What do you think people dating someone who waaayyy younger/older than them?

Other_Owl

22

Like to be considered their child/parent or grandchild/parent or even breeding with them.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 1

londonmyst

19

I only date guys older than me, with a 15+ year age gap.
Sometimes guys in their 40s+ date women decades younger than them because they want to have biological children and believe a younger woman is more likely to be agreeable to this ambition and less likely to have fertility problems.

Reply 2

cloud_9_

18

Original post by londonmyst

I only date guys older than me, with a 15+ year age gap.

Why specifically 15+ age gap?

Reply 3

londonmyst

19

Original post by cloud_9_

Why specifically 15+ age gap?

Mostly attraction, shared interests and compatible lifestyle related.
I've never been attracted to guys younger than me or those in their 20s.
I'm not compatible with hardcore gym guys, playground whiners, heavy users of modern tech or those who are into online gaming/identity politics/porn.
Guys in their early to mid 30s are often also into many of those things and don't have much in common with me.

Reply 4

candydiva

16

Original post by londonmyst

Mostly attraction, shared interests and compatible lifestyle related.
I've never been attracted to guys younger than me or those in their 20s.
I'm not compatible with hardcore gym guys, playground whiners, heavy users of modern tech or those who are into online gaming/identity politics/porn.
Guys in their early to mid 30s are often also into many of those things and don't have much in common with me.

I don't mind younger dudes as playtoys. But for more serious rels....what she said... lol!

It is hard to detail all the issues I have found with boys my age. The tech/gamer obsession is one. I like online discussions but only with real people not fake bots or borgs. Porn I don't mind unless the obsession undermines normal daily life.

I like men who can drive, have had real jobs for some years and have a solid professional background, who have had real relationships before and even if they failed as a result they have a deeper understanding of themselves as well as women, who are socially adept, who don't blow me off, who respect important things in life and give me my space, who DO NOT attempt to control or neg me that's such a dealbreaker. I like it when he has some real experience to share.

I find younger dudes underconfident in rels and real life and they seem to find it hard to maintain mature outlook. I agree that even early 30s can be too young.

Reply 5

tashkent46

20

Youth is wasted on the young

Reply 6

scar05

15

i dated someone younger but most of the time i date someone older but i think its your chossen depends if you truly wanna be together

Reply 7

username402722

19

Men who ditch their wives once the wife gets to 40 and then marry a 25 year old, then repeat 10-15 years later, etc etc, I view as dirty old men. Woody Allen as an example.

Reply 8

fenton484

17

I think you have to ask why men in their forties or fifties would be dating a sixteen year old or whatever, becaues it definitely does happen. So what if they are of "legal age"? No girl in their right mind would date someone that much older, who clearly is only interested in sex

Reply 9

Ramipril

18

As long as nobody is being a nonce, their choice.

Reply 10

IVLIVSCAESAR

11

Original post by londonmyst

Mostly attraction, shared interests and compatible lifestyle related.
I've never been attracted to guys younger than me or those in their 20s.
I'm not compatible with hardcore gym guys, playground whiners, heavy users of modern tech or those who are into online gaming/identity politics/porn.
Guys in their early to mid 30s are often also into many of those things and don't have much in common with me.

It does seem to me, without intending to comr across as rude, as a rather strict constraint though. For example; I prefer girls who are fairly mature relative to my own age (22), but I would certainly date a girl younger if she still met the standards of maturity

Do you not consider your position to be perhaps a little rigid?

Reply 11

candydiva

16

Original post by fenton484

I think you have to ask why men in their forties or fifties would be dating a sixteen year old or whatever, becaues it definitely does happen. So what if they are of "legal age"? No girl in their right mind would date someone that much older, who clearly is only interested in sex

I felt I should say, you are right in one way (it does happen) and wrong in two others (whose idea it was and that the rel was "just sex") :smile:

I was one of those girls and btw I speak for myself, not all girls. But you said "all" girls so here goes...

Yes I was 16 and he was in his early 40s. At that time I just wanted sex, and to lose my v with a respectful man who knew what to do.... at least that was how it was supposed to be... but my lover delivered so much more than I expected. So, that's my first lesson dude....girls do want it and know it even if they can be 16 - and then why do we always have to fight this stereotype that females don't (or shouldn't) want sex, and must be manipulated or coerced or deceived into doing it etc.??! :mad:

When I read TSR sometimes I wonder, why haven't males evolved more than this? I thought it was 2020, not 1820.

And just sex? No! Over the years since then I traveled with him to more than twenty different countries, attended events, learned some of his profession, he helped me with applications/interviews/presentations, professional development, learned how to drive...on and on. Soooo much more than it was to begin with. So...how was he clearly "only" interested in sex?

