boyfriend has bad credit - am i delusional or lack empathy

I love my bf so much, he’s very caring and does try to spoil me. He saved up for our anniversary and is very affectionate.

My family are not rich my any means but my parents are professionals and own some property. My siblings are in the finance sector so money isn’t really a struggle for us generally.

My family don’t know about my boyfriend yet, i’m planning to tell them but i’m so worried as he has terrible credit. I’m sure my brother would be able to find out (very senior investment banker) or just in general it would be obvious when we struggle to rent a place because of his poor credit score (he has an IVA which means it will stay bad for 6 years).

Right now my boyfriend rents from private landlords that don’t need credit scores but if we wanted to move into our own place with an agent it’s going to be difficult. My family are going to judge him.

The debt that caused him to go into an iva was careless spending in his early 20s that lead to 7k debt. generally he’s not careless with money tho he just comes from a family who habe always struggles and didn’t get taught about money management. I pester him to save and i hope he does but i’m not sure - it’s not really my business.

Am i being really mean? should i be more understanding ??? Is debt/finance issues pretty standard in your 20s?

You should be more understanding. People struggling through debt often don't have a choice. It has nothing to do with how well they can manage money.
Honestly, this really sounds like you're embarrassed about his background and you're covering this up by claiming you're worried about his credit. If he is privately renting and paying for his own utilities, phone contract, etc. All of this would contribute positively to his credit score anyway. Yes, it may still be poor, but he's probably working on it.
I actually think it's awful that you have considered getting your brother to find out your boyfriend's credit score. Why not speak to your boyfriend instead of doing something he would have every right to break up with you for. Bring up that you'd maybe like to buy a property with him soon. Ask if you could both apply for a credit rating so you can see what kind of financial standing you'd have to apply for a mortgage with. If his does come back quite low, then you know to wait a bit of time or speak to a mortgage advisor and see if your combined credit would be fine etc.
You're fine to be worried about finances, but this is all stuff you should be talking to him about, not slating him for on TSR. In my opinion you're being unfairly harsh on your boyfriend, especially given his background. If he came from a family who struggled with debt, chances are knowing you came from a family of financial privalege is probably an area of worry for him.

Depends how serious you are. If you're just going out - who cares. If you might have a long term future, then having an IVA already is nothing to really joke about.

And what about you? Can’t you afford your own apartment

Not alone no. but my credit is good

we couldn’t run a credit check because he has an IVA. You can’t get a mortgage with that . that’s why i worry we can’t rent

All of this would contribute positively to his credit score anyway. Yes, it may still be poor, but he's probably working on it.

The problem is if someone has an IVA, no amount of rebuilding will fix your credit for six years after you get the IVA. You are basically persona non grata, it is worse than getting a CCJ and nearly as bad as declaring bankruptcy.

The debt that caused him to go into an iva was careless spending in his early 20s that lead to 7k debt. generally he’s not careless with money tho he just comes from a family who habe always struggles and didn’t get taught about money management. I pester him to save and i hope he does but i’m not sure - it’s not really my business.

Am i being really mean? should i be more understanding ??? Is debt/finance issues pretty standard in your 20s?

The problem is if someone has an IVA, no amount of rebuilding will fix your credit for six years after you get the IVA. You are basically persona non grata, it is worse than getting a CCJ and nearly as bad as declaring bankruptcy.

It would be totally illegal for your siblings to look up the credit rating of your boyfriend without his written permission. If your brother does this, your boyfriend can sue your brother and pay off all his debts.

Sorted.