Tenant in new house is threatening to beat me...

I know a lot of people lie about these situations but please believe me I am telling the truth.

I was sat in the garden having a casual smoke with a coffee with a fellow tenant. I have lived in this house with him for almost a month now and haven’t developed a strong relationship but I always tried to offer him bits and bobs or some food/ingredients just or help him out with housework as a good gesture to try and make living with this new guy more fun and friendly. For pretty much the whole time I have lived has not really felt like he wanted the same friendly household experience but I just treat anything he said as something to forget about as he probably has has a bad day or something to make him defensive and angry all the time. In my old house I had some great friends but it eventually developed into some silly divisions in the house over petty household drama and I wanted to make sure that did not happen in my new house so I just ignored anything insulting or offensive he would say and continued to be friendly to the guy.

Today we was in the garden smoking together and he asked about my medical history (quite long list of stuff) and it came to the point where I told him I have minor heart problems because of hypos brought on from my diabetes which has caused some brain damage me and my doctors think. He then called me a “liar” multiple times which I just responded with calling him ignorant which made him through his coffee at me. I responded with “*******” whilst I calmly sat in my chair. He then walked off inside the house throwing the my lighter at me that I gave to him when he asked for it. He then about 30 seconds later he came back in to the garden getting close to me saying if I dare call him anything again he will “break me”and it started daring me to do it getting closer and closer to me. I remained calm in my chair but lost it only a little by calling him an ******* only once since he was daring me. I then quickly realised that it was dumb of me to say that it then just start saying I was “sorry if anything has bad happened today to make you pissed off” and that was that. It just continued with this guy threatening to beat me. I eventually got bored of it and went inside.

Im not scared of this guy but it really hurts my feelings when I have tried to develop a friendly relationship with him and he acts like this. I have really struggled with my diabetes throughout my life and it has made me clinically depressed but I just know if I want be happy I need to treat other people with respect. This guy has been calling me something like “stupid”or “braindead” pretty much every day since I moved in and I have only ever been kind. I even lent the guy money once but I have never gotten any warm gestures back.

How do I respond to this? Im really not comfortable living with someone who threatens to beat me and treat me like im nothing every day.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I once had a landlord threaten to cut my head off. I moved out the next day, why live your life under that kind of shadow?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I once had a landlord threaten to cut my head off. I moved out the next day, why live your life under that kind of shadow?

Yeah this is a new house to me so I don’t have any deep friendships here yet. Silly part of me wants to just stand my ground and not move though because it’s a nice house compared to anything else I would get in the area and why should I move just because he’s so ‘not in a good mood’ all the time and has no respect to friendly me. I almost want the guy to get angry and beat me up because then hopefully he would get throw out.

Reply 3

ANM775

20

Original post by Anonymous

Im not scared of this guy but it really hurts my feelings when I have tried to develop a friendly relationship with him and he acts like this.

You sound scared of him. You quickly back tracked and apologised after doing the one thing he said he would beat you for.

You also put up everyday with him threatening to beat you.

This guy has no respect for you, he never liked you, and now he is bullying you.

I would have offered him out right there and then if he had threatened to beat me unless he was like double my size or something. In fact there's been a couple of situations at previous work places where people have threatened me physically and I did exactly that. You have acted far too submissive and it's probably not possible to change his behavior now without offering him out the next time he does it, which is actually even more likely to lead to a fight now because you've acted beta for so long.

Instead I suggest you make a complaint to the Landlord and threaten to leave/cut your tenancy short.
The landlord not wanting to lose money will probably have a word with the guy.

Also start lifting.
The stronger you look, the less likely people are to give you lip and esculate things into physical threats. and if they do you can be confident when you do square back upto them that if things come to blows you're not going to get your ass handed to you. If you are weak and don't lift, not only do people tend to take more liberties, .. you will also feel too much fear and be unable to physically stand up for yourself which looks like it is happening here.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ANM775

You sound scared of him. You quickly back tracked and apologised after doing the one thing he said he would beat you for.

You also put up everyday with him threatening to beat you.

This guy has no respect for you, he never liked you, and now he is bullying you.

I would have offered him out right there and then if he had threatened to beat me unless he was like double my size or something. In fact there's been a couple of situations at previous work places where people have threatened me physically and I did exactly that. You have acted far too submissive and it's probably not possible to change his behavior now without offering him out the next time he does it, which is actually even more likely to lead to a fight now because you've acted beta for so long.

Instead I suggest you make a complaint to the Landlord and threaten to leave/cut your tenancy short.
The landlord not wanting to lose money will probably have a word with the guy.

Also start lifting.
The stronger you look, the less likely people are to give you lip and esculate things into physical threats. and if they do you can be confident when you do square back upto them that if things come to blows you're not going to get your ass handed to you. If you are weak and don't lift, not only do people tend to take more liberties, .. you will also feel too much fear and be unable to physically stand up for yourself which looks like it is happening here.

I don’t lift and am a pretty small guy in terms of muscles. His size is quite intimidating and maybe your right, I could be scared of him but im definitely submissive, I think I enjoy shrugging any insults or threats off in the hopes it will piss him off more. Im really quite eager for him to punch now so I can encourage him to punch me more and more. I know if I fight back as I am then I won’t really be able to defend myself but I think me wanted this is pretty stupid as well cause it would really hurt and maybe permanent damage but I really don’t think I care if it hurts. Im gonna casually tell him I have told my landlord about the situation next time I see him.