Boyfriend & babymums😕😒

So me and this guy have been seeing eachother for 3 months but first met him 2 years ago but didn’t give him the chance.

Anyways he has two children with two different mums ( yeah I know). Youngest is 5 years old. That babymum he was settled down with and he still pays for the house as he said he doesn’t want to kick them out as she won’t be able to afford it alone. ( the children live outside London, he visits them every fortnight for the weekend). That babymum and him are friends and have a good co parent relationship and speak every day almost to speak about the child and other things. And I think when they’re there they do go out together with the child. Their relationship ended as they just fell out of love.

Should I feel any type of way that he is still so close to her? As she lives outside London I don’t even know what happens when they’re there. I’ve never dated someone with kids but I’ve given him a chance. He is quite open with me about a lot of it.

Reply 1

Chicken.M.

I wouldn't get involved if you don't have kids of your own. That's just me though.

Reply 2

bones-mccoy

How old are you? Being with someone who has kids is quite a lot to take on at a young age

There's nothing to suggest that he's still romantically invested in his ex, they have to have a civil relationship in order to provide their child with a stable co-parenting dynamic. I've seen how damaging it can be first hand when parents despise each other and make it well known - the only person who suffers is the child. It sounds like the two of them are being quite mature about it.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by ChickenMadness

I wouldn't get involved if you don't have kids of your own. That's just me though.

Yeah I always said no to dating people with children. But we just accidentally fell for eachother after them 2 years.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by bones-mccoy

24. Hes 32.

It’s something he keeps out of my reach. As in he doesn’t bother me with them. He said he doesn’t bring his girlfriends around his children and neither does the babymum. Which I’m happy about because I have my life before Being a stepmom lol. He never causes me any issues with them as we don’t even know about eachother. I think this is the best way until we settle down ourselves.

Im just scared lol because I’m thinking imagine they’re actually together. But then I know if it wasn’t for the child it wouldn’t be happening. I guess I just have to trust his word because he’s been very open with me about it.

Reply 5

bones-mccoy

Original post by Anonymous

That's good, then, it can be really unsettling for young children to be introduced to new girlfriends or boyfriends when they need some kind of stability. If he's being open about it, that's a good sign, and you're right in that all you can do is trust him. I don't see why you shouldn't at least give this relationship a proper go, he sounds like a nice guy.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by bones-mccoy

Thank you.

And he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. He introduces me to everyone as his girl. So I don’t know. We’ve both said we love eachother but we’ll see. Hahah