The Student Room Group

Bf won’t go on public transport

He drives but I don’t and every time I want to him to use it with me he makes excuses. He takes me out but I would prefer it we both left his car at home and used the train, bus or tram together because it’s more relaxing but he is quite reluctant on doing it. He literally refuses or makes excuses not to use it. The other day I kept asking him to come on which he eventually did but I had to say it’s a 1 off and even then he was saying why can’t we use a cab which I would but its expensive. I just feel like it’s only fair that he takes me out in his car and I take him out my way but because I don’t drive I take him on public transport.

I know none of this is a big deal but he kind of hurt my feelings when I asked why he asked him the reasons about not wanting to use it. He said it’s disgusting, nasty and “trampy” apparently which I questioned him on and he meant the bus in particular is “trampy” and it’s for “failures who can’t drive use” it’s kind of hurt my feelings because I use it regularly and he know I do.

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
He drives but I don’t and every time I want to him to use it with me he makes excuses. He takes me out but I would prefer it we both left his car at home and used the train, bus or tram together because it’s more relaxing but he is quite reluctant on doing it. He literally refuses or makes excuses not to use it. The other day I kept asking him to come on which he eventually did but I had to say it’s a 1 off and even then he was saying why can’t we use a cab which I would but its expensive. I just feel like it’s only fair that he takes me out in his car and I take him out my way but because I don’t drive I take him on public transport.

I know none of this is a big deal but he kind of hurt my feelings when I asked why he asked him the reasons about not wanting to use it. He said it’s disgusting, nasty and “trampy” apparently which I questioned him on and he meant the bus in particular is “trampy” and it’s for “failures who can’t drive use” it’s kind of hurt my feelings because I use it regularly and he know I do.

I don’t get him to use it all the time I just mean can we sometimes travel on the bus and even it up
Original post by Anonymous
He drives but I don’t and every time I want to him to use it with me he makes excuses. He takes me out but I would prefer it we both left his car at home and used the train, bus or tram together because it’s more relaxing but he is quite reluctant on doing it. He literally refuses or makes excuses not to use it. The other day I kept asking him to come on which he eventually did but I had to say it’s a 1 off and even then he was saying why can’t we use a cab which I would but its expensive. I just feel like it’s only fair that he takes me out in his car and I take him out my way but because I don’t drive I take him on public transport.

I know none of this is a big deal but he kind of hurt my feelings when I asked why he asked him the reasons about not wanting to use it. He said it’s disgusting, nasty and “trampy” apparently which I questioned him on and he meant the bus in particular is “trampy” and it’s for “failures who can’t drive use” it’s kind of hurt my feelings because I use it regularly and he know I do.

hahah the last sentence, he sounds like me. good on him tbh
Reply 3
Original post by A Rolling Stone
hahah the last sentence, he sounds like me. good on him tbh

How does he sound like you?
Refusing to use public transport at all seems childish to me but I guess that's his prerogative.

And as someone who doesn't drive and uses trains, I definitely object to being called a failure.
Reply 5
Original post by TheSagittarius
Refusing to use public transport at all seems childish to me but I guess that's his prerogative.

And as someone who doesn't drive and uses trains, I definitely object to being called a failure.

It is pretty childish to not use it yes
Reply 6
Bump
He is generally correct, I only use public transport when my car breaks down or when it's just too inconvenient to use a car use like when going into central London.

I don't think I have every seen an attractive girl on the tube. I used to use the tube a fair amount when I used to live in London. The buses often have scroaty people on board and the trains odd bods. I don't like all the people that talk on their mobile phones or can't shut up and instead have to air their oddball conversation to everyone around them. I also don't see the point on strangers who sit at the tables on trains rattling on to other strangers at the table about their lives then get off and likely never see that person again it makes no sense to me.

I'm an everyday looking guy but once a couple of years back I had some old tart a good decade or so older than me and dressed rather cheaply sit next to me pushing her side into mine. I shifted over and fortunately she did not follow but it was not a pleasant experience to say the least and women complain they have it bad, lol.

I also don't like waiting for connecting trains or train station waiting rooms for much the same reasons particularly if someone has an annoying cough.

With the present virus situation I would avoid public transport like the plague as it pretty much is one.
i’ve never known anyone be mad that their partner drives them around and wants them to use public transport🤨
Reply 9
Original post by Gavin2016
He is generally correct, I only use public transport when my car breaks down or when it's just too inconvenient to use a car use like when going into central London.

I don't think I have every seen an attractive girl on the tube. I used to use the tube a fair amount when I used to live in London. The buses often have scroaty people on board and the trains odd bods. I don't like all the people that talk on their mobile phones or can't shut up and instead have to air their oddball conversation to everyone around them. I also don't see the point on strangers who sit at the tables on trains rattling on to other strangers at the table about their lives then get off and likely never see that person again it makes no sense to me.

I'm an everyday looking guy but once a couple of years back I had some old tart a good decade or so older than me and dressed rather cheaply sit next to me pushing her side into mine. I shifted over and fortunately she did not follow but it was not a pleasant experience to say the least and women complain they have it bad, lol.

I also don't like waiting for connecting trains or train station waiting rooms for much the same reasons particularly if someone has an annoying cough.

With the present virus situation I would avoid public transport like the plague as it pretty much is one.

I don’t think it’s right to judge people who use it, if anything I think it should be drivers who should be judged for ruining the environment. Public transport is good for the environment even outside London, It might be better if they had some sort of way of sanitizing sort of thing when people go and a new person comes on it could be sanitised.
Original post by MadameRazz
i’ve never known anyone be mad that their partner drives them around and wants them to use public transport🤨

I’m not mad, it just would be good if he used it with me and it’s just what he said did hurt my feelings but I’m not angry about it, probably more upset and disappointed that he’s being judging
I feel like he should use it, obviously it's better for the environment, however considering the times we're in it's probably best to stick to driving (thus avoiding mingling with the masses on public transport...)

