advice

I am really worried about my son going off to Oxford Uni soon and I'll explain why - he is clever but lazy and does well with little effort for example, his Oxford application was relaxed and casual (not bothered if he got in or not) so I was surprised when he got a place at but obviously I am proud and happy for him. My concern about him going is he has a small but very close group of friends and he seems extremely sad to be leaving them and he's not looking forward to meeting new people or making new friends at all. He says he can't be bothered and doesn't need to. He's taken little to no interest in finding out about the uni or the city and hasn't wanted to follow the college on social media etc. He has no hobbies at all and spends his free time drinking/socialising with friends, playing on his PS4 and watching Netflix. I'm worried that he won't try anything new at Uni and will just hibernate in his room the whole time. I feel like his chance is almost wasted. I worry because he insecure in himself so finds making new friends difficult. I just want him to be happy but I'm sick with worry.

I am really worried about my son going off to Oxford Uni soon and I'll explain why - he is clever but lazy and does well with little effort for example, his Oxford application was relaxed and casual (not bothered if he got in or not) so I was surprised when he got a place at but obviously I am proud and happy for him. My concern about him going is he has a small but very close group of friends and he seems extremely sad to be leaving them and he's not looking forward to meeting new people or making new friends at all. He says he can't be bothered and doesn't need to. He's taken little to no interest in finding out about the uni or the city and hasn't wanted to follow the college on social media etc. He has no hobbies at all and spends his free time drinking/socialising with friends, playing on his PS4 and watching Netflix. I'm worried that he won't try anything new at Uni and will just hibernate in his room the whole time. I feel like his chance is almost wasted. I worry because he insecure in himself so finds making new friends difficult. I just want him to be happy but I'm sick with worry.

Thank you everyone who replied constructively. It is so difficult, as I am a highly anxious person anyway and worrying about him has become even worse. I privately wish he was going to a different uni with more people (the college he is going to is quite small) and less pressure but that's probably me projecting my fears onto him. Obviously I don't let him know my worries. Thanks again.

IMO, a small college environment sounds like a better fit for him. Some people have many friends, and some prefer to have fewer, but closer, ones.

The work pressure claims are overblown - some subjects have a deserved reputation, but the vast majority don't. It sounds like he "just gets it", so should be fine.

Thank you again. You seem to know what you’re talking about! He is going to read law and going slowly through his summer reading list, he does seem to ‘get it’. I hope the workload is bearable as you suggest. Thanks again.

I am really worried about my son going off to Oxford Uni soon and I'll explain why - he is clever but lazy and does well with little effort for example, his Oxford application was relaxed and casual (not bothered if he got in or not) so I was surprised when he got a place at but obviously I am proud and happy for him. My concern about him going is he has a small but very close group of friends and he seems extremely sad to be leaving them and he's not looking forward to meeting new people or making new friends at all. He says he can't be bothered and doesn't need to. He's taken little to no interest in finding out about the uni or the city and hasn't wanted to follow the college on social media etc. He has no hobbies at all and spends his free time drinking/socialising with friends, playing on his PS4 and watching Netflix. I'm worried that he won't try anything new at Uni and will just hibernate in his room the whole time. I feel like his chance is almost wasted. I worry because he insecure in himself so finds making new friends difficult. I just want him to be happy but I'm sick with worry.

@JustOneMoreThing listen mate it’s Diddy Kong, you give me useless advice and now you’re doing the same to others? If you post on my thread again I will get very angry

Ok, I understand.

And just one more thing to say, you should give more useful advice

You said that already, at least reference my name properly.

No, I don’t think I will

MY NAME IS @Diddy Kong NOT JACK YOU STUPID PERSON

Why are you impersonating me?