The Student Room Group

Flatmate with anger issues

So I've been living in my new accommodation for 2 weeks now. Met 2 out of 3 of the other flatmates and we were all getting along fine. I like both of them and we get on really well, but today I got a little freaked out.

A bit of context, I suffer from ptsd and severe anxiety due to a previous abusive relationship.

So today I was in my room and I had helped my flatmate (F) get logged into the WiFi on his PS4. I went back to my room to do some yoga and chill out, but all I could hear was screaming and shouting coming from F's room. And I don't mean angry like you would at a video game or something - I mean REALLY ANGRY like throwing stuff around his room and everything, some stuff hitting my wall (his room is next to mine).

Because of all the noise and the aggression, this ended up triggering a panic attack and my ptsd, as this was all too familiar for me with my previous experiences. I genuinely didn't feel safe in my own flat, so I literally cycled straight to my current boyfriends to get to somewhere I would feel safe.

What should I do about this situation? I know that I won't be able to manage the rest of the year if this keeps happening, and I genuinely feel scared and unsafe to go into my flat. I know this is mainly due to my own mental health problems, but I feel it must be unfair on my other flatmates and other people in the accommodation who can hear all the banging and screaming.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by AdeleJ47
So I've been loving in my new accommodation for 2 weeks now. Met 2 out of 3 of the other flatmates and we were all getting along fine. I like both of them and we get on really well, but today I got a little freaked out.

A bit of context, I suffer from ptsd and severe anxiety due to a previous abusive relationship.

So today I was in my room and I had helped my flatmate (F) get logged into the WiFi on his PS4. I went back to my room to do some yoga and chill out, but all I could hear was screaming and shouting coming from F's room. And I don't mean angry like you would at a video game or something - I mean REALLY ANGRY like throwing stuff around his room and everything, some stuff hitting my wall (his room is next to mine).

Because of all the noise and the aggression, this ended up triggering a panic attack and my ptsd, as this was all too familiar for me with my previous experiences. I genuinely didn't feel safe in my own flat, so I literally cycled straight to my current boyfriends to get to somewhere I would feel safe.

What should I do about this situation? I know that I won't be able to manage the rest of the year if this keeps happening, and I genuinely feel scared and unsafe to go into my flat. I know this is mainly due to my own mental health problems, but I feel it must be unfair on my other flatmates and other people in the accommodation who can hear all the banging and screaming.


Have you talked to the flatmate?
Have you found out what it was about and if they are ok?
Is it male or female?
Does anyone know you have ptsd?

It is unusual behaviour and it wouldnt go on for long before someone else reported them, even if they mistake a fight was going on.
The position you need to avoid is reporting and it being traced back.

Do you dare speak to them? If it happened again I would either speak to them or report them.
Reply 2
Original post by 999tigger
Have you talked to the flatmate?
Have you found out what it was about and if they are ok?
Is it male or female?
Does anyone know you have ptsd?

It is unusual behaviour and it wouldnt go on for long before someone else reported them, even if they mistake a fight was going on.
The position you need to avoid is reporting and it being traced back.

Do you dare speak to them? If it happened again I would either speak to them or report them.


They're male, and all this screaming and shouting was as a result of trying to sign into a Now TV account. I honestly feel so scared about talking to them about it, as I've already had to ask them to not smoke weed in the flat and I don't want to come off as a naggy *****. With the nature of my ptsd I feel uncomfortable talking about it to people I've just met, because they always ask for more details and it ends up triggering it again. Its honestly such a difficult situation for me to navigate which is why I have no clue what to do.
Original post by AdeleJ47
They're male, and all this screaming and shouting was as a result of trying to sign into a Now TV account. I honestly feel so scared about talking to them about it, as I've already had to ask them to not smoke weed in the flat and I don't want to come off as a naggy *****. With the nature of my ptsd I feel uncomfortable talking about it to people I've just met, because they always ask for more details and it ends up triggering it again. Its honestly such a difficult situation for me to navigate which is why I have no clue what to do.

The behaviour is unusual and for the most part unacceptable if repeated.

Make a note and keep a diary of events.
Talk to your other flatmates, maybe they can or will have had a word with him?
If it happens again report him although its better to get someone from the flat to have a word.
You can also report it to welfare and your mh counsellor.
Reply 4
Original post by 999tigger
The behaviour is unusual and for the most part unacceptable if repeated.

Make a note and keep a diary of events.
Talk to your other flatmates, maybe they can or will have had a word with him?
If it happens again report him although its better to get someone from the flat to have a word.
You can also report it to welfare and your mh counsellor.


Yeah cheers for that, I get on really well with my other flatmate and no doubt he will have heard the commotion too. I never thought to keep a diary of it, so I'll definitely start doing that in case it becomes a constant thing! Hopefully it won't come to anything drastic, but its definitely something that needs sorting
Original post by AdeleJ47
Yeah cheers for that, I get on really well with my other flatmate and no doubt he will have heard the commotion too. I never thought to keep a diary of it, so I'll definitely start doing that in case it becomes a constant thing! Hopefully it won't come to anything drastic, but its definitely something that needs sorting

The behaviour is abnormal?
I would have checked to see if they were ok and then laughed it off.
Flatmate relations, especially among unknowns is important.

If he does it again I would speak to him or if you cant then get someone else to have a word.
Its a good opportunity to exercise your assertiveness..
Up to you if you tell them about your ptsd or general anxiety, but its nothing to be ashamed of. My point is if they know then they have even less reason.to repeat. If they do then report them. They might be fine.

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