I have autism and depression, friend has signs of it and is awkward to be around.

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
I went through a traumatic experience when in my late teens and never recovered, I have always been the type of person who looks out for others and part of the reason for lack of recovery was I had a flatmate who had a nervous breakdown and drank and was eventually sectioned, then moved to student accomodation for uni and had a bi polar AND a schizophrenic flatmate which caused issues, and also a druggie flatmate who stole stuff, then moved and had a drug dealer neighbour who ruined my credit by getting credit cards in my name etc.

I never fully recovered just stabilised into melancholy, but made friends with a guy who by his own account is "weird" into conspiracy theories, likes to "joke" by insulting, if I read my emails and tv is on he whinges he wants to watch what he wants, hes very messy though I have nagged him so much hes better but still does things like eat messy food and has ruined a sofa of mine (one I cant wipe down due to fabric) as its full of stains and also a few on carpet and tells me I should clean it up as its my flat.

He also has no problem with his curiosity, in the past I have found him read personal documents such as a 2 page writing on my feelings meant to be given to a temp councellor I had and he didn't even apologise and was shocked I was upset and said "if you didn't want it read, you shouldn't of left it there, its not my fault" again signs of autism as he doesn't understand personal space and feelings, but also complains how he has no friends and doesn't understand why. He also gets quite agitated with money, if I owe him 10p he complains how I am ripping him off, I explain no I don't and he won't let it go, but if he owes me £2 he demands proof and when I get annoyed tells me I am getting worked up over nothing.

Its not that he is trying to rip me off, he is very forgetful and doesn't understand, Once years ago he owed me £20 as he visited me and left his card at home and stayed for a few days (another annoying thing he did before he moved to a few miles from me) over that time he got daily take aways, some snacks etc but he would be like "the take away wasn't £8 it was £5 max, and I had 3 therefore I owe £15" and didn't count things like small drinks he wanted and had himself, snacks, beer. So in the end I left him off with £20 when it was more like £26

Because of that i learned to if he owed me even 50p then I ask it from him straight away or next time I see him, but even sometimes thats a nightmare as he told me he squared up the week before.

I have told him in the past, seeing me is a luxury as he is currently unemployed and I work (and now study too) and so I don't get much time off. He doesn't realise this.

It makes my MH worse but I don't want to cut contact as hes the only person I have coming round once a week.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 months ago
#2
He could have ASPD, doesn’t necessarily need to be autism, does he lack empathy? Doesn’t feel guilt? Is selfish constantly? Doesn’t give a ****? Does he like it when people seem to be in distress or suffer? Does he seem like he doesn’t s really mind making you do anything? Manipulative? Stuff like that, nevertheless, I’d personally tell him to get help, if he doesn’t and continues, kick him. But I’m not the one to judge

(I personally have ASPD, I wish to not get attacked for saying stuff like that)
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
He could have ASPD, doesn’t necessarily need to be autism, does he lack empathy? Doesn’t feel guilt? Is selfish constantly? Doesn’t give a ****? Does he like it when people seem to be in distress or suffer? Does he seem like he doesn’t s really mind making you do anything? Manipulative? Stuff like that, nevertheless, I’d personally tell him to get help, if he doesn’t and continues, kick him. But I’m not the one to judge

(I personally have ASPD, I wish to not get attacked for saying stuff like that)
Yep thats all like him, but I don't think its directly he likes people to suffer but he would joke if something happened like I dropped something, He does feel a little guilt but its rare and only in the most extreme situations after he has been explained to in great deatils.

When we order food he wants me to phone up as he finds it awkward, on the chance he does something nice he has to be explained the benefits i.e a few years back I was moving and had a few car loads of stuff, literally 4 journeys and new flat was a third of a mile from old place he complained that I asked him to help me, complained that he had to drive me, despite me letting him stay in old flat for 2 weeks because he said I was on benefits so didn't pay rent anyway so I got it free. Rather than the fact he was getting 2 weeks free in a flat and not having to pay for a hotel.

Hes quite heavy handed when opening things like doors, I have told him off before as he yanks the fridge door and things have fallen out, or he slams it shut, yet when I get a lift from him he tells me that I have to close door gently.

