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Why am I so attracted to Narcissists?

I guess they are more charismatic or something but I find them extremely attractive. I am always chasing and looking up to them. Why do I find them so attractive?

Reply 1

username5447420

Original post by Anonymous

I guess they are more charismatic or something but I find them extremely attractive. I am always chasing and looking up to them. Why do I find them so attractive?

Only you can answer that question.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by jacobf91

Only you can answer that question.

what do you mean?

Reply 3

londonmyst

Probably because narcissists are usually very sophisticated, financially affluent and do everything that they can to appear attractive.
They are highly skilled at hiding their true natures behind a charming, polished, calculating and very confident veneer.
It takes a long time to get to know them and become acquainted with the less delightful elements of their personality.

Reply 4

SupposedlyIronic

I mean you can probably confirm or deny this yourself but I'd guess that you admire their confidence. A lot of people say confidence is attractive, and I agree to an extent myself. Narcissists have confidence to the extreme, so perhaps you find that quite appealing. With you using the phrase "looking up to them" I'd also assume that you wish you possessed the same kind of confidence.

Reply 5

voliviavv

I don`t know. For example, I hate such guys.

Reply 6

username5443076

Original post by Anonymous

I guess they are more charismatic or something but I find them extremely attractive. I am always chasing and looking up to them. Why do I find them so attractive?

This is really something only you can answer.

Reply 7

username5455976

Can someone Pleeeeease define narcissist? Some say they're basically psychos, sociopaths and Machiavellians and some say they are in love with themselves (honestly same) but I just dunno what the hell a narcissist is!

Reply 8

SupposedlyIronic

Original post by SelKel

Essentially someone who thinks very highly of themselves while feeling little empathy for others. In casual conversation people may use it to mean someone who's arrogant, but it's more extreme than that. Narcissists are also generally very volatile when criticised.

I'll put a link here if you want to know more.

Reply 9

username5447420

Original post by Anonymous

what do you mean?

I mean only you know how your brain works, and only you can tell what your heart feels. People on TSR cannot explain to you these things, you just have to work it out :P

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

If u like being dominated, controlled, they’re self-centred, confident, jealous and have excessive pride then go for it. They’re toxic tho

Reply 11

candydiva

Have u considered that u may not yet have developed the ppl reading skills to appreciate the difference between the narcissist and the self-confident?

There is overlap. There is no clear line btwn these two characteristics but there are clearly people who r unheathily narcissistic and those who are just a lil' arrogant coz they r self-confident.

Yes most girls do find narcissists attractive. This is bcoz in the typical world, in which girls want validation and need boys to approach them to initiate any type of rel friendship or otherwise, narcissists manage much better... they offer spontaneous comms, they do no angst over the meaning of every exchange, they do not allow small slights to deflect them. Their self-image is maintained in the face of negging which in some ways safeguards them from self-doubt and questioning everything they do or pondering their self-worth.

The self-confident do not parse text or phone comms or lack of comms or micoanalyze social behaviors like frequency of chat etc. The difference is that the self-confident are not socially autistic and can relate to ppl well even though they don't take every small thing onboard.

Master is immensely self-confident with v good reasons - the dude has survived assault with weapons, rents cars in countries with alphabets that he can't read at first and drives into the nite, has lived in difft countries and gone through residency, has worked and lived in very diverse environments etc. So he radiates a strong self-assurance. He can be a lil' arrogant sometimes but that comes wth the turf. But he's not a narcissist...he is not concerned about how he looks or projects, he's very task-oriented, he helps ppl in various constructive ways like helping them file harassment complaints in v bad, abusive sits at work, he can talk to women his age about life stuff or student girls about college with ease, he listens v well and empathizes and overall he's a doer not a worrier. Yes these are very attractive qualities. Any person would feel very safe and cared for with him...especially women. He's more like the Lazenby Bond than the Connery one lol!

Reply 12

SupposedlyIronic

Original post by candydiva

This is bcoz in the typical world, in which girls want validation and need boys to approach them to initiate any type of rel friendship or otherwise, narcissists manage much better... they offer spontaneous comms, they do no angst over the meaning of every exchange, they do not allow small slights to deflect them. Their self-image is maintained in the face of negging which in some ways safeguards them from self-doubt and questioning everything they do or pondering their self-worth.

The self-confident do not parse text or phone comms or lack of comms or micoanalyze social behaviors like frequency of chat etc. The difference is that the self-confident are not socially autistic and can relate to ppl well even though they don't take every small thing onboard.

You're using two things interchangeably despite seemingly knowing that they're different. Narcissists don't maintain their self-image, and in fact have very fragile egos; they're known for blowing up at small criticisms because it goes against what they picture themselves to be.

Furthermore, narcissists can't relate to people well as they show very little empathy for others.

Maybe what you're saying works for confident people, but not narcissists. The line is pretty clear.

Reply 13

candydiva

Well I did specify in my model that narcissism and self-confidence overlap in the Venn diagram of personality.

I agree narcissists don't maintain a wholesome or independent self-image and can't relate... yet, they do maintain an imperviousness to critique that allows them to maintain their focus. Example, when in a group at the pub a narcissist approaches... the dude will hold forth in the face of comments that are disparaging and negging and work his target, usually a girl with lower self-confidence who clearly responds to his fake comments. He will respond with barbs and arrows that are intended to undermine those around him. But he will nevertheless continue and sometimes, she will respond. He will blow up at some point and he is fragile coz his self-image depends on his trickery working.

The example with master was intended to clarify some differences I see between a strongly self-confident man and a narcissist.

Reply 14

TSKR

Original post by Anonymous

I guess they are more charismatic or something but I find them extremely attractive. I am always chasing and looking up to them. Why do I find them so attractive?

Did someone sayyy narcissist?

Reply 15

hsn0002

Original post by Anonymous

I guess they are more charismatic or something but I find them extremely attractive. I am always chasing and looking up to them. Why do I find them so attractive?