everything is falling apart
Everything in my life is just falling apart. I recently moved across the country and changed unis but everything is just going wrong and I feel like everytime I try to get my life on track, I'm just punished for it.
I've struggled with mental health pro lens for years and have been on tablets occasionally and had one or two counsellors but none of that has helped at all. It always feels like any help I get no one can really be bothered with it. I had a counsellor at my previous uni but as soon as lock down started she didn't bother replying to me even though I sent her one or two emails.
My whole student finance for this new uni was suddenly cancelled the other day because of them messing it up. I can't apply for it again because my account just won't work to do it and everytime I call them up they won't help me and say to wait a few days. I have no money and rent and bills are soon to be paid.
I've tried hard to find work and have applied for lots of jobs but I get rejected from all of them.my friends from my previous uni have all stopped talking to me and ignore me in our group chat.
I love with my mother currently and she can see that I'm spiraling but she just chooses to ignore it. I haven't left my bed in the last 2 days or ate anything and she can hear me crying sometimes but doesn't do anything. She has never been able to deal with my mental health problems.
At 29 I feel like a complete failure. I have no degree or proper qualifications that are worth anything, no friends, no job, no self esteem, I'm always frightened to go outside and I'm questioning if I'm even interested in this new uni course at all.
I feel like I've made a huge mistake and I honestly cannot see anyway of my life ever improving. It doesn't matter what I do, I always end up back at this default state of depressed, jobless, pennyless and alone.
I've struggled with mental health pro lens for years and have been on tablets occasionally and had one or two counsellors but none of that has helped at all. It always feels like any help I get no one can really be bothered with it. I had a counsellor at my previous uni but as soon as lock down started she didn't bother replying to me even though I sent her one or two emails.
My whole student finance for this new uni was suddenly cancelled the other day because of them messing it up. I can't apply for it again because my account just won't work to do it and everytime I call them up they won't help me and say to wait a few days. I have no money and rent and bills are soon to be paid.
I've tried hard to find work and have applied for lots of jobs but I get rejected from all of them.my friends from my previous uni have all stopped talking to me and ignore me in our group chat.
I love with my mother currently and she can see that I'm spiraling but she just chooses to ignore it. I haven't left my bed in the last 2 days or ate anything and she can hear me crying sometimes but doesn't do anything. She has never been able to deal with my mental health problems.
At 29 I feel like a complete failure. I have no degree or proper qualifications that are worth anything, no friends, no job, no self esteem, I'm always frightened to go outside and I'm questioning if I'm even interested in this new uni course at all.
I feel like I've made a huge mistake and I honestly cannot see anyway of my life ever improving. It doesn't matter what I do, I always end up back at this default state of depressed, jobless, pennyless and alone.
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much. It must be so hard for you.
Is there anything that could possibly be affecting your life right now, apart from the things you've stated (like your mental health)?
Jobs - have you reflected on why you got rejected from them? Maybe they were looking for individuals who had specific traits suited for the job and you didn't hit all of them (I'm not saying you're not cut out for the job). Things like the way you speak, your body language, posture, tone of voice, the responses you give and facial expressions matter. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you didn't get the job, try to use it to improve yourself.
I don't mean to be rude but could you maybe be the issue? Like it's not normal for your friends to suddenly ignore you, especially your mum.
Have you been asking for help from your friends? If so how much? If you do it too much, they could feel put off/frustrated - there's only a certain amount someone can mentally handle from someone else. Have you talked to your friends at all (like texting them first or had you just been waiting for them to text you?).
When talking to others, how do you usually respond to them? How do you talk to them? Do you let your emotions reflect the way you respond to others? (e.g. when you're angry, do you act aggressive towards others even when they're not the reason why you're angry?).
Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, I just want you to see things from another perspective
I'm sorry if I got everything wrong, please do correct me if that is the case. If you need more help, I'm here!
Is there anything that could possibly be affecting your life right now, apart from the things you've stated (like your mental health)?
Jobs - have you reflected on why you got rejected from them? Maybe they were looking for individuals who had specific traits suited for the job and you didn't hit all of them (I'm not saying you're not cut out for the job). Things like the way you speak, your body language, posture, tone of voice, the responses you give and facial expressions matter. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you didn't get the job, try to use it to improve yourself.
I don't mean to be rude but could you maybe be the issue? Like it's not normal for your friends to suddenly ignore you, especially your mum.