His flat is a absolute pigsty, though slightly better over the years, in his last shared place he was there 8 months and never hooved once, to point when he left there was a patch of dust up the wall!

He wears manky clothes often with holes in, hardly ever shaves, has dandruff, is the spitting image of Kurt Cobain etc.

Deep down hes not a bad guy hes just in a bad state and doesn't realise about others feelings I always remember when I was ill last year and told him if he saw me coughing to hand me a drink as I can get so bad I faint from oxygen loss, this happened literally as food arrived and I was waving arm and trying to get his attention and he started, and I croaked out his name and he snapped "im eating"

He did apologise after I explained though but not at first and just said "I thought you were ok"

Hes bad at that, I can explain something is serious and he doesn't realise, or something stupid like when he turned up at random when he lived around corner for a few months and I would be hoovering, I would tell him to be careful as I had cable for hoover there and he would say "its ok" then trip over it and snap at me for leaving a cable in middle of floor! He has also put his arm across my cooker shortly after I have cooked something and I tell him to be careful and then he blames me for near burning himself.

Basically you tell him something and he says "ok" but never actually pays attention or interprets it badly.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 2 months ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep thats all like him, but I don't think its directly he likes people to suffer but he would joke if something happened like I dropped something, He does feel a little guilt but its rare and only in the most extreme situations after he has been explained to in great deatils.

When we order food he wants me to phone up as he finds it awkward, on the chance he does something nice he has to be explained the benefits i.e a few years back I was moving and had a few car loads of stuff, literally 4 journeys and new flat was a third of a mile from old place he complained that I asked him to help me, complained that he had to drive me, despite me letting him stay in old flat for 2 weeks because he said I was on benefits so didn't pay rent anyway so I got it free. Rather than the fact he was getting 2 weeks free in a flat and not having to pay for a hotel.

Hes quite heavy handed when opening things like doors, I have told him off before as he yanks the fridge door and things have fallen out, or he slams it shut, yet when I get a lift from him he tells me that I have to close door gently.

His flat is a absolute pigsty, though slightly better over the years, in his last shared place he was there 8 months and never hooved once, to point when he left there was a patch of dust up the wall!

He wears manky clothes often with holes in, hardly ever shaves, has dandruff, is the spitting image of Kurt Cobain etc.

Deep down hes not a bad guy hes just in a bad state and doesn't realise about others feelings I always remember when I was ill last year and told him if he saw me coughing to hand me a drink as I can get so bad I faint from oxygen loss, this happened literally as food arrived and I was waving arm and trying to get his attention and he started, and I croaked out his name and he snapped "im eating"

He did apologise after I explained though but not at first and just said "I thought you were ok"

Hes bad at that, I can explain something is serious and he doesn't realise, or something stupid like when he turned up at random when he lived around corner for a few months and I would be hoovering, I would tell him to be careful as I had cable for hoover there and he would say "its ok" then trip over it and snap at me for leaving a cable in middle of floor! He has also put his arm across my cooker shortly after I have cooked something and I tell him to be careful and then he blames me for near burning himself.

Basically you tell him something and he says "ok" but never actually pays attention or interprets it badly.
Quick to anger it seems, another thing that a person with ASPD does. However my BF has autism and he does stuff like that too and can be very insensitive sometimes as well. I personally would advise you to advise him to get help and perhaps diagnosed. And me personally if he refuses and things don’t get better, cut him out of your life, remember to make sure your mental and physical health remains good and stable, it’s no use if you get depressed and he is using you. Just to say, ditch him if he doesn’t change that behaviour, it’s not worth your sanity.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Should there be a new university admissions system that ditches predicted grades?

No, I think predicted grades should still be used to make offers (639)
33.51%
Yes, I like the idea of applying to uni after I received my grades (PQA) (805)
42.21%
Yes, I like the idea of receiving offers only after I receive my grades (PQO) (377)
19.77%
I think there is a better option than the ones suggested (let us know in the thread!) (86)
4.51%

Watched Threads

View All