That might be his reasoning for it and he may simply not want to admit it; I know that most, and I mean most people that I know, refuse to use public transport at the moment. I support them for it and don't blame them at all: the less the better for me >:P

Anyway, it may not be great for the environment, but given the number of yobs riding the buses without masks, much less that jack*** that decides to sit right in front of you or right behind you (who proceeds to cough) it seems suitable, at least for now until things get normal after a while.
A lot of students and professionals do tend to use public transport like the trams and train to get to work as traffic in the morning is so bad, not just failures ’🙄. Just tell him it made you upset that he said that because you use it. Also there’s nothing wrong with using public transport, it’s better environmentally and is more convenient for a lot of people.
Original post by Callicious
I feel like he should use it, obviously it's better for the environment, however considering the times we're in it's probably best to stick to driving (thus avoiding mingling with the masses on public transport...)

That might be his reasoning for it and he may simply not want to admit it; I know that most, and I mean most people that I know, refuse to use public transport at the moment. I support them for it and don't blame them at all: the less the better for me >:P

Anyway, it may not be great for the environment, but given the number of yobs riding the buses without masks, much less that jack*** that decides to sit right in front of you or right behind you (who proceeds to cough) it seems suitable, at least for now until things get normal after a while.

I know about that and understand but I know he’d be exactly the same if this COVID wasn’t even a thing. That’s another the thing he isn’t taking this Covid seriously
Original post by Anonymous
A lot of students and professionals do tend to use public transport like the trams and train to get to work as traffic in the morning is so bad, not just failures ’🙄. Just tell him it made you upset that he said that because you use it. Also there’s nothing wrong with using public transport, it’s better environmentally and is more convenient for a lot of people.

Yes I fully agree, I might tell him it was hurtful he we he said
Original post by Anonymous
I know about that and understand but I know he’d be exactly the same if this COVID wasn’t even a thing. That’s another the thing he isn’t taking this Covid seriously

Honestly in times like these the best you can do is try to gently educate your partner. The public transport issue doesn't seem like it'd be a deal-breaker, so maybe trying to ween him off driving for everything over time is the best you can do. Could also flaunt the cash benefits of not emptying his pockets for gas and insurance every year.

As for the COVID consideration...Yikes.

I don't know anyone who has died from it, but I've known a few who have edged it and have parents who will 100% die from it when/if they get it. I don't exaggerate on that point, either. The common flu could knock them out and they're in their 50's. From this position I feel like you should probably educate the guy a bit on this, though that might just be me being pushy :_;
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t think it’s right to judge people who use it, if anything I think it should be drivers who should be judged for ruining the environment. Public transport is good for the environment even outside London, It might be better if they had some sort of way of sanitizing sort of thing when people go and a new person comes on it could be sanitised.

Better to get full Hazmat suits :wink:
Original post by Callicious
Honestly in times like these the best you can do is try to gently educate your partner. The public transport issue doesn't seem like it'd be a deal-breaker, so maybe trying to ween him off driving for everything over time is the best you can do. Could also flaunt the cash benefits of not emptying his pockets for gas and insurance every year.

As for the COVID consideration...Yikes.

I don't know anyone who has died from it, but I've known a few who have edged it and have parents who will 100% die from it when/if they get it. I don't exaggerate on that point, either. The common flu could knock them out and they're in their 50's. From this position I feel like you should probably educate the guy a bit on this, though that might just be me being pushy :_;

Yes he needs educating on what he shouldn’t say and needs to learn about pollution on how it effects the environment. It might be better to not use public transport then but it doesn’t mean you have to use the car, I have also tried to get him to walk and which is healthier, cheap and less damaging to the economy but he won’t do that.

With the Covid thing, he thinks it’s exaggerated and I have to tell him it’s not, if anything it’s the opposite and I think it should be taken more seriously, I think we should have another full lockdown and they lifted the restrictions too early imo. He has also been reluctant on reporting rule breakers, some of our neighbours were rule breakers and he was encouraging me not to report them
Original post by Gavin2016
Better to get full Hazmat suits :wink:

Sorry?
Original post by Anonymous
Yes he needs educating on what he shouldn’t say and needs to learn about pollution on how it effects the environment. It might be better to not use public transport then but it doesn’t mean you have to use the car, I have also tried to get him to walk and which is healthier, cheap and less damaging to the economy but he won’t do that.

With the Covid thing, he thinks it’s exaggerated and I have to tell him it’s not, if anything it’s the opposite and I think it should be taken more seriously, I think we should have another full lockdown and they lifted the restrictions too early imo. He has also been reluctant on reporting rule breakers, some of our neighbours were rule breakers and he was encouraging me not to report them

Should give him the fat statistics on the matter and explain to him the other effects of infection. A lot of folks just don't get the full implications of a pandemic. The biggest point that might be worth talking about would be the fact that routine treatment is basically ruined and many more conditions are being left off the board due to COVID, from cancers to hip replacements (which can have awful implications for QoL down the line and also cause complications...).

In any case, there's a lot that people don't understand and some simple explanations can clear that up. Heck, I've met people who think a single layer of polyester (or god forbid the "shirt pull" mask) will protect them, since they cover their face. Spoiler: it's a legal requirement to cover your face, but some dirty ragged shirt or woven polyester 1-ply won't do ****.

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