The Student Room Group

Height reduction surgery

Hello,
I need some advice. I am getting height reduction surgery next year in Turkey to take away 8cm of height ( I have debilitating BDD for my height ) I am 5 7 for reference and the average height in my country for a woman is 5 3. I know that nothing except this surgery will make me feel better, I am also going to have a nose job while I am there as I hate my nose. I’m so anxious at the moment however as I started chatting to this man I met briefly online, he’s from another country however was touring in my country as he is a musician. It’s only when I googled him I realised he’s really famous which doesn’t make a difference to me however being around beautiful woman I feel that he will have high expectations and I think online I look small however I am huge in person ( height wise ) also my nose from the side is terrible. He wants to fly me to his country in w couple of weeks and I’m so scared that I will be rejected because of my insecurities which will send me spiralling. I just wish I could have met him after my surgeries. When I told him my height he said, oh that’s quite high .. he also looks short online. I keep putting off flying over there but he’s really keen for me to come over. Idk what to do :frown: I cried for an hour last night as I just can’t get past this self loathing. I’m having vitamins, I go to the gym daily to do weight training and have lots of beauty treatments. There is nothing more I can do, I don’t think I’ll ever feel ok. I’ve had therapy for 6 years. I think sometimes some people are not meant to be happy as I have never known the feeling , everyday I say 3 things I am grateful for and meditate and try to keep positive

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I mean first of all - are you sure that the person you met online is really this famous musician? I find it unlikely that someone famous would approach a stranger online and then be inviting them to their country. Please be careful - don't fly anywhere unless you're sure that it's safe!
Reply 2
Original post by apolaroidofus
I mean first of all - are you sure that the person you met online is really this famous musician? I find it unlikely that someone famous would approach a stranger online and then be inviting them to their country. Please be careful - don't fly anywhere unless you're sure that it's safe!

Hiya, thank you for your reply - yes basically he came here to do collabs etc and downloaded it for a day and we happened to match but I have called him and FaceTimed etc so it’s definitely him he’s all verified etc and we have spoken on there :smile:
I want to be tall and beautiful like you🥺
Reply 4
Original post by deadroseex
I want to be tall and beautiful like you🥺

Aww that’s so sweet I don’t know why though I’d do anything to be small! Small and cute, every man I speak to only likes small woman! How tall are you? X
If he genuinely likes you I promise you that he won't reject you because of your height/nose and if he does then he's just superficial and I know its tricky to believe but you're 100% better off without him :smile:
Have you spoken to your therapist about getting surgery? It's just that I would wonder if you got the surgery would it get rid of your BDD or would it just switch to focus on something else? Nobody will ever be perfect. I know you might think it's the only thing that will make you feel better now, but I would just discuss with your therapist and research if it actually works for your condition. Theres no point risking your life and spending money if it won't even work.

I'm sorry for how you're feeling right now :frown:( and I really do hope that things get better for you. Have you maybe tried switching to a different therapist or looking at other services? I sometimes feel as though I'm just not meant to be happy too, I get where you're coming from. But at the end of the day, we don't know the answer to that. I don't really think it's true, and your life could go anywhere. Thinking that just makes you stuck.
I love being a tall girl. I feel tall and strong, powerful and in-control. Its nothing to do with being aggressive or anything, i just feel so empowered. My nose isn't small or straight and my hair frizzes out in all directions sometimes. But i love it. I am a strong, beautiful and smart woman. You are too.

Learn to love yourself.
Reply 8
Original post by apolaroidofus
If he genuinely likes you I promise you that he won't reject you because of your height/nose and if he does then he's just superficial and I know its tricky to believe but you're 100% better off without him :smile:

Ahh thank you I suppose so I’m just feeling like when I see him he’s going to be disappointed I don’t know :frown:
Reply 9
Original post by gomgossa
Have you spoken to your therapist about getting surgery? It's just that I would wonder if you got the surgery would it get rid of your BDD or would it just switch to focus on something else? Nobody will ever be perfect. I know you might think it's the only thing that will make you feel better now, but I would just discuss with your therapist and research if it actually works for your condition. Theres no point risking your life and spending money if it won't even work.

I'm sorry for how you're feeling right now :frown:( and I really do hope that things get better for you. Have you maybe tried switching to a different therapist or looking at other services? I sometimes feel as though I'm just not meant to be happy too, I get where you're coming from. But at the end of the day, we don't know the answer to that. I don't really think it's true, and your life could go anywhere. Thinking that just makes you stuck.

