just made it up and how am I supposed to believe my word over his so I got really anxious when I said it like what if they think I'm just doing it for attention or trying to join in with something I'm not a part of that's why I kinda stopped myself from saying the 2nd one and it's just kind of uncomfortable when they bring it up like "childhood trauma really messed me up" and stuff cuz idk I feel weird especially since I don't think it affected me in anyway and it's more of a distant memory that is still irritably there anyway I just feel weird everytime I feel a certain way since my brain automatically thinks I'm doing or feeling anything for attention lol

It's okay to feel that way and a lot of people do, you're not alone. When trauma happens to us, one of the brain's coping mechanisms is to deny that it ever happened and sometimes peoples responses to hearing someone else's trauma is the same. I think if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to talk about it, especially if you feel like you've come to peace with it but if you are still haunted or effected by it then investigate going to see a therapist. It doesn't make you weak or attention seeking, in fact it's one of the bravest things you can do. Your experience is valid and you are valid, you're not attention seeking. I really hope get to a place where you don't need to feel guilty for having emotions, it's okay and you deserve to be able to feel what you feel. x

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