Girls! I want to sigh... After him, I really couldn't do hs boys any more... I tried but they made me cringe with so many of their habits. Even college guys had the same problems. He showed me respect and consideration without babying me in a way that young guys just cannot seem to manage. He made it clear what his boundaries were and invited me to test the waters with him. I do not play games with him and I don't want to.

He thought I would be bi- before I knew I was. He even helped me with dates and trips with my gf using his points. He thought I'd decide to be exclusive with one of the girls...but no. I can't and won't. He delivers sooo much and is so fun and allaround satisfying. We have an open rel and yes he has other girls, including a couple of my friends a little while ago, lol! They really enjoyed him too....

Our rel isn't convention, doesn't fit socially-approved parameters, and hey... we don't give a t### lol! It works better than almost everyone else's more "conventional" rel and has already lasted longer than most. We don't have drama, social media angst, dependency or any other problems.

So all things considered I was, and am, 100 percent in my "right mind." I'm not sure about girls who do it before they are ready, who are initimidated or abused or manipulated by boys, if they are in their right mind...or the numerous dudes who seem to believe that girls can't, don't and shouldn't want sex...what about them?

Aside... so many dudes like to pontificate about "all girls" and they are always wrong, so wrong... prob explains a lot of things lol!

Reply 12

londonmyst

19

Original post by IVLIVSCAESAR

It does seem to me, without intending to comr across as rude, as a rather strict constraint though. For example; I prefer girls who are fairly mature relative to my own age (22), but I would certainly date a girl younger if she still met the standards of maturity

Do you not consider your position to be perhaps a little rigid?

No, I'm only attracted to guys who are at least 15 years older.
I also operate a long list of dating dealbreakers.
Ruling out guys who: hate/have a phobia against dogs, are divorced, close to their relatives, religious or won't be sexually compatible with me.

Reply 13

IVLIVSCAESAR

11

Original post by londonmyst

No, I'm only attracted to guys who are at least 15 years older.
I also operate a long list of dating dealbreakers.
Ruling out guys who: hate/have a phobia against dogs, are divorced, close to their relatives, religious or won't be sexually compatible with me.

If you're only attracted to guys who are specifically that much older, then it makes sense. However, to tarnish all younger men as immature is perhaps not objectively correct, or at least I would suppose :dontknow:

I think it's fair enough that you have those requirements; everyone has some things that are dealbreakers. Out of interest, have you found a longt term partner who satisfies all requirements?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by londonmyst

No, I'm only attracted to guys who are at least 15 years older.
I also operate a long list of dating dealbreakers.
Ruling out guys who: hate/have a phobia against dogs, are divorced, close to their relatives, religious or won't be sexually compatible with me.

close to relatives is a weird one. Why do you have issues if a guys is close to his family?

Reply 15

londonmyst

19

Original post by fenton484

I think you have to ask why men in their forties or fifties would be dating a sixteen year old or whatever, becaues it definitely does happen. So what if they are of "legal age"? No girl in their right mind would date someone that much older, who clearly is only interested in sex

Plenty of girls aged 16-19 who are only interested in sex do prefer to hookup or date guys in their 40s-50s age group.
Those not seeking a monogamous relationship, any type of commitment or trading sex for money.
Other teenage girls marry older guys; my grandmother was 17 when she got married to a religious man decades older without parental consent.

Reply 16

fenton484

17

Original post by londonmyst

Plenty of girls aged 16-19 who are only interested in sex do prefer to hookup or date guys in their 40s-50s age group.
Those not seeking a monogamous relationship, any type of commitment or trading sex for money.
Other teenage girls marry older guys; my grandmother was 17 when she got married to a religious man decades older without parental consent.

That is true, it can be the other way round, though from the girls i know who i like that they can easily find someone in that age group

Reply 17

londonmyst

19

Original post by IVLIVSCAESAR

I think it's fair enough that you have those requirements; everyone has some things that are dealbreakers. Out of interest, have you found a longt term partner who satisfies all requirements?

I'm happily single and not looking for a long term partner.
My longest relationship lasted 2 years.

Reply 18

IVLIVSCAESAR

11

Original post by londonmyst

I'm happily single and not looking for a long term partner.
My longest relationship lasted 2 years.

I do hope I'm not coming across as overly critical or anything like that, I'm just curious. I do wonder whether your standards may be a tad rigid/too high though?

As an example; the vast majority of men with something of a sex drive will watch porn, but this appears to be a dealbreaker for you. Would you not consider this standard to be a little more strict than necessary?

Reply 19

londonmyst

19

Original post by Anonymous

close to relatives is a weird one. Why do you have issues if a guys is close to his family?

I am not family orientated, avoid the "family means everything" crowd and don't want to disrupt someone else's family.
One of the worst dates I ever had was with a guy who forgot his wallet but remembered to bring his mother, asked me for a loan after I had paid for all three people and then asked me out again because his mother liked me. :facepalm:

My first and last blind date.

What do you think people dating someone who waaayyy younger/older than them?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you