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Mum wants to kick me out for being in a "Haram" relationship

I've been seeing my girlfriend (now fiancé) for about 2 years now, I love her more than anything in this whole world and she has really helped me through some tough times. My mum has been a religious muslim her whole life, and has followed the teachings of Islam from her parents. Anyways, I was planning to move out of the house and live in student accommodation in central London to study at London met with my fiancé, which my mother quickly told me not to do and stay at home with my, back then girlfriend, in the hopes of still having me in the house, which I quickly accepted as I thought it would bring my family and fiancé closer. after she was here for a couple days, my mother gave me her ring which she kept from her failed marriage which ended a couple years ago because it was an arranged marriage setup by their parents which didn't go very well for my mother, she was abused, tormented and mentally scared from that relationship, because she didn't give it enough time, see, she came from a very typical Bengali-South east Asian household which basically demoted all woman to property of man, you can disagree with me about that but I think that's what most logical people would see it, she gave it a whole week and married a disgusting man who hit her, constantly belittled her and made her feel like nothing. Besides the point, about the ring, she gave it to me for the hopes of changing the history on it. To make it a happier one. But she could still not get her mind out from the ground and see us for who we are, good people who have chose not to follow a religion. Her two faced attitude has conflicted me into thinking she doesn't truly care about my happiness as long as the rules for Islam are being met, my older sister in the household does not follow Islam, and my younger one only does it to make her mum happy. Back to the matter, she now is talking about kicking us out because I failed to convert her to a Muslim woman (something I NEVER told her I would do because following religion for her has lead to nothing but sadness, religion is a strong thing for some people but not us). I really need advise from people on what to do, because its to the point where I'm scared of my mother, her constant bullying for me and my fiancé to become a Muslim and make it a "Halal" relationship is about to finish me, I loved my mum because through everything I've been through and the decisions I've made, my mum has been there for me, but this, she is acting just like her ex-husband (my biological dad) and it's not the right attitude to have towards another human being, especially her own son, she has threatened to disown me many times and kick me and my fiancé out onto the streets, it is really impractical for us to do this because my fiancé's parents sent us so much money for furniture and she has spent a lot of her life savings (around £6000) to make the house a good area to live for the next couple of years, and student finance wouldn't help us through accommodation because it wouldn't cover enough to pay for rent, food, products for our two pet ferrets and etc. Please, some advise would really be appreciated.

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Avatar for Drewski
Drewski
19
You need paragraphs and a tl;dr.
Well that ws a bit confusing, from what I understood ur mum doesn't like ur fiancé because she's not muslim? Is that basically what ur saying?
Original post by spectrum84
Well that ws a bit confusing, from what I understood ur mum doesn't like ur fiancé because she's not muslim? Is that basically what ur saying?

From what I read yes.
Here's some advice OP, tell your mum how you feel. If she doesn't respect your decision then move out of you can or live with your fiancé's side until you can. Maybe your mum will come around after a while.
This sounds like bs...
Original post by Lilymae69
This sounds like bs...

Huh? Why?
My parents got an arranged marriage and ive never seen a couple more in love in all my life especially considering the fact that they've been married for 40 years. (i come from a Pakistani household). Personally you cant say Bengali culture treats women like that just because it happened to you when ive met a lot of Bengalis and worked wit a lot of Bengalis and there some of the nicest people ever and from what I can see treat there women with respect. However, I don't doubt there are Bengali men who treat their wives like ****. Islamically, speaking if you are a male you can marry a Christian, or a jew as they are referred to people of the book or in Arabic kitabiyah. At the end of the day you need to tell your mum how you feel and actually learn islam for yourself because your mother islamically speaking cannot force you to marry anyone. It seems as though your family has not received proper Islamic knowledge as you have a problem with separating culture from religion, and in turn this has actually turned you and your siblings away from the religion.
Moreover, it sounds like your mother got forced marriage not arranged marriage as there is a big difference
Original post by PewNews
Huh? Why?


If his mum was really a strict muslim she wouldnt accept him having a gf. plus other problems
Original post by Lilymae69
If his mum was really a strict muslim she wouldnt accept him having a gf. plus other problems

Oh ok
Original post by Lilymae69
If his mum was really a strict muslim she wouldnt accept him having a gf. plus other problems

Exactly whoever started this thread is probably just bored out their ass
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly whoever started this thread is probably just bored out their ass

Now I look like a dumbass for replying seriously 😗✌️
Original post by PewNews
Now I look like a dumbass for replying seriously 😗✌️

Nah it aint your fault your probably not muslim or from a similar culture so you wouldn't know what sounds realistic or not
it also sounds soo fake lmao i cant be bothered listing all the bs here
Original post by Demmandere
Nah it aint your fault your probably not muslim or from a similar culture so you wouldn't know what sounds realistic or not

Attachment not found
BRB gunna delete my account
Original post by PewNews
BRB gunna delete my account

wait DONTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Original post by PewNews
Attachment not found


whatever that attachment is it doesn't work
Original post by Anonymous
whatever that attachment is it doesn't work

Well I cba to explain it now since the mooo-d
( ͡≖ ͜ʖ ͡≖) is ruined.

Well done Gregg.

Original post by Lilymae69
wait DONTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Aww bless, I'll do it later

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