Have you been asking for help from your friends? If so how much? If you do it too much, they could feel put off/frustrated - there's only a certain amount someone can mentally handle from someone else. Have you talked to your friends at all (like texting them first or had you just been waiting for them to text you?).
When talking to others, how do you usually respond to them? How do you talk to them? Do you let your emotions reflect the way you respond to others? (e.g. when you're angry, do you act aggressive towards others even when they're not the reason why you're angry?).
Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, I just want you to see things from another perspective
I'm sorry if I got everything wrong, please do correct me if that is the case. If you need more help, I'm here!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much. It must be so hard for you.
Is there anything that could possibly be affecting your life right now, apart from the things you've stated (like your mental health)?
Jobs - have you reflected on why you got rejected from them? Maybe they were looking for individuals who had specific traits suited for the job and you didn't hit all of them (I'm not saying you're not cut out for the job). Things like the way you speak, your body language, posture, tone of voice, the responses you give and facial expressions matter. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you didn't get the job, try to use it to improve yourself.
I don't mean to be rude but could you maybe be the issue? Like it's not normal for your friends to suddenly ignore you, especially your mum.
Have you been asking for help from your friends? If so how much? If you do it too much, they could feel put off/frustrated - there's only a certain amount someone can mentally handle from someone else. Have you talked to your friends at all (like texting them first or had you just been waiting for them to text you?).
When talking to others, how do you usually respond to them? How do you talk to them? Do you let your emotions reflect the way you respond to others? (e.g. when you're angry, do you act aggressive towards others even when they're not the reason why you're angry?).
Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, I just want you to see things from another perspective
I'm sorry if I got everything wrong, please do correct me if that is the case. If you need more help, I'm here!
Is there anything that could possibly be affecting your life right now, apart from the things you've stated (like your mental health)?
Jobs - have you reflected on why you got rejected from them? Maybe they were looking for individuals who had specific traits suited for the job and you didn't hit all of them (I'm not saying you're not cut out for the job). Things like the way you speak, your body language, posture, tone of voice, the responses you give and facial expressions matter. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you didn't get the job, try to use it to improve yourself.
I don't mean to be rude but could you maybe be the issue? Like it's not normal for your friends to suddenly ignore you, especially your mum.
Have you been asking for help from your friends? If so how much? If you do it too much, they could feel put off/frustrated - there's only a certain amount someone can mentally handle from someone else. Have you talked to your friends at all (like texting them first or had you just been waiting for them to text you?).
When talking to others, how do you usually respond to them? How do you talk to them? Do you let your emotions reflect the way you respond to others? (e.g. when you're angry, do you act aggressive towards others even when they're not the reason why you're angry?).
Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, I just want you to see things from another perspective
I'm sorry if I got everything wrong, please do correct me if that is the case. If you need more help, I'm here!
I have had breakdowns in the past and have previously tried something which I'm not allowed to write here or I'd be in trouble. So my feeling like this isn't seething new to me unfortunately.
With the job front, the only ones I can apply for are cleaner jobs or checkout jobs. I've worked both those previously so have experience in them but even for those I get rejected or never hear back. I don't even get to a point where it could be something I'm saying wrong and affecting it since I don't ever get interviews or even close to it, though in interviews I do actually suck hard because I get incredibly anxious and ramble nonsense.
My friends from uni (5 of them) were a bit annoyed that I changed courses and moved away. I was eager to stay in touch with them and join in their conversations in the group chat and ask them all how everything and everyone is doing and what the 2nd byear of their course is like but my messages either get ignored or get a one word answer. It feels like now I'm not there they don't see the point in talking to me anymore which I guess I get but it still stings a lot.
I don't discuss my problems with people, or family really. It only ever comes up when the feeling overwhelms me like it is now and I can no longer function but that hasn't happened for at least a year now. I've never asked for help from my friends and they don't know anything about my mental health problems. Despite it, I do prefer people to see and think of me as a jokey laughy sort of person and even though I can get really angry sometimes it's only ever directed at myself when I'm alone. I'm not an aggressive or confrontational sort of person, in fact that scares me and I hate arguments.
Original post by Mkb24764
You need medical help, urgently.
I have got a gp appointment but it's so busy it's booked in a couple of weeks from now so it's mostly a waiting game.
Original post by Anonymous
I have got a gp appointment but it's so busy it's booked in a couple of weeks from now so it's mostly a waiting game.
When you speak to them, explain everything you've written here. Hang in there. Things change. If you need to talk, feel free to send me a message.
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