Is uni similar to school in terms of friendship?

So when you start uni, are you going to end up making friends with people around your age? I think im gonna be taking another gap year, so by the time i enter uni ill be 20 .. finishing school, i want to make friends who are in my "year" so to say but they'd be in 3rd year by the time im there..

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

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There isn't a huge gap between 18 and 20 so you will find friends amongst the freshers even if you are little older than some. Also if you only make friends will 3rd years you won't have many friends in your own 2/3rd year so try and be open minded. There isn't a huge gulf between you.

Also clubs and societies are great way to meet people from all years and of all ages.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by FW20

There isn't a huge gap between 18 and 20 so you will find friends amongst the freshers even if you are little older. Also if you only make friends will 3rd years you won't have many friends in your own 2/3rd year so try and be open minded. There isn't a huge gulf between you.

Also clubs and societies are great way to meet people from all years and of all ages.

thank you for the reply! thats true, most of them would be leaving 3rd year and im guessing they'd be too busy with exams..?
So is it still possible to make friend's with the 3rd year students as a fresher? And how do friendships work - do you find most friendships from your course and are years in uni well mixed?

Reply 5

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

People don't only fraternise with those of their same age at uni...generally everyone aged 18-23 or so tend to have more or less the same maturity level and engage in the same things. Not all freshers are school leavers, and many will have taken a gap year or two or three, and quite a few will be mature students with ages ranging from 21 to 80. Generally only mature students who are 25 or older tend to be less likely to engage in the usual frivolities of university life, and that is typical by their own choice because they have their own life outside of uni and don't feel the need to engage with the other people on their course beyond being friendly colleagues.

You seem more hung up on only making friends of the same age than other people will be (and have been, in my experience).

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 6

MinnieW09

You will meet people through your course, through halls or through societies/clubs or if you have a part time job/volunteer.

You don't have to be the exact same age to form a friendship. At 20 you won't be vastly different to an 18 year old or a "mature student" of 21/22.

Reply 7

username3508100

Age doesn't really matter at uni. One of my friends is 24 and I'm 19, and then another is 22 and all her friends are 19. It's unnoticeable.

I think you're more likely to make friends with people via your course and accommodation, who will also all be first year. You may meet third years via societies and sports, but I don't see why you'd want to form close friendships with them as they'll probably only be around uni for a year, and then who will you hang around with in second and third year?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by wastedcuriosity

Original post by FW20

Original post by artful_lounger

Thank you for the replies! I guess its becuase im used to the school system of years so its imprinted on me lol. But just to make me at ease, does that mean its not hard to make friends with 3rd years? Will they be preoccupied with work and friendship groups? And mixed age friends are normal ?

Reply 9

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Mixed age friendships are normal, and getting to know other people on various different years of other degrees is inevitable. I became friends with a number of PhD students at uni serendipitously due to a friend of a friend being on a PhD there, and I ended up hanging out with this friend of a friend and his PhD colleagues a lot and got to know them that way. It usually pays dividends to at least talk to the students in upper years to get an idea of e.g. which optional modules to take or avoid etc. However they will probably already have established friendship groups so it's usually more the case of engaging with them as peers and colleagues in your department.

However just because they are a third year student doesn't mean they will be the same age as you if you join after being out of school for two years. They may well be a mature student who was older when they started, so they would be several years older in that case. They might have ended up going to uni a year early due to being moved ahead in school at a younger age (I know someone this was the case for - he started uni at 17). There is just literally no correspondence between "year group" and age at uni at all. It's nothing like school in that respect. You also aren't only going to be getting to know people on your course that you have classes with, and you have far less timetabled activities and more unstructured time to get to know people in (also to do your work, of course).

You really need to move out of this school age mindset. It's nothing like that, and clinging to it as you are is not going to actually be productive or helpful in your uni career, either in terms of academics or socially.

Reply 10

WhatstheT

I was never very popular at school but when I got to university I never had that problem as I made friends who were relevant to me instead of being forced into friendship groups like you are at school. I'm still friends with all of them to this day and I've made friends for life.

You'll make friends with people from you course but make sure you put yourself out there to meet new people. I met my closest friend via a mature students group and my others were either coursemates or friends I made outside of uni.

You'll be absolutely fine :smile: