Are you really supposed to put your mental health first?

TSR George

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Reply 1

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Don't worry about society, it will always judge no matter what you do. Focus on yourself and your own needs :smile:

Personally i find it's a balance, if i avoid things and retreat into myself like i need to sometimes for my MH condition then i find that is only helpful to a point. If it starts to impact my work or academics (when i was doing them) then it started to have the opposite affect and made my MH worse, not because of society but because for myself i like to feel useful and productive. Academics and work arent the only ways to be useful and productive but that is how it best works for me
Just take your time :hugs:

Reply 2

londonmyst

Always put your physical safety and health first. :smile:

Listen to your gut instinct and trust it.
It doesn't matter what random strangers say or think, they won't feel the consequences of your decisions 24/7.
You will.
Good luck!

Reply 3

nexttime

I mean... we generally greatly, greatly overestimate the consequences to things like 'falling behind'. Its hard to have a fully clear perspective on what will make you happy and what won't, and often we do what is expected of us rather than what we want. Perhaps sometimes we should prioritise ourselves a little more.

Having said that, being stressed or having a hard time is absolutely not the same as 'mental illness', or for me even "mental health" and that is an important distinction to make. If you try to go through life having never experienced stress you're unlikely to be able to achieve whatever goals you have decided are important to you.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 4

GabiAbi84

Yes you put it first.
Once you put it first you then work at balancing and prioritising the rest of the stuff and once the crisis is over it becomes less disruptive to the rest of the stuff but you continue to put it first so that you can stay on top of it.

Reply 5

Sabertooth

Tbh, if I didn't put it first when I needed to, I wouldn't be here.

Reply 6

username1339858_

Balanced. The reasi
On why we say put mental health first is because otherwise we end up neglecting it completely.
Say for example you broke a leg and you also had MH issues. Priority in that moment would be your leg then your MH thereafter.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 7

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Original post by nexttime

I mean... we generally greatly, greatly overestimate the consequences to things like 'falling behind'. Its hard to have a fully clear perspective on what will make you happy and what won't, and often we do what is expected of us rather than what we want. Perhaps sometimes we should prioritise ourselves a little more.

Having said that, being stressed or having a hard time is absolutely not the same as 'mental illness' or 'mental health', and that is an important distinction to make. If you try to go through life having never experienced stress you're unlikely to be able to achieve whatever goals you have decided are important to you.

Everyone has mental health just like they have physical health, stress can make your mental health poor for a time similar to how a cold can have a knock on your physical health.
Everyone has mental health but not everyone has mental illness. The distinction is between the two.

Reply 8

luvinthedark

physical health is more important imo

Reply 9

username5414076

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

physical health is more important imo

Umm news flash mental health and physical health are connected in some way.

Eg: anorexia and malnutrition/starving to death

Depression and extreme fatigue

Manic bipolar episodes and insomnia

Generalised anxiety disorder and heart palpatations

If you don't look after your mental health you're not looking after your physical health and that's a FACT

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I completely resonate with your description. It’s funny actually because a fortnight ago (I’m in Year 13), I opened up to a teacher about how stressed I am since they’re hoping I apply to Oxford (when, for me, just getting into a ‘regular’ university is enough pressure in itself), and they’ve been extremely helpful, but I can tell that I’m falling behind. Because I’m feeling this added pressure and striving for perfection, I can barely concentrate in class and keep writing excessive amounts for the shortest answers, so my performance is slipping. Anyway, enough about me, I do think some good eggs do exist out there who genuinely care about our mental health but, at the end of the day, school is a money-making machine in my eyes and the whole reason they want our confidence to return is so that we succeed and boost their results (cynical I know). I think much the same applies to work, so it's a matter of knowing when to draw a line ourselves and to say NO to anything that overwhelms us, regardless of the consequences.

Reply 11

nexttime

Original post by CoolCavy

Ok - but how you phrased it is stress can cause mental health decline. Don't disagree with that.

But if you were to assert being transiently stressed is poor mental health, I'd have to say that's an interesting viewpoint and if that's the case then you absolutely cannot always put mental health first - you've got to get out of bed at some point!

Reply 12

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Original post by nexttime

It may not nessecarily be poor mental health, it may just knock how you feel within yourself. Conversely it may be poor mental health within itself depending on what the person feels. When it becomes 'poor' or if it poor within itself is individual to the person's own scale and feeling. Its not an either or since it varies between individuals.
If stress wasnt poor mental health or a contributor to it then places like the NHS IAPT wouldnt run group sessions about it.
Of course, that's why i said in my original post that you need to strike a balance. Prioritising your MH isnt just staying in bed, its doing stuff that makes you feel better even if you cant avoid the source of your stress.
My original point was a counter to the fact you seemed to be suggesting mental illness and mental health were one and the same and that the average person had neither, you cant be diagnosed with mental health because its just a neutral scale everyone has, as with physical health.
Nothing is ever simply black or white with mental health. You can put your mental health first you just need to work out what that means for you.
With a full time job it could be recuperating at the weekend, spending time with your pets etc. Noone is suggesting to just stay in bed forever, for me at least that is pretty detrimental to my MH anyway.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 13

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

physical health is more important imo

This sounds quite naive. Plenty of mental illnesses can be debilitating, its not a competition of which is worse as that will be individual to the person.
My BPD has given me more grief than my ovary condition for instance.
If people are in a poor frame of mind whether that be battling with an eating disorder, self harm, hearing voices etc then they aren't going to be productive with work or academics.
Obviously generally poor mental health with no underlying condition can generally be helped at least somewhat with self help or some resilience but for genuine illnesses they should be treated on a par with physical health whether this is therapy, medication or understanding from an employer or school.

Reply 14

luvinthedark

Original post by PewNews

not a fact
there's loads of physical illnesses that aren't connected to mental health

Reply 15

luvinthedark

Original post by CoolCavy

fair enough but ive been brought up to believe that mental health isn't as important as physical health
my family don't really care about mental health and neither do i
that might sound very insensitive and im sorry but i don't know how else to put it.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 16

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

I find that people dont care about mental health until they either experience it or know someone who suffers with it. It is easy for them (your family) to say it doesnt matter if they havent experienced it.
Just because you have been brought up in that environment doesnt mean you have to hold those views, do your own research and talk to those with experience. From this you can form your own opinion :smile:

Reply 17

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Of course but it will give a better insight to someone who has never experienced it and thinks it doesnt matter than saying nothing at all.
People without BPD will never fully comprehend what it is like to have it, im not going to stop talking about it because of that. I will help them understand as much as they can.
Conversations increase awareness and reduce stigma :smile:

Please spoiler anything to do with self harm as is in the TSR guidelines