The Student Room Group

Odd question

Girlfriend seems to never try and seduce me or flirt but just ask if we are or can have sex in the day or when it hits bedtime. I told her it takes away suspense or surprise and that she should just try flirting or seducing me by kissing feeling or talking to me, which is how I am with her and have had done by past girlfriends which leads to sex of courses. Is this normal to do? Like this is every time pretty much no kissing or anything just asking in advance not even trying her chances? Just seems odd to me. Let me know?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Girlfriend seems to never try and seduce me or flirt but just ask if we are or can have sex in the day or when it hits bedtime. I told her it takes away suspense or surprise and that she should just try flirting or seducing me by kissing feeling or talking to me, which is how I am with her and have had done by past girlfriends which leads to sex of courses. Is this normal to do? Like this is every time pretty much no kissing or anything just asking in advance not even trying her chances? Just seems odd to me. Let me know?

Just to mention the sex is usually great I just think if you want someone or at least think they turn you on or what not then surely if you have the time free you wouldn’t wait all day when you could jump on them or try your luck rather than just ask if it will happen in the day and make it weird and leave me to come onto you pretty much? Just makes it seem like you ain’t wanted like you want them right?
Hi there
Well I get you.
If I had a girlfriend, I would expect her to make a move, when she is the one who wants it. Like at least teasing me, flirting, kissing and the what not.
Ummm
I think it is quite tricky. Maybe she is a bit shy about the before sex thing. But I think that maybe for her, as you are the man, even if she is the one who wants it badly, you are the one who must make all the work from the beginning till the end. Maybe for her all she has to do is just ask if you two could do it, and that is all. Like she just hints at it, and you as the man do the rest.
It is quite sad; not all women think like that but many do.
Have you considered talk to her about it?
Reply 3
Original post by Ackhnologia
Hi there
Well I get you.
If I had a girlfriend, I would expect her to make a move, when she is the one who wants it. Like at least teasing me, flirting, kissing and the what not.
Ummm
I think it is quite tricky. Maybe she is a bit shy about the before sex thing. But I think that maybe for her, as you are the man, even if she is the one who wants it badly, you are the one who must make all the work from the beginning till the end. Maybe for her all she has to do is just ask if you two could do it, and that is all. Like she just hints at it, and you as the man do the rest.
It is quite sad; not all women think like that but many do.
Have you considered talk to her about it?

Hi, yes I have spoken to her about it but she argues the point and ses it makes her uncomfortable to try flirt and kiss etc... it’s just a bit disheartening to think she won’t ever just try to put effort in to grab my attention you know? It will lead to an argument unless I agree with her, I asked it there was a compromise of some sort but she just said she wants to ask and go from there hours later which i feel you should just do it when you are in the mood or at least try and test your luck as it’s your other half and you should trust they want you too. Thank you for your response.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, yes I have spoken to her about it but she argues the point and ses it makes her uncomfortable to try flirt and kiss etc... it’s just a bit disheartening to think she won’t ever just try to put effort in to grab my attention you know? It will lead to an argument unless I agree with her, I asked it there was a compromise of some sort but she just said she wants to ask and go from there hours later which i feel you should just do it when you are in the mood or at least try and test your luck as it’s your other half and you should trust they want you too. Thank you for your response.

Oh
What a shame
Maybe with time she will try to do it.
You are welcome🙏
Oml I’m kind of that type of gf and my bf has spoken to me about this too. I’m just really shy :^_^:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Oml I’m kind of that type of gf and my bf has spoken to me about this too. I’m just really shy :^_^:

But you still want him and everything right? you got any advice or tips for me to help her feel more comfortable or maybe have her try? thank you for the response lol
Original post by Anonymous
But you still want him and everything right? you got any advice or tips for me to help her feel more comfortable or maybe have her try? thank you for the response lol

Yh of course I still want to be with him. My bf had the same issue with me and he spoke to me about it and how we both need to contribute in the relationships or it to work out. I just then had to step out of my comfort zone and make the move.
It was really hard for me though as I’m a really shy person aha

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