Hello, thank you - I really appreciate that. You are right life can definitely go anywhere and I hope it gets happier for you also, I have mentioned it and she says that it will not help and only move to other things and I’m sure it’s the case but having bdd & ocd until the problem in my mind is fixed it will never go away. At school I used to not eat / sleep / have hot showers etc as I was scared of growing taller and I nearly took my life. It sounds silly but to me nothing has brought me more pain than this and if I can do anything to help it even if it’s risky I will do it. I think now surgeons do need to screen for bdd as it’s common to get surgeries if you have it then not be happy after still but I will have to lie. Sorry for being so depressing haha
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I love being a tall girl. I feel tall and strong, powerful and in-control. Its nothing to do with being aggressive or anything, i just feel so empowered. My nose isn't small or straight and my hair frizzes out in all directions sometimes. But i love it. I am a strong, beautiful and smart woman. You are too.

Learn to love yourself.

Thank you 😓🥺
Personally your height doesnt seem a issue for me.
But if it is for you I understand,
The issue you will have is the cost. I highly doubt the NHS pay for limb reduction surgery so you will have to get it abroad and it will no doubt cost upwards of £50000+ all for losing a few inches and over 6 months of rehab. (At a guess anyway)
Original post by Lili B
Aww that’s so sweet I don’t know why though I’d do anything to be small! Small and cute, every man I speak to only likes small woman! How tall are you? X


5'3. I get bullied for being so short and 'compressed'. I wish I was just a bit taller like you so I could be a model and stuff. I am to short, however, your height shouldn't matter to the boys. I do get UNWANTED attention from boys. They love to mock me being so short but just know your height doesn't matter nor does it define you. You probably are beautiful and have a stunning personality & that is what counts. Plus most boys are taller than you so they shouldn't beg it for 4'11 minions like me when they have models. 💙🥰xx
Reply 13
Original post by deadroseex
5'3. I get bullied for being so short and 'compressed'. I wish I was just a bit taller like you so I could be a model and stuff. I am to short, however, your height shouldn't matter to the boys. I do get UNWANTED attention from boys. They love to mock me being so short but just know your height doesn't matter nor does it define you. You probably are beautiful and have a stunning personality & that is what counts. Plus most boys are taller than you so they shouldn't beg it for 4'11 minions like me when they have models. 💙🥰xx

Ohh no your height it perfect! And guys only tease girls they like! Trust me 💜 and you could be a model nowadays they have all heights 😄 that’s very sweet thank you, I don’t know I just feel that being bigger is being more masculine you know. I’m just so scared for his reaction as it’s normal in their country to be very direct ( he told me this ) 😩 xxx
Original post by Lili B
Ohh no your height it perfect! And guys only tease girls they like! Trust me 💜 and you could be a model nowadays they have all heights 😄 that’s very sweet thank you, I don’t know I just feel that being bigger is being more masculine you know. I’m just so scared for his reaction as it’s normal in their country to be very direct ( he told me this ) 😩 xxx

Haha thank you so much 💕 Don't worry everything will happen as it is. You will have to see how it all goes. His reaction shouldn't matter if he truly cares for you, he will not care. He may be a bit direct but it shouldn't be something that hurts you and stuff. He likes your personality, and that's why he is willing to meet you. Not because of your height. It hasn't occurred to him most likely nor given much thought to it.

I hope everything goes well for you🥰xx
Good luckkkk xo
5'7 isn't even that tall, it's the perfect height for a woman in my opinion
I feel attacked rn lool- 5’7 is not really on the tall nor short side
As a person of around 5’7-5’8, Love your height, don’t consider surgery over a person out of 7 billion people...at the end of the day, it’s your decision..

Personally I think that the idea of a height reduction surgery is ridiculous
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 17
Original post by deadroseex
5'3. I get bullied for being so short and 'compressed'. I wish I was just a bit taller like you so I could be a model and stuff. I am to short, however, your height shouldn't matter to the boys. I do get UNWANTED attention from boys. They love to mock me being so short but just know your height doesn't matter nor does it define you. You probably are beautiful and have a stunning personality & that is what counts. Plus most boys are taller than you so they shouldn't beg it for 4'11 minions like me when they have models. 💙🥰xx


:confused:

how can you be getting bullied for your height when the average adult female height in the uk is 5ft 3in (google it)
Original post by ANM775
:confused:

how can you be getting bullied for your height when the average adult female height in the uk is 5ft 3in (google it)

FR?? NO. In school I am the shortest person in my year group. The Year 7's are taller than me...and I am in Year 10.
Reply 19
Original post by deadroseex
FR?? NO. In school I am the shortest person in my year group. The Year 7's are taller than me...and I am in Year 10.


you must be under 5ft 3 then. who measured you?

If 5ft 3 is the average female adult height I very much doubt that over 99.9% of girls in the year group are taller than this.

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